Why do men like this

(28 Posts)
Nchangedwoman Mon 02-Sep-19 10:14:05

Name changed for this! blushgrin

I've recently had an experience with a great guy.. he was enjoying going down on me. Felt great until he starts getting his fingers involved...

Please don't get me wrong... it does feel great for us woman having the odd one or two but not when we have 3 or 4 fingers inside of us, what's the deal with this?!

Does it feel good for them? Some sort of turn on?

At one point I thought he was trying to get his whole arm inside me !! sadshock

Any experience with this? confusedhmm x

OP’s posts: |
xpc316e Mon 02-Sep-19 14:14:50

My current partner can take no more than two fingers inside her (and very much enjoys manual stimulation), but I have had sexual partners who have been more than happy to have four fingers inserted. We are all individuals and the mistake your man is making is assuming that because in the past some women have enjoyed being stretched, then you will also get off on that. You need to gently steer him in the right direction if you think he is worth retraining, or dump him if you reckon he's not a keeper - your choice.

Sparkybloke Mon 02-Sep-19 17:26:25

Noooo....one finger or two at most....my partner loves a bit of finger work but just that....a finger to get things going before the main event!

busybarbara Mon 02-Sep-19 20:32:46

It's because the numeric side of his brain is overriding the commonsense part. To a man if you find one finger nicer than none and two nicer than one... well surely three or four must be even better! This is also why men will end up drinking ten plus pints.

MisterT373 Mon 02-Sep-19 23:21:59

Sounds like hes working his way up to deliver a fisting.

StarlightLady Tue 03-Sep-19 06:02:57

It’s because many can’t see beyond insertion and need satnav to find the clitoris.

ADUTT7 Tue 03-Sep-19 08:44:36

You just need to tell him and surely it will stop.


Arnoldthecat Wed 04-Sep-19 20:36:38

They've been watching too much porn and think women enjoy having a fist rammed up them like a scene from All creatures great and small. I guess some do...

CrazySnakeLady Thu 05-Sep-19 10:05:35

Some people like the feel of being stretched, the more fingers the merrier! And some men get off on watching a woman stretching. Different strokes for different folks. If you don't like it just tell him, communication is key to great sex.

Joey7t8 Thu 05-Sep-19 20:33:30

Chances are his previous partner like it - it’s not uncommon. Just need to tell him it’s not for you.

Janie143 Fri 06-Sep-19 14:12:43

I love it but we're all different Just tell him if you don't like it

Fucksandflowers Sat 07-Sep-19 18:39:37

I HATE fingers inside me!
Thankfully I think DH can read me and virtually never tries it anymore.

burnttoastandjam Sat 07-Sep-19 18:49:18

I love 3/4 fingers.

Talk to him about your preferences

Divebar Wed 11-Sep-19 19:20:33

Some men are unaware that lots of women can’t have vaginal orgasms. Probably not helped by porn to be honest. Next time he does it wriggle away and shout “ Oi no! As you were “

TemporaryPermanent Fri 13-Sep-19 23:58:30

There is nothing - nothing - in sex that isn't liked by anybody. It's easy to think you're either vanilla or kinky, and if you're vanilla then you like what everyone likes. So wrong. Your sexuality and your body are wonderfully unique. Dont make him guess. Tell him. You could order him, beg him, text him... whatever you both find hot.

Malesingleparent Thu 19-Sep-19 06:56:22

Each person is different with regards to their sexual needs. What I find amusing and yet very annoying at the same time is whenever someone posts a thread about sexual behaviour they do not appreciate, there is always a few posters that think it's due to too much porn. Personally I don't understand the correlation between using 4 fingers to stimulate a woman and watching any porn nevermind too much.
When I was in my late teens their was a girl in my social circle who loved 4 fingers up her. We nicknamed her KitKat. There was no online porn back then at all.
OP just tell your partner to use 1 or 2 fingers so you can feel the whole expertise of his oral technique he should not be offended

Oldrockman Thu 19-Sep-19 10:50:53

I would think there is a strong chance that a previous partner may have liked that sort of thing. From the few women I have been with, they all wanted different things. Talk to him, be honest about your wants and desires, though you can somewhat tell by peoples reactions its worth talking about both of your desires and boundaries. Especially the latter, where this is seeming to cross.

DragonNoodleCake Sat 21-Sep-19 09:01:42

Oh I hate fingers!! I just tell partners, that nope it's not for me. My best friend loves it apparently. We are just all different.

AloneLonelyLoner Sat 21-Sep-19 17:41:55

I love a whole hand if possible! It does freak my partner out though so I rarely get it! Boooooo

1forAll74 Sun 22-Sep-19 05:28:44

When I was young ha ha, like flighty and desirable and a girl from the 60 era, I had lots of men so to speak, and I don't ever remember any finger stuff as such, like a lot of fingers. The only fingers that people talked about, were Cadbury's chocolate fingers ha ha.

I was thinking that this big ,and many finger issue,was a thing of modern times, as in,people talk about it, and then they all wan't to do it, and get in on the act, and obviously lots enjoy it ha ha

Windydaysuponus Thu 26-Sep-19 15:34:17

Maybe he had farming ambitions??

Tiger785 Sat 28-Sep-19 08:21:51

I only insert what my partner wants. Always start with 1 then 2. If she wants more I will though that's rare. Let him know that 2 is enough.

SimplySteveRedux Sat 28-Sep-19 13:57:57

* It’s because many can’t see beyond insertion and need satnav to find the clitoris.*


It's different every time and factors such as stress, tiredness, wetness, wants etc all come (ahem) into it. DP enjoys squirting via G/A/P spot stimulation, but it still only takes two fingers (and a tongue).

As always, communication is everything with sex.

yellowallpaper Sat 28-Sep-19 14:46:02

I think it's a man thing, I never found more than 2 enjoyable.

Namechangedyorkshire Sat 28-Sep-19 15:21:59

I love having a finger inside me, and enjoy DH doing it and playing with my cervix. If I'm really turned on then he will progress to two fingers but any more is too much and not comfortable

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