Naked sex

(23 Posts)
Pixieb34 Thu 04-Apr-19 15:40:42

How important is this to people?

My partner never attempts to get me naked during sex. I wear a slip for bed and this always stays on. I did get naked a few times in the early days of our relationship (I undressed myself) but he’s never bothered to do it.
In fact, he has only ever really seen me naked the few times we’ve showered together and shows no interest in my body really.
We have sex often and he spends a lot of time on clitoral stimulation but he never really touches my breasts or any other part of my body.

I’m thinking he really doesn’t find my body attractive and is avoiding seeing me. He’s made comments about how he doesn’t find bigger women sexy etc. I’m size 14 and have stayed the same size more or less since we met. It’s knocking my confidence a bit now.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

OP’s posts: |
GrannyHaddock Thu 04-Apr-19 16:27:35

It's understandable that you find this disappointing. Is he shy about his own body? Do you ask him to do things that you would like that would require undressing? Do you do for him the sort of things you would enjoy yourself, kissing his chest or stomach?

Pixieb34 Thu 04-Apr-19 16:44:49

Thank you for your response GrannyHaddock...
He’s not remotely shy about his own body no and is always naked when we have sex, sleeps naked too.
I have mentioned about kissing and touch but maybe I didn’t make my feelings clear...l just feel a bit insecure about it now to mention it again.
I do those things for him yes, and I am disappointed it’s not reciprocated.
I do have a mum tum, which I don’t like (who does?!) and I’m not one for being naked often, but I just hoped he’d be interested in all of me while having sex.

OP’s posts: |
StarlightLady Thu 04-Apr-19 17:14:00

Ditch the slip!

You have sex often; this is not tge sign of someone not finding you attractive. He can find your clitty without a map or a sat nav. Next time you have sex, as you start to get friendly just pull the slip off. Guide his hands to where you want him to go.

If you are having night time sex, unless you are cold leave the slip off and snuggle together afterwards. If you are having the luxury of pre-dinner sex, stay naked for longer afterwards.

Communicate! If not by talking, let your hands say it all.

Best wishes. x

Pixieb34 Thu 04-Apr-19 19:38:00

Thanks StarlightLady...good advice!
I’m definitely going to try and ditch the slip! Like you say, communication is the key, and a bit more confidence in myself!

OP’s posts: |
NameChangeNugget Thu 04-Apr-19 22:51:58

I always keep my hold ups on, I feel so sexy in them. And I like jumping onto DH, when he’s still wearing his t shirt in bed. Mmmmm.

Clothes can be good OP

GrannyHaddock Fri 05-Apr-19 11:31:13

As Starlight says, removing the slip is the first thing to try. He might have been thinking that you prefer to stay covered up. generally like to explore, even, or especially under clothing. It can be sexy being touched over clothing to start with. Maybe he's just not a boob man, in which case not much will change.


SkinnyPete Fri 05-Apr-19 11:49:04

I reckon your fellah has either a lack of confidence with certain things, or he's got the wrong impression there's things you don't like and is just going with it.

Communication is key on both counts. Either verbally or physically (guide him).

You're having sex often, so it's not a lack of desirability on both your parts.

Good luck and have fun 😊

Christian77 Fri 05-Apr-19 20:48:33

Keep your kit on, girls and boys. It’s much better that way! Naked bodies, the vast majority anyway, are pretty disgusting things. Think swimming pool changing rooms and I’m sure you’ll get my drift!

StarlightLady Fri 05-Apr-19 21:49:11

Christian77: Keep your kit on for sex? Are you some weird religion or something? Sex should be naked and passionate. Keeping my kit on for sex is a non starter in my book.

I am not ashamed of my body. Nor do l have sex in the pool changing room. The comparison is ridiculous.

Pixieb34 Fri 05-Apr-19 22:28:16

Totally agree StarlightLady!!
I get the clothing/sexy underwear thing too but if you’re having sex then part of it is appreciating your partners body!!

I’m yet to try it out (have done previously but currently have issues!) lacking in confusing now is an understatement!!

OP’s posts: |
Pixieb34 Fri 05-Apr-19 22:29:13

*confidence not confusing!!

OP’s posts: |
Christian77 Sat 06-Apr-19 07:27:12

StarLight, the thing you don’t seem to realise is that lots of people prefer a partially clothed, passionate, spontaneous session. I certainly do.
By the way, I didn’t mention having sex in changing rooms, you did.....I was referring to the gross bodies often on full, unashamed display there. Not nice.

StarlightLady Sat 06-Apr-19 07:41:19

Christian77: Thank you for explaining what I don’t seem to realise, otherwise where would I be.

The OP clearly stated that she wanted confidence for naked sex. From my experience as a sexually active woman, clothing gets in the way during sex.

Sex in pool changing rooms? You take things very litterally don’t you? I wasn’t suggesting any do this or should do this. I was merely pointing out that the scenario in a pool changing room is totally different to a sexual situation at home.

By the way, changing rooms are not beauty competitions and attitudes like yours about other’s bodies don’t help anyone.

Blokenamechangesexboard Sat 06-Apr-19 07:57:29

Maybe he likes you with the slip on? It sounds romantic. And size 14 is hardly big.

Is it possible that he'd like you to dress up in other ways but is too shy to ask?

I suggest that if you want him to touch your body a bit more, ask him.

Christian77 Sat 06-Apr-19 14:05:25

StarLight, it would appear that I and the OP’s partner, two name but two, disagree with you: visual stimuli are powerful, whether in arousing or, going the other way, turning off.
I am sure that I am not alone in finding some bodies repellent, almost offensive. This is probably closely linked to a lack of decorum and self respect displayed by some people, and their lack of respect and consideration for others. You have your opinion, that doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Do, though, have the courtesy to allow me to have mine, without extending veiled insults and judgments.

Christian77 Sat 06-Apr-19 14:06:54 name but two...

Pixieb34 Sat 06-Apr-19 15:13:24

Christian77, you are completely entitled to your opinion, of course.
Unfortunately for me, if it’s the case that my partner finds my body repellent then I would be in the wrong relationship, and so would he. If he found anything about me repellent then that’s not love is it?!

OP’s posts: |
StarlightLady Sat 06-Apr-19 16:29:30


Veiled insults? Judgements? I made body positive comments. I wanted to help the OP.

l do not know your age or gender but body shaming others at a pool is not, in my view, the way to increase body confidence in the OP. You don’t have to look at someone’s body if you don’t want to.

MN should be about helping people.
And the title of the thread was “Naked Sex”, not why should l remain clothed for sex.

Christian77 Sat 06-Apr-19 17:41:08

Have a nice evening!

ForalltheSaints Sat 13-Apr-19 16:20:06

I've never had sex with any clothes on and neither has anyone when having sex with me. Absolutely vital to me.

spritesobright Mon 15-Apr-19 20:35:16

Absolutely one of the nicest things about sex is the closeness of two naked bodies.
Bodies are not repellent and for those who find them so, that's their issue!

DoNotWorry Tue 16-Apr-19 09:21:45


Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in