He lasts way too long

(30 Posts)
yellowox Wed 10-May-17 20:06:14

I can orgasm very quickly 5 mins and I want to it to finish and sleep. Bf can happily pummel away for 45 mins and over he does edging where he gets close to orgasm then slows down how ever many times PIV can be painful when it lasts this long, I give bjs same problem and sore jaw and wrists . I have told him this so many times if he let's me control I can get him off quickly but he wants it to last longer he says.

I feel like an unpaid pornstar I'm knackered and my bits ache is this normal ? I don't mind the occasional marathon sex session but not all the time.

OP’s posts: |
pinkyredrose Wed 10-May-17 20:07:44

Who does he want to last longer for? Because it doesn't sound like you.

TDHManchester Wed 10-May-17 20:49:28

But he must surely be aware of your enjoyment and orgasm? What better than to orgasm at the same time? Maybe you need to urge him on when you want him to shoot? Just reach between his legs, cup his balls and gently massage them. Run your fingers under his balls and massage his perineum,,even tease his anus. If he doesnt shoot then,check for pulse.

BrutusMcDogface Thu 11-May-17 21:10:16

My dp does this sometimes and it's infuriating. I tell him to hurry the fuck up as it's hurting me. He doesn't want to hurt me so that works! We've been together 13 years, if that makes a difference but I like to think a loving relationship would allow you to be honest in the bedroom?

Cerberusia Thu 11-May-17 21:13:08

You really really do not have to put up with sex that is painful for you. You are not a blow-up doll. If he's hurting you or you don't like it then tell him to stop.

Quartz2208 Thu 11-May-17 21:17:50

Have you told him it's painful. If not then do if you have and he is continuing that is

Quartz2208 Thu 11-May-17 21:18:13

Awful and h is selfish


Gallavich Thu 11-May-17 21:19:52

Why does he want to last longer?
Assuming he cares about your enjoyment and comfort then he shouldn't want to keep doing this. Have you told him to stop? If you have and he carries on then he's a total twat and you should stop fucking him immediately.

busyboysmum Thu 11-May-17 21:20:22

My husband is the same. Totally puts me off initiating sex as I know it'll go on for ever!

PaintingByNumbers Thu 11-May-17 21:22:01

just stop after it starts being boring/hurting. you could always aim for multiples as well? I had a bf who could last for hours, it was great as I got to have multiples, but it takes me hours usually to reach orgasm - v envious of your five mins!

donajimena Thu 11-May-17 21:22:18

I don't know where they get this idea that pounding away like a jack hammer is anything remotely like fun.

SmokeCloak Thu 11-May-17 21:23:30

It gets so boring when it lasts so long. Can you watch the TV at the same time?

GruffaloPants Thu 11-May-17 21:25:49

Have you told him directly how you feel? I reckon plenty of guys think women want to be pounded for hours.

Theresnonamesleft Thu 11-May-17 21:31:12

Marathon sessions can be painful but I find not during, more after unless TMI ALERT, there's no lube natural or otherwise left then it's painful for both during never mind afterwards

Blossomdeary Thu 11-May-17 21:32:26

Have you got a mobile? Could you settle down to watch something on it? He might get the hint then.

DevilMakesWork Thu 11-May-17 22:09:46

I feel a little sorry for the guy...everything he has ever read or seen about sex tells him that what men SHOULD do is try to last as long as possible. That the WORST crime you can committ in bed is ejaculating too fast.

dementedma Thu 11-May-17 23:03:29

45 minutes????
I'd be bored after 5 minutes!

Gallavich Fri 12-May-17 06:26:02

Not really Devil - the point of not orgasming too soon is to make sure the woman is satisfied before you do. If men have misinterpreted that as meaning they have to keep pumping away beyond al sense and reason well after their partner has orgasms and had enough that's their issue - they should listen better and use their common sense.

Squirrelsmum Fri 12-May-17 09:36:03

Have you spoken with him? Maybe cues for when you're ready to give up?
Nothing wrong with edging, I really enjoy it and if I'm in the mood I can go over an hour before I climax, but he needs to be a bit more considerate and save the long winded sessions for his own time.

ElspethFlashman Fri 12-May-17 09:38:17

Just stop then!

Go on top and just go to the bathroom when you get bored!

TheNaze73 Fri 12-May-17 09:42:37

Could this be a frequency issue? If you're only having sex, say twice a week is he making it last as he enjoys it, so much & would want more? You both need to communicate about this. If you're happy with 5 minutes & done maybe increase the frequency? Most men normally get together with women because of sexual attraction in the first place.

alonsypot Fri 12-May-17 09:49:33

" I feel like an unpaid pornstar I'm knackered and my bits ache is this normal ?"

No. Sex shouldn't be miserable like this. He's using you to wank himself off to. Not the same at all as having a mutually satisfying experience.

AkimboLimbo Sat 13-May-17 23:05:21

There has to be a compromise here. Sex should be about mutual pleasure. You can only have good sex in a long-term relationship if you have good communication - you need to talk to each other.

scottishdiem Sun 14-May-17 16:52:44

"I can orgasm very quickly 5 mins and I want to it to finish and sleep."

And yet so many women would complain about this.

You need to find out why he wants to last so long and when he is aiming for. If he thinks is pleasurable for you then you need to correct him. If its pleasure for him, is he open to different things at different times.

You both need to find ways of finding sex pleasurable but a 5 min fumble isnt likely to be at the top of his list.

TDHManchester Tue 16-May-17 05:42:58

I think there has to be a happy medium. I will bet that far more women would feel unfulfilled and complain if for example their patner squirted through over excitement even before he enters her or shortly afterward then just rolls over to sleep?

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