Hubby doesn't like Oral

(12 Posts)
Favouriteworstnightmare Sun 23-Oct-16 05:18:39

I'm so upset, (& a little drunk so maybe hysterical!) tonight I was told that the reason I don't get oral sex is he doesn't like my smell or taste. I feel so embarrassed!! I wish he'd mentioned this years ago, as I see this being part and parcel of me (I shower daily, fresh clothes) and can't see myself ever feeling comfortable and relaxed enough to want to have sex again.

I confess that the last few months I've asked for it and usual routine is bj for him, quick finger (if I'm lucky) and a fuck - it doesn't do much for me but looks like this is my lot sad

I've not felt desired and can't remember the last time I felt that passionate need / want so this is another kick in the teeth.

Sorry for the vent. Mid 30s and stuck sad

OP’s posts: |
NaughtyRed82 Sun 23-Oct-16 05:26:34

Maybe you should start telling him that you don't like the smell and taste of him anymore then and see how he likes it........ why should you give him oral everytime during foreplay if he won't return the favour to you ever?!
You say you're lucky if even get a quick finger so sounds like he wants his oral and then just stick it in and get on with it, there's more to sex and love making than that!
Tell him you're not turned on enough/not ready/not horny enough etc and make him work for it! Don't play with him unless he's going to play with you too, not just sometimes when he feels like it otherwise you're getting nothing foreplay wise and that's half the fun of it!
And don't give him oral u less he's willing to do the same to make you happy and satisfied! Tell him it's suppose to be a two way thing, not a one sided selfish one!

FluffyFluffster Sun 23-Oct-16 06:12:48

I had an ex bf who didn't like doing it (at all, not specifically me). Personally, I think it's crap to push people into doing sexual things they're not comfortable with looking at you ex who liked butt stuff.

So in my eyes you have a couple of options, explore why he doesn't like doing it and try and find ways that might change that. Or you could work together to try more fulfilling other options of foreplay.

He sounds a bit selfish in the sex department but I've found some guys are really just entirely unaware. Hopefully he's the latter and you can teach him a few things wink

Favouriteworstnightmare Sun 23-Oct-16 10:26:45

Thanks both.

No, I would never dream of making him do something he's uncomfortable with, but I do know he's enjoyed it previously so knew it was an issue with myself.

He can be terribly selfish and after divulging that I get a kick out of taking raunchy pics and have done so resulting in 100s of pics he's still not asked to see them which is a bit of a blow to the confidence.

He's asked why I don't share my fantasies, but I have time and time again (being tied up / him choosing an outfit for me and taking vids & pics) and it's not come to fruition so to speak so what's the point. He's not taking it on board, whereas his - 3sums & sex with another couple are all he talks about.

He can get huffy if I'm not wet by the time I've finished giving him a blow job and in the last few months sex has fizzled out half way through so I find it difficult to relax.

I really found my libido a few months back and was absolutely loving it but feel that it's all been undermined now.

Oh god. I feel so shallow for worrying about my sex life 🙈

OP’s posts: |
TheNaze73 Sun 23-Oct-16 12:15:32

He sounds like a selfish twat. Withdraw the bj's which is 98% of most blokes most valuable currency in a relationship & if it doesn't improve leave. Don't be coerced into a threesome either, if it's not what you want

Ineedmorelemonpledge Mon 24-Oct-16 10:39:35

So he's pushing to hear about fantasies but ignoring the ones that don't correlate with his?

From the brief descriptions he sounds quite selfish and controlling op.

And these threesomes he's suggesting? Another woman or man? How do you feel about this suggestion?

And if you bring in another woman, and he gives her oral sex, that would be a massive slap in the face.

I can imagine how totally deflated you must feel op. If he is making it clear that he enjoyed it before and making it personal about you.

I don't like tit for tat, but I'd stop the Bj. too, tell him he smells funny there and see how he likes it.

I know it's totally revenge fantasy but I'm bisexual so I'd be tempted to agree to another woman in the bedroom, that wasn't interested in men but was interested in giving you what you need. Or just a guy.

It's indicative of bigger things so, do sadly I'd be thinking hard on whether I could spend the future with a selfish man like this, who takes pleasure and happiness but doesn't reciprocate.

And buy a Womaniser op. Treat yourself.

BolshierAryaStark Mon 24-Oct-16 12:42:48

He sounds just plain awful & so fucking selfish. He's a taker, it's up to you if you're willing to tolerate this or put an end to his bullshit.
As for the whining about you not being wet enough after giving him pleasure, really wtaf? Just pathetic, I don't know how you can stand to have him near you never mind put his cock in your mouth.

Advertisement

McBassyPants Tue 25-Oct-16 13:00:48

He's being a knob. Not just the oral thing (in fact if anything, he's bein least knobbish there. If he doesn't like it then fair enough). Did he actually say it's your taste and smell?

He is otherwise a selfish twat, you need to have it out with him. Tell him your frustration and how you feel sexually unfulfilled. If he isn't willing to change then I honestly think you need to consider leaving

CaptainCabinets Wed 26-Oct-16 00:25:21

He sounds like a dick but I'd be toddling down to the GP to make sure I didn't have BV or something if I were you! I suffer with recurring BV and it's the worst. sad

Spicy foods, onions, garlic etc can all make you smell a bit funky, too.

Greenandmighty Wed 26-Oct-16 22:34:26

Agree with what's been said here. Stop the BJs, state exactly what you need and ask him what he's prepared to give you for you to have a pleasurable sexual experience and this includes feeling desired.

Btw, what's a Womaniser (apart from obvious!)? X

Opentooffers Thu 27-Oct-16 00:21:46

You know he's not had a problem doing it to others because, let me guess, he's told you that - I'm guessing lots of women have not lined up to tell you how tasty they were to him? Don't take his word for it. Quit the BJ's - something one should so not do, if reciprocation is not forthcoming. Having said that, some people like oral more than others, which is fine - giving or receiving. Nasty that he's putting the excuse on you though. It will be him, not you.

Opentooffers Thu 27-Oct-16 00:24:11

PS, how have you not addressed the disparity prior to marriage?

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in