Help me decide

(15 Posts)
mydshines Thu 11-May-17 20:52:04

I was in a relationship with a cold emotional deranged man for a years. The first year was great. But our sex life was dire. Manly he wasn't big, barely did it, made me feel bad for wanting it. Especially when I made an effort. Anyway we our finished. And I was chatting to this man had 2 dates already. With him.
He knows that I was in a heavy relationship. And neither of us wants that.
OK on Sunday we are due to meet again I have babysitter on standby.
He wants to cook me dinner and err give me dessert. And if doesn't happen that night I won't see him again for 6 weeks.
I really want him to make love with me but I feel like this wronged woman
Also I can't have sex with someone that I don't have a spark . But I have a spark with him. But I haven't had sex in over a year and I guess I am afraid
Plus I have a belly.

OP’s posts: |
Gallavich Thu 11-May-17 20:54:51

Well...your belly doesn't matter at all and if you feel like it, have some fun!

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Thu 11-May-17 20:54:52

If you want to have sex then have sex. You're a grown up. Just be sensible about it (use contraception etc.)

If you have a belly- he has met you, he already knows what you look like and so if he still wants to date you then it cant be a problem for him.

mydshines Thu 11-May-17 20:56:31

He is also I say experienced. And if we do it we will practice safe sex. But I'm also scared of diseases.
It's been so long since I had it. He been so upfront about not us not seeing each afters for 6.weeks. which shown me he is honest. I have only slept with 2 man in my life and neither were any good

OP’s posts: |
TrollTheRespawnJeremy Thu 11-May-17 20:58:37

Just take it for what it is then. If he's experienced and you feel like you're not then perhaps he can show you the ropes.

Just make your ground rules clear - safe, consensual sex and have a good night.

ALaughAMinute Thu 11-May-17 21:58:49

It doesn't sound as if you're ready to have sex with this man just yet. I'd leave it a while if I were you.

TheNaze73 Fri 12-May-17 07:56:55

Don't be deluded into thinking you'll be 'making love' after 2 dates. It's a fuck

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Gallavich Fri 12-May-17 08:01:28

Sounds to me like your sex balance is in deficit. You only live once - have fun

monkeyfacegrace Fri 12-May-17 08:10:28

You won't be making love <vomit>

You'll be shagging.

It's the best fun you can have without spending money.

If you're this worried maybe you should be waiting the 6 weeks. A belly isn't going to put off a decent man. I've got a belly and I still fuck DH as much as I can grin

mydshines Sat 13-May-17 00:19:12

Thanks all I told him we are still on for Sunday and I getting my hair done on Saturday. It's not really the belly it's kinda like I haven't done the deed in ages and I know it will hurt. As it did before. I'm so nervous but I am excited

OP’s posts: |
mydshines Sat 13-May-17 00:26:18

I also have this green lingerie vest , push up bra and matching knickers.
I was thinking of wearing underneath my dress. But I don't know like its feel weird.
Like I did try to do that with my ex. Buy He wasn't bothered. And when I mentioned about our lack of sex. He run out of the room.

OP’s posts: |
Gallavich Sat 13-May-17 08:23:21

Why do you think it will hurt?

badbob1968 Sat 20-May-17 16:57:06

Just take things as slow as you want. Don't do anything you're not ready for. I am sure that your minor insecurities will prove groundless.

I can see that you have been thinking of this for a while but remain cautious. The 6 weeks thing would concern me, but you have the history so it is doesn't worry you ignore me!

ClashCityRocker Sat 20-May-17 17:03:32

Do you feel comfortable having sex with him, even if it's not necessarily going to lead anywhere? If so, go for it, try and leave your insecurities at the door and enjoy.

But it's always OK to say no, if you don't feel ready. It sounds like you've had some pretty bad experiences in the past.

OlennasWimple Sat 20-May-17 17:50:06

If you don't feel sure about it, don't do it (there's plenty of other things to do in bed that don't involve PIV)

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