Being woken up

(18 Posts)
Onlyonce Wed 07-Dec-16 21:49:20

Sorry if this has been asked before but what are views on being woken up by partner wanting sex? Dp for the last few months has only initiated when I am already asleep. Hes not doing anything as such when I wake up. Just tried to wake me up because he wants sex then will start kissing me. I'm not waking up because he's already doing something iyswim.

OP’s posts: |
Yoarchie Wed 07-Dec-16 21:52:21

You tell him whether this works for you or not. He abides by your wishes.

adornorising Wed 07-Dec-16 21:52:31

Well, it's not going to help you if I tell you that I like or don't like it. What do you think about it? If you would rather not be woken up for sex (and that's perfectly understandable), have you/could you/would you tell him? Is he still doing it?

Fairylea Wed 07-Dec-16 21:53:45

If anyone woke me up for sex I would probably never speak to them again. shock Sleep is very precious to me!

If you don't like it - whatever it is- then it's not acceptable.

Onlyonce Wed 07-Dec-16 22:11:00

I don't think I would mind so much if I was just about to nod off but it's usually when I have been asleep for a couple of hours. Not sure what I think about it tbh. Can't say I feel particularly in the mood just by being woken up. A few times I've said no, others I've just accepted it

OP’s posts: |
TheNaze73 Thu 08-Dec-16 10:39:37

It's entirely up to you OP. I would happily & have done been woken up for sex however, everyone is going to have differing views on this.
The only opinion worth noting on this is your own

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 08-Dec-16 10:41:00

I don't tend to mind it but that doesn't help you! You need to decide if you're happy, and make sure he respects that. So if it's only okay for you when you've only been asleep for an hour or so, tell him that.


AkimboLimbo Thu 08-Dec-16 12:30:52

Sometimes I love it, sometimes I don't. It depends how tired I am, how horny I feel and how good his approach is!
It has never once caused any ill-feeling either way.
You need to talk to him about this as his approach doesn't seem that great for you and you really don't sound too happy about it.

Onlyonce Thu 08-Dec-16 13:21:25

Wierdly I feel like I can't talk to him about it. He's never pushed things if I have said no. Thought he might do on one occasion but he didn't. I just don't know why it has started happening now after nearly 9 years together. I know the only way to find out is to ask him. His sex drive seems to have increased lately, although last couple of weeks it has dropped off again a bit

OP’s posts: |
Branleuse Thu 08-Dec-16 13:30:52

that would really piss me off to be woken up on purpose, whether he wants sex or not. Thats not romantic or sexy

SpookyPotato Fri 09-Dec-16 08:44:17

It would annoy me but purely because I love my sleep, but sleepy sex can be nice.. If you don't like it you need to tell him, suggest that he instigates earlier in the evening!

MaryAll Fri 09-Dec-16 13:36:59

So ... why not dsicuss the matter with him and tell him it is okay to do it earlier, rather than when you are already out? I just sounds like a weird thing to me to wait for your partner to fall asleep and then initiate it, like you have a fetish for sleeping women or something ...

Onlyonce Fri 09-Dec-16 18:11:44

I hate it. I hate it. There I said it. That feels better.

OP’s posts: |
AkimboLimbo Fri 09-Dec-16 20:43:15

Then TELL him!!
If you seriously can't talk to him about it, then what kind of relationship have you got?

Rieslinger Mon 16-Jan-17 15:01:59

From my own experience I haven't woken up my dw for sex, a bit of sleepy wake up sex is nice for both of us but we are definitely conscious when one of us instigates it.

It is up to you, if you don't like it then say so but please do talk to him, connect as best you can, it might have a deeper emotional part to this.

My only thoughts are when at times we go through a quiet patch, for whatever reason, after suggesting sex a few times but been turned away from the inn I can feel quite rejected.

It might be he is coming from this pov and perhaps trying to start something whilst you are sleep is his way of not being rejected again...

I know this sounds a bit screwy and hope it helps, of course I could be completely wrong.

Good luck and I hope you sort it out!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 16-Jan-17 15:04:19

Tell him if he wants sex to initiate before bed or when you wake up NOT once you're asleep as you don't like it.

newstartamiready Mon 16-Jan-17 21:54:38

I like having sex in the middle of the night! I don't mind being woken up for sex but I hate being woken for any other reason.

I have told my partner he can always wake me for sex but don't talk to me or I will be too awake to sleep!

But if you don't like it you need to let him know! One thing I would say is I often get horny when I'm asleep so can be half asleep
And initiating sex so he might not be fully awake. Have a chat with him!

user1475253854 Mon 16-Jan-17 21:58:05

I don't like it, I'm always very grumpy when I wake up so I would not want sex.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in