'Perfect' BJ?

(36 Posts)
FromageFrais Mon 22-Apr-19 15:21:54

So im seeing a guy who is hotter than the sun and totally in love with me. Perfect right? He gives AMAZING head and i of course want to return the favour.
However he wasnt able to get 100% hard via oral. And wasnt able to finish, either on my face or in my mouth (im not fussy).
He said i gave the best BJ he ever had (i dont believe that...i think he was consoling me) but later over text he admitted hes never really orgasmed during a BJ as no one has ever taken their time or really focused on him like that? Like its always been a flat foreplay thing and just led to sex. He said the only time he's come has been from full on tight wanking and penetrative sex

I now feel i have a challenge on my hands. How do i give him the BJ of his life that will result in him spilling all over? I neeeed need NEEEED to do this.
He is amazing and my previous superpower was always giving head.


OP’s posts: |
Howlingatthesun Mon 22-Apr-19 16:42:18

I never could, mostly because nobody ever wanted me too.... so i never really got to find out what worked for me.

When i met someone who did, i asked her to give me handjob till i was just about there and then finish me off with a bj. Did the trick as cleared a mental block and then we worked out what worked.

Sadly i then married someone who would have rather eaten toenails!!

FromageFrais Mon 22-Apr-19 17:27:20

Ah okay. Handjob till he gets near.
Good idea. Im not quite sure how great my handjob game even is. Fuck. I just wanna get it right!

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VirtuallyConfused Mon 22-Apr-19 17:36:39

So current sexual partner told me before we first slept together that he didn't really ever come from oral. He does with me.

It's about enthusiasm and being goal orientated;) I think it's easy to do it for a bit and then move on to something else but I'm stubborn and I want to get him off in my mouth.

So, I'd say don't give up, tell him you are having fun and just want to play with him because you love it. Learn his cues and breathing, the sounds he makes when he is getting close and keep doing whatever it is you are doing.

Mix it up, cock, sucking, licking, balls and licking further down if he likes it.

It might take time, but you will be rewarded wink

NotReadyForThisX2 Mon 22-Apr-19 19:04:11

I can't remember my password to name change so will go easy on some details blush
Never had anything but compliments though and Dp says I'm definitely the best he's had (of course he can't say otherwise).

Most importantly I enjoy it, in particular that control you've got while doing it and I think that shows. (Plus don't do anything you aren't comfortable with).

If I'm doing just that. I make it a bit of a show, lots of teasing, using hands, mouth, rubbing him against me, boobs and other areas, I kiss his chest, his nipples and stop to kiss him properly before going back down. Don't forget the balls and the perineum.
Also I know a bit of a no no with a BJ but I use teeth, gently if course but I scrape my teeth from the base up and sometimes a very gently bite.

Christian77 Mon 22-Apr-19 20:34:51

I always find these kind of threads astonishing: a guy who can’t cum from having his glans licked/teased, or a woman who doesn’t get off on tongue/finger work, is really quite far from normal. I mean, even the very worst BJ, I can if I want to, and do to get it over with! WTF!?
You sound every man’s dream, he has a significant issue: let him worry about fixing him, you stay just as you are. You sound like a 10!👍!

FromageFrais Mon 22-Apr-19 22:20:58

Im verrrrrrry close to just flirting with you in return but thank you for those compliments.

I always thought of giving head as my super power. I know im amazing. I LOVE to take my time and to give the eye contact when hes about to come.
But with my new man I was so incredibly surprised that this was his response.

I mean he is like 10 years younger and in his early 20s so im putting it down to lack of experience. Its really thrown me off though...

I will try and try again. Because im not usually all too fussed about giving them. But he is so special i literally just want to do nothing more than to just have him in my mouth and please him without him even having to please me in return. Im nice like that lol

OP’s posts: |


TemporaryPermanent Mon 22-Apr-19 22:37:33

A man not coming from oral isn't unusual, and I say this as a woman who has broken a few ducks in that regard. Like anything else in sex, there's a much bigger range of normal than people think. Or else it's just the best line ever...

I would say of my partners about 20% had never come from oral and another 40% found it a struggle.

Agree lots of time, making sure he's comfortable and loads of saliva all help.

StarlightLady Tue 23-Apr-19 06:46:38

Firstly, l am pleased you have met someone you are having a nice time with.

Everyone is different and I think it is important thst you are both having a nice time. Far less important than the route you take. Personally, rather than engage the hands at all, I tend to go hands free. I use my mouth and tongue significantly all over the other person, just popping in my mouth occasionally at first.

You might like to also consider swapping during penetration.

