Do you go near your husbands bum?

(53 Posts)
freshstartnewme Mon 27-May-19 11:01:02

First off I promise I am not a troll, MNHQ will be able to clarify, if needed, for any doubters!

Inspired somewhat by the poster (s) who think their DH should shower if they have gone for a poo before bed and they are going to have sex.

I can't quite work out what impact going for a poo would have on sex, unless the DH anus is involved in the sex.

I have never, and absolutely never will, used my DH arsehole during sex.

Am I in the minority?

OP’s posts: |
dementedpixie Mon 27-May-19 11:18:22

I may touch bum cheeks but I don't go near his bumhole

StarlightLady Mon 27-May-19 11:30:39

But oral and foreplay takes you very near regardless doesn’t it? I wouldn’t want to go down on someone who had gone for a poo and not had a shower. It’s a proximity thing.

TooTrueToBeGood Mon 27-May-19 12:49:48

My wife never goes at my bum and I have no desire for her to do so, though as StarlightLady mentions oral can bring her into very close proximity.

Regardless of the bum thing though, I have a shower and shave every night before bed if at all possible and absolutely if there is any likelihood we are going to be intimate. Men are generally sweatier than women (absolutely in my case) and our genitals require more cleaning. The idea of expecting my wife to be intimate with my body if it hasn't been purged of all the sweat, bacteria, fluff and stubble it collects throughout the day is quite gross.

Arnoldthecat Mon 27-May-19 13:16:45

I am a man though my name is not Arnold. I shower regularly and certainly if there is a hint that there may be frightfulness in the bedroom , i make sure im nice and clean.

freshstartnewme Mon 27-May-19 13:18:52

Oh I'm not saying we should not wash, quite the opposite, but after every poo?

OP’s posts: |
TooTrueToBeGood Mon 27-May-19 13:42:40

Oh I'm not saying we should not wash, quite the opposite, but after every poo?

Well if you shower immediately before bed then you've effectively showered post poo, unless you shit the bed.


freshstartnewme Mon 27-May-19 13:45:10

Yes, of course. But if you were not showering before bed, or if you got up in the night for a poo like the posterDH I was inspired by, you wouldn't have shower, would you?

If DH went for a poo before bed I wouldn't expect him to shower before coming upstairs. Because his anus isn't somewhere I generally go.

OP’s posts: |
StarlightLady Mon 27-May-19 16:49:41

Pleased to hear from the showering men out there. Let me a little more candid. If you are taking someone in your mouth, which is an important part of sex for me, your nose is near their bum! The message is simple -shower! It’s only polite.

Arnoldthecat Mon 27-May-19 19:08:32

We are in agreement Starlight..of course equally applicable to both genders.

Divebar Mon 27-May-19 22:43:03

Well if rimming or pegging are involved then yes I would expect him to have showered

StarlightLady Tue 28-May-19 05:34:51

It’s not a case of rimming or pegging, it’s just basic hygiene and having respect for the person you are having sex with. Neither the penis or the vulva are a million miles from the anus.

So, @Arnoldthecat you can have me anytime wink

freshstartnewme Tue 28-May-19 07:19:28

You really think it's basic hygiene to shower after going for a poo?

OP’s posts: |
Erina1 Tue 28-May-19 07:27:30

Personally I do a lot of rimming on my new partner, and vice versa. He does keep himself exceptionally clean though. For me, I would have a shower post meeting him to ensure evening is perfectly clean.

dementedpixie Tue 28-May-19 07:29:54

Do you mean pre meeting him or you shower when you get there. Rimming just doesn't appeal to me

Erina1 Tue 28-May-19 07:37:22

@dementedpixie so logistics means I can't shower easily at his so I shower prior to going to his. I've done rimming with my last two partners, just an extension of a bj I'd say. I found it turned me on because they were really turned on (and was new to them too). My current partner is very kinky/experienced and was the first to do it to me. I do think you have to be spotlessly clean though.

dementedpixie Tue 28-May-19 07:41:41

You put 'post' meeting him so that means after you get there so was just clarifying

Erina1 Tue 28-May-19 07:43:57

@dementedpixie oops you're right. No, anytime before I know we are meeting, I make sure down there is completely clean

TooTrueToBeGood Tue 28-May-19 08:19:36

Maybe we need an anus beaker thread.

freshstartnewme Tue 28-May-19 08:24:24


It wasn't really a 'do you shower before sex' question, more of a 'do you make your partner shower after a poo at night' question.

Of course we all make sure we are clean for going to a partners house I think

OP’s posts: |
StarlightLady Tue 28-May-19 08:53:28

I am most surprised I have caused any confusion here. I’ll try and be clearer.

I think that regardless of their gender, it is good hygiene (and good manners) for someone who has recently had a poo to have a shower before sex.

NameChangeNugget Tue 28-May-19 11:08:04

I would always insist if that was the case. I love seeing how turned on DH gets and the control I have over him with prostate massage, so would insist he showers first

AloneLonelyLoner Tue 28-May-19 13:32:22

My partner always showers before sex because he says that being hairy down there means men get a lot dirtier than they even realise half the time. Now I've thought about it, I'd be grossed out by a man who hasn't showered.

Arnoldthecat Tue 28-May-19 17:33:12

You really think it's basic hygiene to shower after going for a poo?

Well i think we are digressing slightly as i believe OP meant something slightly different but having said that, post poo ablutions are a cultural and sometimes religious thing. As we know the bidet is not a common fitment in UK toilets but go to Japan and they are ubiquitous with all sorts of modern designs.

In Islam it is the right thing to do to wash after a poo and indeed the shattaf is often found fitted in Islamic households.

Tinkerbellx Tue 28-May-19 19:24:51

I think if I'd been for a poo before getting into bed I might not shower as usually had a shower by then but I would definitely and discreetly have a good wash down there .
I think most people do just no need to tell anyone as it's fairly private but expected if your going to be intimate .

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