Hey guys
So. I NC for this - background for context - I have an 8 year old child from my ex fiancé. I am bi-sexual and in my life have had girlfriends as well as boyfriends. Since my ex I haven't really wanted to get involved with men again even though I still find them attractive. My longest relationship (my only one) since having my daughter was 8 months and I keep my romantic life separate from my daughter. Not sure many of that is relevant to my question though.
About 9 months ago I met a girl on POF and started dating. It's a LTR as we live about an hour apart so we usually see each other every two weeks although depending on circumstances it might be more.
When we first met we would have sex every night for the weekend we were together, sometimes initiated by her sometimes by me.
I don't think she has the highest sex drive - before me she hadn't had sex for 5 years not through choice and she definately missed it, she'd been single for so long and seemed quite into it when together and seemed to enjoy it.
Lately when we see each other after a period apart she doesn't seem interested in sex so we don't have it or maybe just once over a period of 3 days and usually on the last night. Normally that wouldn't bother me as that can be seen as frequent but we've only been exclusively together for 6 months, (9 months dating) and see each other so rarely. Surely there should be more of a desire to have sex bearing in mind the following - that you've been apart for a while, that you're in the early throes of a relationship and given we had a lot of sex at the very beginning.
I do make moves but as soon as I see she's not interested I let it go but it's starting to hit my confidence a bit.
Classic example is this week, we haven't seen each other for 2-3 weeks and she is here for the long bank holiday weekend. After this weekend due to upcoming events holidays etc we won't he seeing each other for a month. She hasn't been interested in sex on either evenings so far or mornings , daytime etc. She goes to bed when she's shattered so as soon as her head hits the pillow she makes it clear she is knackered. I don't push it. Last night I actually asked her why she doesn't want to have sex anymore. She said she just isn't in the mood. I did say this is what you kinda expect a year or two into a relationship but not after 6 months and she just said it's happened early for us then.
I feel like a dirty old man when I write this lol but it's not so much the sex that is bothering me but I am a worrier and a thinker and I'm starting to think of possible explanations. The only two I could come up with are she doesn't find me sexually attractive or the sex is not good for her. I am very self conscious as it is. It kills my desire to have sex with her because I feel she doesn't really want it.
I haven't pushed it, I just am a bit confused given how it was for us at a few months ago.
Am I being a twat? Prepared to be told that.
Thanks for reading xx
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Is it me?
5 replies
notaperv · 28/05/2017 09:54
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