Morning ladies and gents,
I have posted here a few times before but have changed name as this is such a personal topic.
I realise what I'm about to say probably sounds insane but I can't speak to anyone about it and it's killing me :(
Have been with DH for 10 years, happily married for 4. Since our first few dates we have always talked about starting a family and our future children etc and in the last few months I have come off the pill so we can start TTC. However there is a HUGE elephant in the room . We haven't had full on penetrative sex for years.... You would wonder how you manage that and it has really bothered me but he just hasn't seemed interested in sex and been very dismissive when I have tried to initiate it.
Think we both idiotically thought I would come off the pill and we would just magically start having sex and get pregnant. How ridiculous!
Anyway I have been getting really down about this. He said he had just lost his confidence and wanted me to dress up/initiate it so I did. Problem is he has a tiny willy. Sorry to say this but it's true... When it's down its barely visible/ like a small baby on an adult body, then when erect it's fuller but still small. Sorry to overshare!
So after quite a lot of work I managed to get it up but as soon as he tried to get inside me it just instantly goes flaccid again. We tried a few times but to be honest I just wanted it to be over, it was humiliating for us both.
He admitted he was worried about it and felt different and we decided we needed to go to the doctors because our common goal is to have children and that's currently not possible I don't think unless anyone can tell me otherwise from your experiences. Anyway this conversation abour going to the doctor was a couple of months ago now and nothing has happened. I didn't want to push. I understand this will be a lot more humiliating for him than me but it effects our future. I brought it up with him again yesterday and he just said he didn't feel he could go because it was just too humiliating and he couldn't face this.
I'm so desperate for a baby and have been waiting years for him to be ready. Finally he is and now we can't conceive or discuss it with anyone for help because it's such an unusual problem.
If you made it all the way to the end, thank you for reading. Feels good to vent. Any advice would be so welcome, thanks x
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Cannot tell a living soul
16 replies
Hollslou · 12/12/2016 08:02
OP posts:
mainlywingingit ·
21/01/2017 21:46
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