horrible vagina

(4 Posts)
lalalalalalalalalal Fri 15-Sep-17 19:10:29

I really dislike my vagina and since giving birth I dislike it even more. It feels all stretched and bumpy and I can't even bare to touch myself.or be touched.
I've been to see gynaecologists and they say everything is normal. I've been to women's physio as I suffer from urgency and stress incontinence. I have really bad pelvic floor muscles although the nurse said she had seen worse. Whilst seeing her things improved I was prescribed mirabergon for my urine problems and she made me feel confident but recently I've started leaking more especially when I sneeze. I have a vaginal tens machine which I've started using again and I've been using it on and off for 3 years but I fear it makes me have loss of sensation inside my vaginal walls. I have a new partner and we've been together for 5 months. We both live very busy lives and he never stays over as I share a bed with my daughter(she has her own bed but always sneaks into mine) and I don't stay over there due to lack of childcare. So there hasn't been any place to get intimate which is a relief as I don't want him to touch my vagina and not like it as I feel it is too stretched due to childbirth also I feel my vaginal lips are too big and I fear i smell of urine due to the incontinence and also I could never let him lick me there. I'm so ashamed and I don't feel sexy in the slightest but I do love my partner and I would like to make love with him one day and sex is such a big part of a relationship. I used to be a very sexual person and I wish I could be that confident person I used to be.

OP’s posts: |
Eleanorsummer Sat 16-Sep-17 12:09:25

I think you should go back to your doctors about the incontinence, it isn't something you should have to put up with.
I am sure your vulva looks normal and isn't ugly. Most men don't really care what it looks like anyway as not like dicks are beautiful either.

stilllearnin Wed 20-Sep-17 11:29:15

I sympathise- a lot! I have similar issues. I have problems with keeping poo in due to childbirth/ tears and episiotomies.

I also had no sensation at all (I can't even masturbate!) UNTIL I met dp. He says he was never worried about my claims of numbness and a useless vagina.

We connect emotionally and sexually. He has magic fingers. Sorry if tmi but this is the sex board - I have massive frequent orgasms. We have a fantastic sex life and I can feel him inside me (some positions are better than others- me on top is divine). There is a dead spot but we just shift a bit and he has pretty much learned where it is.

I do know what you mean about the look and also oral sex. I have to have a shower first because I can't risk him coming across any debris. But those things really are psychological and we can learn to accept those feelings and quieten them down during the deed.

Dp says he has a female friend with MS - she has no sensation in her genitals but eventually found a man that turned her on- connected with her mind and allowed her to enjoy sex. Please don't rule it out- I never thought It would be possible for me.

stilllearnin Wed 20-Sep-17 11:32:08

Just reread your post. Go back to the physio and perhaps be really honest about your feelings. Is it possible to be so stretched from childbirth? I kind of doubt it. You deserve a good sex life. I'm sure it is possible.

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