StarlightLady Tue 23-Apr-19 12:48:48

Correction: I meant swapping from penetration to oral. Not swapping partners. blush

xpc316e Tue 23-Apr-19 15:50:25

Firstly, for me it is all about the woman's mouth and the best blow jobs do not feature hand use at all.

It may well be that the act of him thrusting will help to bring him off, so instead of him being a pillow princess where he lies back and you do the hard work, you could try keeping your head still while he does the work. That does entail you being very trusting as you relinquish the ability to control the penetration, and perhaps having an ability to deepthroat, but it changes the dynamic completely. If you are comfortable with that, then lying on your back with your head over the edge of the bed while he stands is a great position.

I also think the best bj has enthusiasm as its chief ingredient, and you seem to have that in spades, so perhaps the problem lies with him and not your technique.

StarlightLady Wed 24-Apr-19 06:04:19

I’m afraid that, in my book, the position suggested by xpc316e above, is uncomfortable to say the least, to the point of being unpleasant. Thrusting is not what it’s about either. It’s not so much about trust as about comfort.

For me, blowies should be delicate and shared as I described previously. That way, I’ve had lots of protein(!) but no complaints.

PussGirl Wed 24-Apr-19 07:12:53

My current partner has only cum in my mouth by wanking himself once he's getting near, which is fine & actually very exciting, but I'd like to manage all by myself. Gradually getting closer though smile

He's older (60s) & less sensitive than he used to be, plus had a few hangups about his ex to start with, which didn't help.

He says enthusiasm with lots of slurping & yum noises are a real turn on smile

faulkner200 Wed 24-Apr-19 10:46:05

always swallow!

higgyhog Wed 24-Apr-19 11:01:55

Years ago I had a BF who couldn't come this way, he said it was because he was circumcised and had less sensitivity in the exposed part.

Arnoldthecat Wed 24-Apr-19 15:14:15

I wonder if its more of a psychological block for some guys? I think that if you are both in the right frame of mind, enjoying it etc then most guys should reach a point where they cum. Perhaps if you man is not quite making it, you could add some lube and massage his perineum,perhaps slip a finger in and massage his prostate. If he doesnt shoot copiously then, well check for a pulse.

Tricuspid Wed 24-Apr-19 21:22:06

Agree that the most important aspect is genuine enthusiasm. My partner has given me a bj occasionally, but I know (she’s told me) that she doesn’t enjoy it, which means I don’t either, and it’s very rare that I can come that way, because I know she hates the taste and will not swallow. Knowing that’s how she feels I’d be pretty selfish if I asked her to do it, so I don’t. However I positively love giving her oral so I do it almost every time, and she always comes.

StarlightLady Thu 25-Apr-19 05:13:42

@Tricuspid: l understand you don’t want to be involved with things outside her comfort zone and commend you for doing your job properly!

If you take the head towards the back of the mouth at the point of the blow out, it flows straight down (similar to Greek yoghurt) and you can taste very little at all. The taste is not unpleasant either with a diet which includes a regular intake of strawberries, kiwi and mango. Careful though because we are in the asparagus season; now that is another matter.

FromageFrais Thu 25-Apr-19 08:20:33


Literally 5 minutes is all it took. I used my hand to grip a little tighter and just kept my eyes on him. Some firm sucking on the tip and stopping to pay attention to his balls.

He eventually told me to move my hands, i think so he could see me fully deepthroat. A little gentle teeth grazing the tip (thanks @NotReadyForThisX2 for the tip!) and some serious dedication and i got his full load. In my mouth. Its all i have wanted for weeks and weeks.

Game changer. Absolute game changer. He is hooked.
I fuckin love MN!

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FromageFrais Thu 25-Apr-19 08:22:21

Oh and to add, the second time all it took was me looking up at him and simply telling him i was desperate for him to cum in my mouth.

Super power restored. I am so fucking happy lol

OP’s posts: |
StarlightLady Thu 25-Apr-19 10:18:58



Joey7t8 Thu 25-Apr-19 12:11:46

Not unusual at all for a man to not be able to orgasm easily from oral. I myself cum far more easily from sex or a handjob. However, it sounds like you’ve got your technique sorted for this particular bloke, and those words are never going to do any harm to any man’s mental stimulation either!

Renarde1975 Thu 25-Apr-19 17:06:07

Yeah! flowers

OP, BTW, do you deep throat?

dingdongthosebells Sat 27-Apr-19 12:07:41

Yay, glad you managed. Another tip for almost guaranteed results; slip a finger up the bum. Tongue in the general area if you're up for it. In my experience there are two types of men with regards to anal stimulation; those who like it and those who haven't tried it

FromageFrais Sat 27-Apr-19 15:03:20

Yes. At least i think i do? Ill take it as far in as i can till im practically choking lol

OP’s posts: |

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