How to give a good blow job

(22 Posts)
ismellnice Wed 05-Sep-18 18:00:46

Been with my new bf for a while now, after being single for so long, and I want to surprise him. Please help me...

OP’s posts: |
dilly123 Wed 05-Sep-18 18:13:33

Go online & look for porn clips to watch it will give you the idea minus the spitting & deep throat/gagging unless you want that... that's how I learnt the craft!! 🤣🤣

StressedGuy Wed 05-Sep-18 19:47:27

Everyone is different and will apreciate different things.

For me, the absolute number one factor, way above any other element is enthusiasm. Doing it because you really want to, because you really enjoy it. This is the biggest turn on for me.

A woman might be able to suck start a Harley, but if she's just going through the motions and hoping it'll be over soon, lazily going about it like some kind of chore, there will be no happy ending.

noego Wed 05-Sep-18 19:55:11

Don't blow

Joey7t8 Wed 05-Sep-18 22:28:51

No specific techniques, but @StressedGuy has the advice spot on: enthusiasm!

Anotherblokelurking Sat 08-Sep-18 07:29:47

Don't blow He will if she gets it right! 😁

DiamondsInTheMud Sun 09-Sep-18 00:49:00

A little trick that I do which seems to go down well is to flick your tongue across the tip of the penis when you are at that point of the movement. Seems to be enjoyed. .

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MarieG10 Sun 09-Sep-18 14:17:55

Agree with Diamond re flicking your tongue across it. My husband also loves to see me looking at his face when I do... seems to really arouse him

subspace Sun 09-Sep-18 14:28:30

Yes, make eye contact, and behave add I'd you're really enjoying it. Fondle, lick, suck balls too. Put your hands around the base of his penis then you'll be in control of how deep it goes into your mouth. Explore the whole thing with your tongue.

BusyDoingLittle Sun 09-Sep-18 22:00:38

Enthusiasm is #1. Make him believe you LOVE doing it.

Plenty of tongue, like it's an ice cream, before you start sucking.

Touch yourself while you're doing it. Gasp and moan a little bit while he's in your mouth.

Don't rush. Settle in for a bit longer than normal.

And definitely swallow.

Anotherblokelurking Mon 10-Sep-18 21:26:51

Most men would like you to swallow but most men won't be offended if you don't and pull off at the last minute and have a pearl necklace or facial instead. Do one or the other, don't let him come in your mouth then pull a face and spit it out. During my single years between DWs I had quite a few BJs but only two girls swallowed - but I enjoyed, and was grateful, for every one I got.

Favouriteworstnightmare Tue 11-Sep-18 21:25:36

Take your time, relax, occasional eye contact and plenty of tongue flicking with appreciative noises always goes down a treat!

Favouriteworstnightmare Tue 11-Sep-18 21:33:32

This reminded me of a thread on handbag many many years ago where a very nervous FWN was stepping out into dating once more and may have come across some advice that she copied and pasted and emailed to herself for future reference . Here is a extract from handbag back in 2009 which has served me well!
(Author unknown - apologies!!)

I am not the author of this...

try to enjoy it. if they know or think you love and worship their cock then they will be incredibly aroused.

secondly remember to take your time, even if he wants to rush (as so many men do) as it will increase the intensity of his orgasm the longer you make him wait for it.

thirdly - eye contact. not always easy but every now and then look up and catch his eye - practise a cheeky smile that you can do more with your eyes and cheeks than mouth (as that will be full). this eye contact suggests sexual confidence and will arouse him and remind him of his fave porn clips (if he's a fan).

then.. there are so many different ways to stimulate a penis other than just **ing it with your mouth as fast as you can.

familiarise yourself with the sensitivity of different areas. of course every man is different but basically the major clusters of nerve endings are in the same places so usually good places to lick sloooowwwwwly are the lemgth of the shaft (veins up the front particularly), the ridge around the base of his helmet, the testicles, either side of the testicles and the perinium and (if he's clean and you're brave) the anus.

in my experience the more teasing the better. work your way down there slowly. if he's an impatient headpusher, tie his hands up so you are completely in control.

kiss and lick slowly but slightly firmly on the tummy, ribs, hips, thighs, inner thigh, then in a little figure of 8 over his testicles gently. then blow gently on him to increase sensitivity.

lick from between the balls to about one inch up the shaft, then down, then up slightly higher, then down...like he was a lolly pop. make a lot of noise, make it nice and wet. say mmmmmm a lot. as you work higher he will anticipate the pleasure of you reaching his helmet where he is most sensitive...so go slowly. make him wait for it...then, when you reach the top encompass the entirety of him (or as much as you can fit) in your wet mouth and fellate him the traditional way for a while as you mmmm and he purrs with pleasure.

