Splitting during Sex

[landgirl1]

I have a problem & it’s ruining our sex life. When DH penetrates me my vulva tears & it’s absolute agony & I am desperate to find a solution.

Previous history is 5 years ago I had a Fenton procedure that removed most of the damaged area around my vulva/ labia including reshaping from a V to a U . It healed really well but I developed vaginisimus to the point where even a finger is a struggle :( I have used the amielle trainers and lots of different lubricants. There’s just one tiny area that still rips , it’s agony like a paper cut, it bleeds & stings for hours & will take a week to completely heal.I really want to have sex with my lovely DH :( it took years to convince my gp to refer me & smear tests are torture. I’ve been trying to find a local anaesthetic that atleast would let me have sex & deal with the damage later but that’s going to cause even more scar tissue.

I would be so grateful if anyone has any ideas before I become a 40yr old nun :(

[user1471449340]

You can ask your GP for a prescription for Instillagel - an anaesthetic lubricant. If it is applied to the vulva four minutes before sex 80% of women report a significant improvement in pain.

[user1499786242]

Lidocaine ointment! 5% Get it from your gp!!
Rub a small amount on your fingers to warm it up then rub it on the sore part
Leave for a few minutes and it will help numb the area
Partner may want to use a condom as it could numb his parts too
Also use YES water based lube, you can get this on prescription or from amazon :)

[JustAnIdiot]

Agree with instillagel or lidocaine - ask your GP.

Also oestrogen cream might help - again from GP.

If GP not convinced, see a different one.

[hopingandprayingthistime]

You may have lycensclerois - worth getting that checked out because if you do have it and leave it untreated after Fenton’s procedure, the tearing will keep recurring. Good luck OP, you have my sympathy x

[mickhucknallspinkpancakes]

I concur with @hopingandprayingthistime - I have this and it seems very difficult to diagnose but finally I have a gynaecologist that agreed.

I have to rub a steroid cream on the area 2-3 times a week. I'm not in the UK but mine is called Dermovate Salba - I sure there is an alternative for you.

[landgirl1]

Thank you all so much for your replies, I have the steroid cream as I have a small amount of lycensclerosis which has helped that but not the splitting. My last post op appointment with the surgeon, he commented that that part was not healing as well as the rest of it but felt it would settle in time.

I’m struggling to convince my gp to send me back (maybe because it was a nhs funded private hospital proceedure) as I think the splitting bit is so scarred it will never heal and needs trimming back to healthy skin. Wondering if I save up & see him privately then the nhs might fund redoing that last bit.. it’s that or local anaesthetic, I’m concerned that not feeling myself ripping open isn’t a good long term option..

[Tinkerbellx]

You need a referral to a specialist .

There is such a thing as a perineal trauma clinic , usually run by a urogynae consultant .
This is potentially sortable . Poor you .
Pm me if you'd like some advise on referral ect and what to expect .

[NotTheFordType]

I had a similar problem.

3yrs with no penetrative sex sorted it. Probably not what you want to hear, sorry.

[NotTheFordType]

I just wanted to come back to this and add, it's fucking disgraceful that medical professionals just can't be bothered, and I bet if it was your partner presenting and saying "every time we have sex my foreskin splits and bleeds and it really hurts" he'd have been referred first thing

[landgirl1]

Thanks Tinkerbelle & Notthe fordtype, ive tried a year already of non penetrative sex with my DH but that didn’t stop it. I had terrible experiences with female doctors telling me to basically suck it up & lay back & think of England then saw a wonderful male gynaecologist who was fab but private (funded by nhs) & I am sure he can fix this last bit , it’s just getting to him when I haven’t the income to have the op privately.

I feel very let down especially by the females I have sought help from, like you say, if it was a bloke splitting there would probably a bit more help! Or circumcision (which as a female seems a little drastic)
Thank you for your kind words, it helps me feel less alone x

[Chocolate50]

That sounds awful. I would be asking for a 2nd opinion from a specialist you shouldn't be left like that.