Can't relax during foreplay

(8 Posts)
packofshunts Mon 10-Apr-17 08:26:25

All a bit depressing really.

I used to enjoy sex, especially oral and and other pleasuring. But over the last few years it just doesn't seem to do it for me any more
Every time DH makes a move to go down there I just can't seem to relax and quickly get him to move on. Am also paranoid for some reason about smell (not sure why, am pretty good on self-hygiene!) but I can't get that out of my head.

If I masturbate on my own it's fine, I just don't seem to enjoy it with DH and so I just rush on to full sex.

What can I do to get my confidence back and relax back into enjoying the moment? I want that closeness with DH again.

OP’s posts: |
packofshunts Mon 10-Apr-17 10:55:29


OP’s posts: |
DevilMakesWork Mon 10-Apr-17 15:05:21

Can you enjoy giving him oral? Why not try flipping things round a few times - concentrate on his pleasure and throw yourself into that. A surprise BJ is one of life's great pleasures.

packofshunts Mon 10-Apr-17 15:08:42

Yes, do enjoy giving him BJs, which he loves and gets them in plentiful supply! He does get frustrated though
that I don't want it reciprocated

OP’s posts: |
Ineedmorelemonpledge Mon 10-Apr-17 15:58:17

What if he tied you up? grin

Only half joking, if you were a little bit out of control, do you think you could relax into it, because the decision and control was taken away from you?

I was a bit like this...I think a guy generally can measure a time that he can take to orgasm, sometimes for me it's 5 minutes sometimes it's 40. I feel stressed that I might get a bit excited but not make it to the end. My partner reassures me he doesn't care and switches mouth to hands etc. Made me feel more relaxed.

noego Mon 10-Apr-17 18:07:46

Go tantric. Exploring each other in this way can arouse area's that you may not have yet discovered.

flapjackfairy Mon 10-Apr-17 18:10:49

You dont have to have oral though do you if you dont enjoy it?
I am really not a fan .
I much prefer other things tbh.


xStefx Mon 10-Apr-17 19:28:22

If your trying to hurry things up why don't you agree to have an " only oral " night :-)
That way you won't be speeding up for sex, you can give him a bj and then let him return the favour knowing that's the " end" ( no speeding up required) . Sometimes I get a bit nervous for the same reasons and I've been with dp for 7 years and I find wine helps with my inhibitions ( I'm not telling you to become an alcoholic though ) lol just a suggestion

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