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Is it possible to separate love and sexual attraction?

8 replies

confusedandemployed · 16/12/2017 01:16

Been seeing a guy. Fancy the arse off him and I have good reason to believe it's mutual.
Neither of us are quite ready for more than "knocking about" together although neither of us have eyes for anyone else either. We both have children, good relationship with exes .
I don't love him, but I know I'm on my way. How do you stop that inevitable tide? I'm pretty sure he's not ready for that. Not sure I am for that matter, but what's the middle man?

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MiddleClassProblem · 16/12/2017 01:19

I’m not sure you can stop your feelings so easily. It is what it is. Maybe find out is shit habits at home like always waiting for things to run out before replacing it, toilet seat up, doesn’t clean the bathroom, picks his nose and flicks it...

That might slow you down Grin

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TheNaze73 · 16/12/2017 09:26

I find seperating the two very easy.

They’re two different things

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JustAnIdiot · 16/12/2017 11:46

Agree, completely different. I can easily separate the two.

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Joey7t8 · 16/12/2017 19:50

It's fairly easy for men.

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lostincumbria · 16/12/2017 23:23

Depends on the man, joey. Or the woman. Some people can, some can't.

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slothface · 16/12/2017 23:25

Yes, I can definitely fancy or want to sleep with someone without loving them. I couldn't love someone without fancying them though. But if the feelings are creeping in I don't think you can stop them. If you want more and he doesn't, it might be time to end it as casual things can only work if both parties feel emotionally unattached

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MiddleClassProblem · 17/12/2017 00:21

Btw my answer was you your final question not your title question which was very different.

Of course they are different. If I loved everyone I found sexually attractive then I would probably be writing for Janes Blunt...

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bridgetoc · 17/12/2017 21:33

I've never had a problem separating sex and love, and still don't even though I'm married. I love my DH to bits, and I have a great sexual relationship with my BF. He is amazing in bed, and I like him, but I do not love him and never will.

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