Watching me masturbate

(54 Posts)
Getttingbackinthesaddle Tue 26-Sep-17 12:33:00

I've got a special night planned with new partner in a couple of weeks. It's his birthday and I want to spoil him and blow his mind grin but I'm lacking a bit in confidence having come out of a long sexless marriage.

We've only spent a few nights together and so we're still getting to know each other sexually (after a shaky start it's all lovely) but one thing he's said he'd love is for me to masturbate while he watches. Trouble is I've never really been able to masturbate to orgasm, I've come to rely on my trusty bullet too much blush so I don't quite know how best to deliver on his request and I don't really want to ask him too many questions in advance because I want to surprise him on the night!

So ideas anyone? I'm curious what Is appealing to a man about watching a woman masturbate (I guess because watching him wank would do nothing for me). Is it about seeing me bring myself to orgasm in which case using the bullet would be ok? Would it be enough if I touch myself whilst I'm on top? I defo wouldn't be comfortable with a wide legs akimbo thing with him sat on a chair eating popcorn type scenario smile. The only clues he's given as to why he likes the idea is that it shows a 'deep level of trust' and he finds the idea 'erotic'. Suggestions welcome and would appreciate a male view too.

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Brahms3rdracket Tue 26-Sep-17 12:44:06

It's quite a big thing at the start of a sexual relationship and requires a level of trust and intimacy you won't have had a chance to build yet. I would start touching yourself when you're dtd, while doing it doggy for instance.

I would worry about changing your style to suit his viewing if you fancy going for it though. He needs to know what really does it for you, so adapting for an audience would be futile. Use your bullet if that's what does it for you, or use it while you're with him. Men often enjoy the buzz too remember.

HughLauriesStubble Tue 26-Sep-17 12:48:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Getttingbackinthesaddle Tue 26-Sep-17 12:51:06

Thanks Brahms. I think cos we've known each other a long time outside of our new relationship that the trust is already there but it's the deeper intimacy that needs to be developed.

I'm totally comfortable with the idea of it as I type this but maybe in the moment I'll be a bit shy so your advice to incorporate it into something we're doing together sounds like a good starting point. It's not sonething I've done with a partner that's all so was mostly curious what the attraction was for him.

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Getttingbackinthesaddle Tue 26-Sep-17 12:53:05

Thanks Hugh too. Interesting that you both think it's something that normally comes later in a relationship. I've just had another thought too which is that it often takes me ages so he might fall asleep before I've finished shock

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Brahms3rdracket Tue 26-Sep-17 12:57:34

It's a lot less pressured if you do it together and watch each other.

BTW I've been with DP for 23 years and never done it in front of him to completion, that would be a boring, long event grin.

Getttingbackinthesaddle Tue 26-Sep-17 13:15:45

Ha ha. Not sure why that aspect of it didn't occur to me till now smile. I don't feel any great pressure to put on a performance just would love to be able to do something he's said he would like to make it a special and memorable night

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Ineedmorelemonpledge Tue 26-Sep-17 17:14:22

I think he wants to share how you do it op. It's a way of seeing you at your most intimate, what you get up to in your secret moment. So if you use a bullet, or have a whole toybox then use them!

My DP asked for this, and he learnt a lot on how I like to be touched as opposed to how he was thinking. I think he'll probably be engaged in pleasuring himself at the same time, so he won't get popcorn on the bed!!!

Getttingbackinthesaddle Tue 26-Sep-17 18:14:10

Good news on the popcorn Pledge wink
The idea of him wanking whilst I pleasure myself does nothing for me. I'd far rather we were doing things to/with each other but maybe I'll surprise myself. I've ordered a new bullet vibe and will take that along and hopefully have lots of fun tbusmile

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Justdontknow4321 Tue 26-Sep-17 20:13:55

Iv done this, and I use a sex toy (magic wand) ... he normally only watches for a couple minutes before he starts kissing me and sometimes I let him take over x

MeetMeInMontauk Tue 26-Sep-17 21:08:08

Guy opinion, only because it was asked for - yes, the appeal will be (as he's mentioned) the trust aspect and, what with masturbation usually being a private act, there is an element of voyeurism in there too. But mostly it is about being 'accepted' totally by a partner and hence being privy to it. I wouldn't go through with it so soon (or indeed at all) if it makes you uncomfortable though, it is by definition something very intimate. As others have suggested, maybe discuss and work up to it if you want to?

SnowBallsAreHere Tue 26-Sep-17 21:10:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Getttingbackinthesaddle Tue 26-Sep-17 21:29:08

Thanks MeetMe for a male perspective on this. I feel confident that I can introduce an element of this into our night together and will just see how I feel at the time as to how far I take it. I'd hope that he'd join in fairly quickly as Justdontknow suggested her DP does. We shall see!

SnowBalls are you suggesting that so I can improve my technique so might not need the vibe or so I can put on more of a show? Either way I'll check it out wink

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lostincumbria Wed 27-Sep-17 07:50:18

I absolutely love watching, but I 'm not expecting my DW to put on "a show". Sometimes she does it as a tease, sometimes it's more of a morning after thing so we're not banging about with the kids downstairs ;-)

Getttingbackinthesaddle Wed 27-Sep-17 20:36:52

Thanks lostincumbria what is it that you love about it if you don't mind me asking? Just curious whether it's the trust and intimacy aspects for you too or is it about watching your DW become aroused?

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kissmethere Thu 28-Sep-17 13:17:53

I do this for DH and he loves it. I never have to finish as he literally can't wait to finish off with giving me oral or getting inside me (sorry tmi)
And we're usually both too turned on to hold back much longer.
It's definitely voyeurism(?)
Your popcorn comment made me 😂.
I'm sure you'll have a great night and he'll love it.

Getttingbackinthesaddle Thu 28-Sep-17 14:39:39

Thanks kissme. I'm hoping for a similar ending grin

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lostincumbria Thu 28-Sep-17 19:26:59

Hi GBITS - I'm think it's seeing her at her most exposed and thoroughly turned on. It's seeing the most intimate and private act. For her, it's because she likes having more orgasms than I have! smile

Getttingbackinthesaddle Thu 28-Sep-17 21:29:35

Thanks lostincumbria smile

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Guiltypleasures001 Fri 29-Sep-17 01:06:13

As a side note op

If you don't want to be seen in light legs akimbo, you could turn off the lights and use a torch, he only sees your hand and your bits, you flick torch on and off, each time giving him a different view or item used for masterbating

You could also go between shots of boobs and nipple play then light off and back to vag grin

Guiltypleasures001 Fri 29-Sep-17 01:07:12

Oh and tie him to the bed, then when you've finished ride him to orgasm shock

Getttingbackinthesaddle Fri 29-Sep-17 11:35:43

I admire your inventiveness Guiltypleasures but that sounds like too much multi-tasking to me shock Can imagine I'd get in a right fluster trying to coordinate my torch my body position and my bullet vibe. Think the end result would be comical rather than sexy (and he'd probably drop his popcorn whilst trying to help me retrieve the torch from where it's rolled under the bed gringringrin

Second idea much more promising but perhaps not for my first time wink

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Man1974 Fri 29-Sep-17 20:39:49

I appreciate it’s early days for you two, but for my birthday I would like to watch her masturbate, with or without a bullet. And ask me to fuck her mouth.

But that’s just me. grin

Getttingbackinthesaddle Fri 29-Sep-17 21:31:00

shock

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Brahms3rdracket Fri 29-Sep-17 21:32:19

Oh my! shock

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