Tips to orgasm through PIV

(31 Posts)
Severnlurveheart Fri 07-Jun-19 09:29:02

I'm in a wonderful new relationship. My partner is a generous lover and we have amazing chemistry. He is soooo good at giving oral but I have only climaxed once through PIV. It was the same day I had a Hollywood but not by waxing, it was sugaring so it's not sore but feels more sensitive in a very good way wink

I feel really bad about it as he delays his climax for me and although I really enjoy lovemaking I don't climax. I'm not the kind of woman that has multiple orgasms. He gives me a huge orgasm by oral then it feels over sensitive immediately after. I am happy with a morning and nightime orgasm but I find my clitoris feels desensitized if we have more than 2 sessions a day. He does have a strong sex drive, we are both early fifties.
I only see him every other weekend, we aren't at it like rabbits 24/7 btw. Is there anyone else out there who has overcome this? Excuse the pun..

OP’s posts: |
dementedpixie Fri 07-Jun-19 09:37:14

Lots of women don't climax through PIV. I only do if my clitoris is stimulated manually at the same time

Severnlurveheart Fri 07-Jun-19 09:45:50

Lots of women don't climax through PIV. I only do if my clitoris is stimulated manually at the same time

I kind of feel he is used to women who do, I don't want to ask to much as I easily get insecure. His last partner told him she had been with a woman for 2 years then wanted a man so I can imagine she couldn't get enough, also she was a lot younger so I know I'll start overthinking if we have a conversation about It!
When I was a lot younger I had 2 partners who could make me climax through PIV but as I've got older it doesn't seem to happen but them I've been spoiled by being by guys who are very skilled at oral.

OP’s posts: |
dementedpixie Fri 07-Jun-19 09:49:14

Maybe they just faked it!

StarlightLady Fri 07-Jun-19 11:35:24

As long as you are climaxing and enjoying the rest of the fun what does it matter?

I think you need to have less concern about the road to orgasm. The primary female sex organ us the clitoris, which is what makes oral so special.

waterSpider Fri 07-Jun-19 12:54:47

Probably you've thought of these, but
Different positions - affecting friction with the clitoris
Stopping PIV for some not-quite-orgasmic oral, then resuming.

Hard to get the balance between sensitising and keeping stimulated -- someone once said that female orgasm is like building towers with decks of playing cards. Sometimes you're close, only to then have to start all over again.

NameChangeNugget Fri 07-Jun-19 14:26:46

I’m always more orgasmic when I’ve had a Hollywood, thought it was just me!

Have you tried putting a cushion under your bum?

Advertisement

Severnlurveheart Fri 07-Jun-19 15:18:23

Thanks for the replies. I think a more prolonged session of foreplay will help. He is eager to please but sometimes we go for PIV too soon. I think it's partly me wanting to please him as much as possible. There was a chance he would have to relocate abroad through work but now he's staying. I just wanted to satisfy him during our brief fling as he's been so kind and loving to me but now he's staying so we may develop into something more long term. Next time we meet I'm booked in to have a Hollywood the same day so that will help things.

OP’s posts: |
Severnlurveheart Fri 07-Jun-19 15:22:59

Have you tried putting a cushion under your bum?

I have only done that when trying to conceive. Willing to give it a try, thanks!

OP’s posts: |
Anotherblokelurking Sat 08-Jun-19 06:35:08

Achieved this last week for only second time with DW2. We were on holiday with adult kids and grandkids. Having some fun on a squeaky bed she had orgasmed from oral then we went for PIV. She usually only likes one orgasm, usually too sensitive for further oral or fingering then when she calms down she likes a hard fast fuck and so do I, but to avoid making noise we went for a slow but fairly hard grind, I lasted longer and she had another four or five mini follow-up orgasms.

Christian77 Sat 08-Jun-19 09:01:57

A lot of this is mental and about understanding how to give yourself permission to let go and be open to orgasm. It really helps if he pulls himself up as far as possible to enable his pubic bone to stimulate your clitoris. This is very effective.
One thing though; if you over-think things, nothing will happen.

