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Too enthusiastic?(9 Posts)
I have NC for this post as still feeling a bit wobbly about it all.
Out of a stressful long term relationship and a bit nervous to get back out there so have not been too active in pursuing people.
However, had a surprising flirtation with old friend which moved onto more heated things & felt comfortable as he is an old friend.
Agreed to meet up earlier this year and it went very well with surprising chemistry, and really great sex.
Great communication afterwards and agreed to meet up again - this time for more than one night and more really great sex.
I thought we both had a good time - however, not sure whether I was too enthusiastic as I could not keep my hands off him.
Communication since has been a bit rubbish and getting the impression the fun has been had and it's back to friends (without saying as much).
Do you think it could be down me being a bit rubbish in bed (I am enthusiastic but a bit out of practice) or has it just run its course and I just let it go.
Must admit my self esteem is taking a bit of a knocking 😬
The self esteem thing is clear from your post. I’m sure this is not a rubbish in bed issue.
In the right circumstances there is nothing wrong in having sex with a good friend. I’ve done it lots of times. It can be reassuring and comforting. But at times it can feel awkward afterwards.
But the time has come to haveca serious conversation with him and decide where you go from here.
I would love to have that chat - but whereas before the communication was pretty regular, last few days it has tailed off to nothing - doesn't that mean that the message is clear and there is no point in asking?
I must admit to being a bit gutted as well as he gave impression of being interested in more. Think I have just been a bit naive
Who knows what it means. But you might be both sitting there waiting for something from each other. Once you know exactly where you stand you can move on from there.
All I can add is that in my experience, there is no such thing as too enthusiastic.
My sexual career has been thwarted by lack of enthusiasm which is dispiriting, off putting and an actually turn off.
Nothing worse that a woman who is too passive and doesn't display any want, need, lust, desire, passion etc.
You go girl.
As CinfusedDH has said, you simply cannot be too enthusiastic when it comes to sex. There will be other reasons for the way he is behaving, but I don't think it is you, or your lust.
I suspect of all the possible reasons, the least likely of all is your performance in bed. I doubt any man in the history of sex has ever said "she was shit in the sack, far too enthusiastic for my liking".
He may be waiting for you to make contact, he may just want it to have been a couple of no-strings sessions and is backing off to avoid it developing further, he may be busy, he may have met somebody else. The only way you will find out is to communicate with him. Get in touch and tell him how you feel and what you want. Be honest rather than playing games and telling him what you think he wants to hear. If you are looking for something more serious, tell him. Equally, if you are happy with an occasional FWB situation if that's all he wants, tell him that too. You're both adults, you've exchanged bodily fluids, surely you can exchange a few words without dying of the cringe?
You are all correct, of course. I thought maybe being too eager was a turn off 😬
Think I just have to woman up and ask, at least I know where I stand etc and can move on if not wanted!
...that's just my low self esteem talking though 😂
Yes @tootruetobegood I don't really know why I am so concerned about being embarrassed or weird in asking for clarity...maybe because it's to do with emotions and being "liked" or "wanted" rather than just having sex..
Anyway, I have asked and await a response.