now...as disgusting as this sounds..you need to learn to drool. really work up tonnes of spit to make it really wet. you need to coat the whole of him. in doing so you can then use your hand to him at the same time as sucking him so that you are stimulating the whole of him at once. keep a slow steady rhythm. this is called 'gloving'. if you carry on with this alone he will probably cum fairly quickly...but don't let him yet.

make your mouth into a wide, wet O shape and place it over his helmet but don't close your lips tight around him, the O should be bigger than him, now move in circles so the inside of your mouth rubs all around the rim in slow circles.

then use your tongue to make slow circles all the way around the rim of the helmet...go clockwise for a few minutes...then switch to anticlockwise to change the sensation.

when you fellate him traditionally (up down with lips enclosing penis) add a special twist by simulataneously rubbing your tongue up the front of the shaft. you can even wiggle your tongue from side to side or as you do the 'up' strokes and your lips meet the tip you can do one quick swirl of your tongue around his helmet before going down again.

breathe onto him as you fellate him. your in breath will make him feel cooler, your out breath warmer, adding to increased sensation and sensitivity.

enhance this temp change effect if he likes it by having a cool glass of icy water next to the bed and a warm cup of tea (not hot) alternate mouthfuls every now and again and then felate him to give different sensations.

learn to alternate in perfect rhythm...slide your tongue quite firmly up his shaft from balls to tip, then go down on him for just one head bob, then lick then bob then lick then bob. drives (some) men crazy as they can't decide what they like more.

get him as wet as possible. don't be afraid to really dribble over him and do it with the naughty porn star face. then just let yourself go wild and lick him madly all over - his balls, his shaft, the back of the penis (often neglected), just kissing and licking and sucking and mmmmming as wildly as you can so he feels like you are gorging on him and loving every second.

then slow it right down and make him wait a little...kiss sooo tenderly and lick sooo gently, blow on the bits you've licked. let out your sensual side, think like a cat and rub his cock lovingly over your lips (look up and make sure he's watching you), play with it, toy with it, love it, worship it...rub your face all over it - it will be very wet by now but use your whole face to stimulate him by rubbing so gently and lovingly.

then build the pace up again. turn sideways, and purse your lips like you were going to play the flute. moisten them. then making a kissy pout run your lips along the entire length of his cock back and forth so your wet pout is stimulating the front and part of the sides of him. at the same time, his balls (which should now be coated in saliva too) will be easy to simulate with your fingers, gently rubbing in delicate circles or tugging gently in a downward motion to stimulate him and build his orgasm to a crescendo.

above all...variety, rhythm and enthusiasm...plus a lot of saliva are the key things. plus listen to the noises he makes to know what he loves most...but don't give it to him all the time. don't have a set pattern...tease him, make him wait...do what YOU want to do to his cock...so long as he knows his favourites (and his orgasm) are coming he will wait.

an aside note...deep throating. this takes practise...and a lot of love because for most women it's not comfortable. if you can't do it just take him as deep as you can comfortably once in a while to let him feel you just wanna eat him all up. but don't worry as most of the sensitivity is in the tip.

deep throating...this is easiest from a sort of 69 position with woman on top so your head is the other way up to his cock. you have to learn to open and relax the back of your throat and have your head tipped back like a sword swallower. it takes practise to do this without gagging..but the few times i have managed it the rewards have been so massive that it makes me want to keep trying. practise makes perfect.

his orgasm. when you feel him building to orgasm (and you think he deserves it) then keep the rhythm, don't forget to add to the pleasure by gently rubbing his balls, perinium or anus with gentle moistened fingers (you don't poke, just stimulate the outside). pressing gently on the perinium stimulates the male g-spot aka the prostate gland.

some very special men can do a sort of tantric trick with their orgasm (with your help). if they feel their orgasm coming...just before it feels like it's happening they should tell you stop...stop moving, but keep your mouth open...a small amount of semen is usually ejaculated and a mini orgasm takes place but wait a few seconds (10-15 should do it with practise) and then fellate him again...then do the stopping thing again when he tells you he is on the cusp. then start again. you can go on as long as his balls aren't aching but i find 3 orgasms are most men's limits (without a little break anyway)...and the 3rd is the most intense powerful and fantastic and neither of you holds anything back. make sure you make excited encouraging appreciative noises so he knows (or thinks) you are loving it. and when he comes let him come deep in your mouth for some of it, and then open you mouth slightly and hold your tongue just under his helmet as you him to finish his orgasm over your lips and tongue so he can watch it dribbling over you. look up with a cheeky smile, swallow, purr like you've just had a mouthful of chocolate...then move up and kiss him gently and lie together so he can sleep. He will need to. so will you...the next time it had better bloody well be your turn.

