Scared of having sex after giving birth

[Pondlife87]

Hello,
I had a baby girl 14 weeks ago. After a difficult and long labour I had a forceps delivery with epistiotomy.
I am so terrified of having sex again. My husband and I tried earlier and we just couldn't get it in. We used lots of lube and tried to go slowly as possible, but I just ended up in tears.
I have always been very tight down there, but after 6 months of no intercourse and being stitched up it feels even smaller now.
I think there is a psychological element as 1. I don't feel very attractive and 2. After a traumatic birth I am terrified of getting pregnant again. We are making sure we do other things to stay sexually active and intimate, but I'm not sure my husband would like a lifetime of no intercourse (although he says otherwise).

Has anyone got any advice/ has anyone been through this and come out the positive side?

[TextbookCase]

14 weeks is NOTHING in post-birth terms. Your body is still healing and recuperating. You must still be very busy and tired with the baby. Maybe just be prepared to leave it for a while?

Take your time, organise some contraception that will stop you worrying, and then ultimately see a doctor if things don't work out.

[StarlightLady]

It’s early days still. Take your time and get the contraception sorted.

Maybe more oral only sessions to begin with? It’s important to see the bigger picture beyond penetration.

[jgjgjgjgjg]

Get a set of graduated dildos and use them by yourself. When you can accommodate the largest size comfortably hopefully your worries about having a penis inside you will disappear.

[caffeine99]

Agree with the others that 14 weeks are nothing. I had a similar birth story and, while I may have been ready psyhically, psychologically I was not ready for MONTHS.

If you are not being seen by a physiotherapist please ask for a referral. I can't stress how important this is.

The suggestion to try using the graduated dildos is a good one. Try to get comfortable on your own before trying again with your husband.

Genuinely - It was MONTHS before I was even NEARLY ready to try to have intercourse. Take your time and go at your own pace.

Some regions provide counselling for traumatic births - this may be worth discussing with your GP as it sounds like it may benefit you.

Good luck and take care - be kind to yourself as you have been through a lot!