Never given a BJ

(10 Posts)
yuert Sun 26-May-19 11:35:48

I'm with a new partner (couple of months now). He made a light hearted comment about wanting a BJ at some point as it hasn't happened yet (it wasn't pressuring or anything).

I'm honestly a bit ashamed to admit that I've never really given one at all! I don't even know how to start without getting it wrong and just feel stupid! (I feel stupid even writing this!)

Any tips?

OP’s posts: |
EmptyOrchestra Sun 26-May-19 12:25:42

Tip 1: don’t blow


It’s really not difficult, don’t overthink it! I really enjoy doing it but you may not - definitely worth trying. I’m sure there are some Cosmo articles or similar giving tips on technique.

Focus on the head with your mouth / tongue, use your hand around the base / balls and you’re golden.

I wouldn’t get too adventurous on your first outing. My friend told me her best technique is to pretend it’s a melting ice cream on a hot day 😂

Hopefully your partner isn’t one of those men who makes no noise whatsoever as that makes it much more difficult. Assuming he makes some sounds, listen carefully to tell what’s working and what isn’t.

Light suction can work, but don’t go crazy.

Practice breathing through your nose with your mouth open since that’s the trickiest part!

Fucksandflowers Sun 26-May-19 13:58:20

Don’t bite him
I did accidentally manage to do this to DH once!

There are some good tutorial videos on youporn.
Not the regular porn videos where men are getting BJs but actual tutorials where the woman talks you through different techniques.
I would post a link but not sure it would be allowed.

And lots of good online articles on google too.

xpc316e Sun 26-May-19 15:56:04

Firstly, I have to say from a male point of view that the best blow jobs involve enthusiasm, not experience. It might be a good idea if you were to talk to your man and tell him that you are not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. Ask him to tell you what he likes and dislikes; it sounds as though he likes being blown, which isn't true of all men.

Tell him what you would like to do; if you want to blow him as a prelude to PIV intercourse, that is fine. If you want him to blow him to orgasm, that is also fine, but you both need to know what is expected of him (and you) at the point of orgasm. As with most things, both inside and outside the bedroom, communication is the key to success.

Lastly, forget that bit about being ashamed about your lack of experience. What you did, or didn't do, before meeting your man is of no consequence whatsoever.

StarlightLady Sun 26-May-19 19:02:37

Let's begin at the beginning.

1. No experience is nothing to be ashamed about. Making up for lost time is easy. flowers

2. What is good for the goose is good,if not better for the gander, so make sure you are getting your fair share too.

3. Make sure you are comfortable. There are few things worse for any form of sex than being in an awkward position.

I’ve always adopted the following and no complaints from anyone to date. Start at the base of the shaft and work your way up, run your tongue round tge head and then engulf it, taking in as much as you are comfy with, but no more. Suck gently combining tongue play, if you get anything more than mild jaw ache, return to licking the head.

If you intend to swallow, you can feel the pulse change before the explosion. Ensure you are in a comfortable swallowing position and take the head to the back of the mouth and the ejaculate can flow straight down. It is not disimilar to Greek yoghurt in texture.

AloneLonelyLoner Sun 26-May-19 19:36:54

I'm sure your current partner will love to tell you exactly what he likes. It's not rocket science, but.....every man is different just like every woman and you can be guided by him. Communication is everything.
My partner, I only very recently discovered, actually loves being bitten, balls squeezed really hard ( the works basically.) I never knew. The last couple of days have been amazing as I really love giving blow jobs (it's probably my favourite thing), and I've now learnt new things.

Good luck and don't worry!

Divebar Sun 26-May-19 22:31:47

Definitely ask because some men like a lot of pressure and some like a more gentler touch, some like the balls being sucked and others don’t. I’ve been sent clips before of what someone wanted and it really involved a lot of spit and drool which is apparently a “ thing” .... so even people with experience learn new things.


MisterT373 Thu 30-May-19 22:49:21

"Describe your worst blow job experience"


Omzlas Fri 31-May-19 15:49:18

That's me never eating Greek yogurt again.... thanks!

Namechangedyorkshire Fri 31-May-19 18:04:11

I think don't go straight for it...get in the mood with foreplay and may sure you are both aroused. Then perhaps start going down. If he has a foreskin then take it right back. Kiss, lick and then try sucking and licking him. Don't rush and if he looks like too excited then slow it down and return back after a little break.

If you feel ok doing it, then letting him come in your mouth will be very very memorable for him. As others have said though enthusiasm is key. He needs to know you really want to do and enjoy doing.

Best of luck

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