CursedDiamond Sat 08-Jun-19 11:57:28

Generally, I find from behind, it with a cushion under my bum so I can get to my clit. I get a different ‘type’ of orgasm when I’m on top, and especially if I stay still and he thrusts. It’s more vaginal and I get sort of uncontrollable spasms. G-spot maybe? Never really been sure.

CareBear50 Sun 09-Jun-19 09:42:13

I have never cum from oral sex. I. Fifty now so I think my body just doesn't work that way.

I love PIV. I love missionary.....legs wrapped around partner's waist and I'll play w my clit . I can honestly cum in about sixty seconds in that position

Severnlurveheart Mon 10-Jun-19 21:41:34

It really helps if he pulls himself up as far as possible to enable his pubic bone to stimulate your clitoris. that sounds like the CAT technique. I've been wanting to try that. I'll try not to overthink it. I seeing him this weekend so the anticipation is building but I'm thinking more about being more assertive and I've bought some sexy underwear.

OP’s posts: |
Severnlurveheart Mon 10-Jun-19 21:44:53

Achieved this last week for only second time with DW2. We were on holiday with adult kids and grandkids. Having some fun on a squeaky bed she had orgasmed from oral then we went for PIV. She usually only likes one orgasm, usually too sensitive for further oral or fingering then when she calms down she likes a hard fast fuck and so do I, but to avoid making noise we went for a slow but fairly hard grind, I lasted longer and she had another four or five mini follow-up orgasms.
Lucky DW2 wink

OP’s posts: |
Anotherblokelurking Tue 11-Jun-19 06:08:38

And lucky me! grin

Proseccopanda Tue 11-Jun-19 18:18:14

I find that squeezing my pelvic floor muscles helps me to get there.

bebeboeuf Tue 11-Jun-19 21:27:50

It’s not the bloke that can make a woman orgasm through PIV but down to the woman

My DH and I can orgasm together during PIV but his ex never did.

Severnlurveheart Wed 12-Jun-19 00:03:25

Thanks. I am taking all these suggestions on board.
It’s not the bloke that can make a woman orgasm through PIV but down to the woman
This is true, the one time I did climax with PIV wasn't down to anything he had done differently.

OP’s posts: |
NameChangeNemo Wed 12-Jun-19 10:43:56

This may be selfish, but for me, if I just lay there and "take it", I usually orgasm from PiV. If I try to "get involved" I overthink things and can't enjoy it as much, so I definitely think it's a mindset thing. I need a decent amount of warm-up (fingering), but then I'm generally good to go. I might be wired slightly differently, though. I can only orgasm through vaginal or anal penetration. Oral sex doesn't do much for me.

Christian77 Wed 12-Jun-19 21:29:24

I never get that, just like guys who can’t get off through a BJ!
Great oral sex is like nothing else, just awesome. I believe heaven is an eternal, tipsy 69!

Severnlurveheart Fri 14-Jun-19 08:59:02

NamechangeNemo
You sound like most guys dream lover. Not having to bother with the clit and just getting straight on it.

Christian77
Same.

OP’s posts: |
Severnlurveheart Fri 21-Jun-19 11:16:27

Didn't happen at the weekend although when I was on top he told me to keep still and he did all the grinding which was a turn on. Still had an amazing time in bed.

Not seeing him for a couple of weeks so the absence will increase the sexual tension. I do enjoy it when he tells me what to do as well wink

OP’s posts: |
NameChangeNemo Fri 21-Jun-19 14:46:08

I don't get much out of being on top. Find it hard to orgasm, and end up leaving it all to DH because my rhythm is off, and when I get close I stop moving entirely.

Have you tried a bit of dirty talk? If you like him telling you what to do that might help things along. Also, maybe try using a dildo when you're apart? I definitely think PiV orgasms are easier to achieve the more you have sex.

Alternatively, a vibrating cock ring is likely to help, as you'll both get the simulation you need, simultaneously.

Severnlurveheart Fri 21-Jun-19 15:17:19

Have you tried a bit of dirty talk? If you like him telling you what to do that might help things along.
I would like to but I haven't mentioned this to him. English is his second language and he has a very sexy accent so he wouldn't need to say much.

OP’s posts: |

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in