StressedGuy Tue 11-Sep-18 21:58:29

A very interesting post ^.

A few observations, if I may?

I personally have never met a woman even remotely that keen to put THAT much thought, time and effort into giving a blow job. All power to the author if she is that giving.

Spit - not everyone likes it, especially in excess. Yes, we need to avoid dry, but some blokes find excess saliva, drool and general spit/slobber off putting, me included.

Anal play - again, not all blokes enjoy or appreciate this. If a woman started playing with my ring unannounced, I'd ask her to stop and it certainly wouldn't turn me on. Nothing wrong with it, but best not assume it's a given pleasure spot. It won't be in every case.

Sensitivity - much of the above theory seems based on the female perception that the penis is hyper sensitive like an exposed clitoris - it isn't. Even the head isn't that sensitive a lot of the time, as the nerve endings are not concentrated in a tiny area like with a clit, they're spread out over a wider area. Yes, feeling tongue go up and down the shaft, or around the balls etc will feel nice, in the same way it would feel nice on the side of your neck for instance but it isn't an 'orgasmic nice' necessarily and wouldn't lead to orgasm for most men unless they are sex deprived and suffer from serious PE.

Tormenting and orgasm delay - that will only work if you can get them there in the first place. With some men, if you dance around the issue in a teasing kind of way, the orgasm train might not even leave the station and you'll be there all night. I read that when performing oral on a woman, when things get going, consistency and 'don't change a thing' becomes a factor. Men can be the same. It can take a lot of consistent, firm stimulation to get orgasmic feelings to develop. If you keep stopping, they simply won't build up.

Ultimately, the head of penis needs firm, lubricated, rhythmic and consistent massage, exactly like it receives from the walls of the vagina during intercourse.

I'm not saying that the suggested techniques won't be really appreciated by most men lucky enough to have a partner that cares enough to bother whilst being too tired, too busy, worrying about the kids, needing to be up for work the next day, stressed from her job, suffering low libido, feeling pressured for sex, resentful for lack of housework imbalance (delete as applicable) etc, but Id be careful treating it as a defined instruction manual.

One size does not fit all and what one man enjoys, another may not.

Also, just like on the oral being a bit 'meh' thread, some men find blow jobs a bit take it or leave it, irrespective of how accomplished and willing the giver is.

PoxAlert Wed 12-Sep-18 13:25:18

Just try lots of different things.

I know when my DH finds something really good as I feel his penis jump/pulse. So whatever has made that happen I repeat.

Normally it's to do with sucking/using my tongue below the underside of the head of his penis.

I never see the need to deep throat much as it's the top that's sensitive so I tend to use my hand lower down and only take a few inches in my mouth. Makes it much more enjoyable for me that way too.

xpc316e Thu 13-Sep-18 09:27:58

As usual, there has been a wide variety of views expressed on this particular topic. I'd like to add my 2 cents worth, but it seems as though I am in something of a minority.

For me, being taken deep into the throat is a magical experience. I have only known a couple of people who had truly overcome their gag reflex, but they were so good at fellating me. One had the ability to use swallowing motions in her throat to virtually milk my penis into orgasm.

I would thoroughly recommend working on suppressing your gag reflex if you want to give a top class blow job. The other thing is to use the mouth alone and not touch the penis with hands at any time.

Ss770640 Mon 01-Oct-18 17:44:05

Simply ask him what he wants.

If he stalls, then view porn to get some tips

debs307 Tue 02-Oct-18 01:47:17

Dont neglect the balls - hand and tongue (better if they are shaved!)

clockworklime Tue 02-Oct-18 22:34:46

I always shave my hands and tongue before giving blowjobs

Anotherblokelurking Wed 03-Oct-18 22:49:14

grin

wishywashy6 Sun 07-Oct-18 23:24:22

All of the above. Plus just to add my 2pennies worth:
If you practice shoving it down your gob enough deep throating gets easier. My gag reflex is virtually non existent these days 😳

Stick your tongue up his bum

Lots of eye contact

Balls balls balls - lick, suck, play

Enjoy it. The more you love it, the more he will.

grin

xpc316e Mon 08-Oct-18 16:16:55

I agree with wishywashy6; the balls tend to be neglected by a lot people, so please remember to fondle the boys.

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