Is this normal?

(14 Posts)
nightowl558 Thu 20-Jun-19 16:12:32

I don't know if this is unusual or not, my fiance has trouble with either maintaining an erection and then coming too quickly. Sex often lasts five minutes or less, this has been going on for about eight or nine months, he had blood tests done last month and all came back normal so we are both puzzled as to whats going on. We are older but both inexperienced in relationships and sex. Any ideas what is going on, suggestions to what we can do to improve things?

OP’s posts: |
xpc316e Thu 20-Jun-19 17:10:39

The average man lasts for between 2-4 minutes of thrusting before orgasm, so he may be absolutely normal. We are conditioned to thinking that men can go all night because of porn and the media, but it isn't usually the case.

Jason118 Fri 21-Jun-19 00:02:25

Go again after his first orgasm. The second time is so much better, lasts much longer and removes the focus from the end game to the journey. Good luck!

Fucksandflowers Fri 21-Jun-19 07:45:38

My DH is like this.
I actually like it because I only last less than 5 minutes as well.. blush

Although he seems to be lasting longer as he gets older.

nightowl558 Fri 21-Jun-19 14:19:41

Thanks for your replies, we're concerned as he used to be able to last a bit longer (10-20 minutes approx) before coming but now neither of us gets anything out of it, (I've never orgasmed or come close) but still its frustrating as I enjoy the feeling of him being inside but as he's not that big I can usually feel a lot more just before he comes then its over and thats it! Frustrating! (he can't get hard again after he's come, he's 46 so maybe an age thing?)

OP’s posts: |
Fucksandflowers Fri 21-Jun-19 14:21:34

I don't want to worry you but if this is a new thing and he used to last 20 minutes, keep it up etc and now can't I would go to the doctor as erectile problems can be an early indicator of heart disease.

AverageGuy Fri 21-Jun-19 14:27:48

There are condoms available that have a numbing agent in them, specifically designed to make him last longer. I find they work really well...

Also consider Viagra (but get him to see his doctor first!). It's available over the counter now.

What about masturbation / oral?


nightowl558 Sat 22-Jun-19 00:56:01

He had an ECG as well last month which was fine, he did say to the doctor when he was there about this problem and reckoned it was stress from work. I have suggested Viagra to him which he's reluctant to try, partly as I believe they come in tablet form and he can't swallow tablets! I've tried oral on him, we have to get him hard by hand first but after about ten minutes or so of me giving him oral he loses the erection, which is demoralising for both of us!

OP’s posts: |
Milliy Sat 22-Jun-19 14:47:23

Stress plays a huge part in erectile issues. Medication also.

Arnoldthecat Sat 22-Jun-19 21:48:25

The average man lasts for between 2-4 minutes of thrusting before orgasm


TextbookCase Sat 22-Jun-19 23:35:41

I have a suggestion. He is probably quite stressed about ejaculating / not ejaculating. Try to have a couple of weeks where you just remove this from the equation. Have a few encounters where you relieve yourselves of that stress.

Let him watch you masturbate. Do a lot of oral. Show him that he can please you other ways.

Tell him to put it inside you but just go really really slow and stop whenever he wants.

If you keep doing the same thing and hoping it will get better, it won't. You need to give the guy some confidence back, and it will help if you get his mind off PIV thrusting for a while.

Ginandsonic Sun 23-Jun-19 08:12:42

That's about average, but any changes need to be reviewed by a doctor in case its anything dodgy. I'm happy with 5 mins of penetration as long as I've had a good 15-20 mins+ of foreplay, and preferably an orgasm during foreplay too.

Anotherblokelurking Sun 23-Jun-19 08:49:08

Kamagra jelly could be an easier to swallow alternative to viagra but it means ordering over the internet

MisterT373 Sun 23-Jun-19 19:24:27

Has he has his testosterone levels measured?

There is also tbe vicious cycle of him starting to worry that he wont be hard and that he will disappoint you and so he will lose focus and with it the erection. We dont want to let our lovers down and also the lack of erection also diminishes our sense of masculinity

Vicious cycle.

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