Taking some pressure off?

[Happiness2017]

Mumsnetters, me and my partner have fallen into a trap that I need to change.

He does all of the work and it has been that way for at least 6 months. I just lack confidence when I'm on top, I don't really know what to do?

I try do some movements in other positions but ultimately I don't do any of the work.

He has made jokes previously about it, (never to put me down, that's not in his nature) and I know he feels a sense of achievement when he's done a good job but I would like to change it up sometimes.

Any advice??

[Brahms3rdracket]

How about role play to put you at ease? Playing another part can sometimes help take the pressure off and loosen the inhibitions.

Don't put pressure on yourself to go on top and stay there for the duration too. Swapping around and trying a few different positions can be fun too. Ask him if he has any suggestions he wants to try out. Getting out of bedroom can be a good way to get out of the usual routine.

[maccax]

Happiness,
What changed 6 months ago?

[Happiness2017]

I've thought about role play, but again I lack the confidence. Once you're in it, it's different but its starting.

Nothing changed, I just enjoy it when he's in control in the bedroom, but I'm becoming a bit of a selfish lover I suppose.

[Brahms3rdracket]

I completely relate to enjoying my partner being dominant but still like to put an effort in. How about if he asks, or even orders you to perform? He'd still be controlling things but directing you.

I'd still recommend role play and a bit of dressing up though. It works well for us.

Remember it's meant to be fun OP. He's with you because he fancies you - stop worrying what you look like and let yourself go.

[DevilMakesWork]

This is a little blunt, but the solution to your problem is more blow jobs. Sexy, unexpected, naughty blow jobs. I guarantee if you're getting him off that way then he won't care at all about who "does the work" during penetrative sex.

[Happiness2017]

There are plenty of blow jobs, not even a second thought given. I enjoy doing it to him, I get off on doing it. But again, with that I enjoy it more when he holds my head and thrusts.

I could mention him telling me what to, that sounds fun and could be quite sexy.

I know he's with me because he fancies me, but how do I build the confidence to go with that?

[badbob1968]

As A bloke I find nothing sexier than a confident woman. It is all about practice though. The more you do it the easier it becomes. First time it might feel forced or stilted but the next less so, and so on and so on. Ultimately you will wonder why you were worried. As other posters have said just let yourself go (easier said than done I know). Role play isn't for everyone I know so don't if it's not for you. Try not to put any undo pressure on yourself and next time you're feeling that you're not doing enough suggest a change of position where you ride him or need to put in more input. As I say first time might not go as well as you hope but it will come (forgive the pun).
So take things easy and at a pace you're happy with. Most of all just have fun with it or it won't change anything!

[2littlemoos]

OP with regards to building your confidence to go on top I am going through similar. When I was first with DP he fell asleep once whilst I was on top and it knocked me really bad. He'd had a fair bit to drink and it was very late but I am a sensitive soul and have taken in forward with me.

However I do go on top, although he has had to coax me into it but I do find that once he starts with some mouth nipple play and caressing my bum I instantly melt and forget about feeling awkward and useless and it is very enjoyable. I also find dressing sexy makes me feel more confident so maybe give those a try and if he doesn't already then encourage him to be hands on (and mouth) while you're on top. It is getting easier and easier for me.

With regards to the role play I completely understand the unease that comes with getting it started. Maybe you could think of some scenarios where he has to take the lead rather than you to begin with as we have done that. The more you do it the easier it will be.

I currently have a maids outfit which I am planning to wear to "clean" his manhood and this one I don't feel too nervous about starting because it's just a blowjob and that seems a little less daunting imo - probably because I am more submissive and that scenario seems quite sub.

Good luck. You'll get there.

[Ohyesiam]

You could try blind folding him. I remember Getting a real sense of freedom from doing that.