sex injuries

(52 Posts)
Mirabellelle Thu 02-Jun-16 21:19:01

(NC for this and posted in Chat, which caused people to be rather distrusting, so trying again here)

My hips are really sore today and I blamed my high-heeled shoes. Then I remembered I decided last night to try folding myself double during sex, which probably caused said hip painAnyone else got a sex injury story to share?

OP’s posts: |
Smorgasboard Thu 02-Jun-16 22:30:31

It's the sort of thing you might share with a friend for a laugh, but on a chat forum, for anonymous titillation of an OP - Fuck no. Get a life!

Mirabellelle Thu 02-Jun-16 22:56:21

I give up! It was supposed to be light-hearted banter! In chat people thought I was a perv and here (of all places) it's considered inappropriate?! FGS!

OP’s posts: |
SexNamesRFab Thu 02-Jun-16 23:24:05

Don't worry OP, this is the most joyless sex forum ever. Sometimes it feels like all we're allowed to discuss is sexual problems (usually DH wants it all the time, I CBA) - never anything fun and certainly no sexual experimentation that would offend the vanilla squad.

0phelia Thu 02-Jun-16 23:29:00

LTB.

Greenandmighty Thu 02-Jun-16 23:31:41

Hi Mirabellelle all I can add is: I'm a little envious of the nature of your sex injury....no, just plain envious that you're having sex full stop! Do hope your hip pain eases though and take it easy. My only boring sex injury was banging my head on the bedside table ha ha!😀

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Thu 02-Jun-16 23:34:41

I remember seductively waking up to dh naked. He was clearly quite turned on. Slipped and fell in a crumped heap at his feet.
Hauled my self up to standing again (the bruises the next day were quite impressive) to see he had completely lost his erection.

We did still have sex though - we were ttc at the time. Had I not been ovulating I might hand give up on the idea.

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SexNamesRFab Thu 02-Jun-16 23:34:59

And I meant to add, my inner thighs often kill me and need a massage to unknot them the day after a good shag.

Patheticfallacy Thu 02-Jun-16 23:37:47

I quite frequently get painful cramp in my legs during sex

LogicalThinking Thu 02-Jun-16 23:40:31

I put my knee up on a table but didn't quite have the flexibility needed to keep it there, it slipped off, scraping the skin off and whacked my shin on the chair.

HooseRice Thu 02-Jun-16 23:40:56

Cancel the cheque

MangoMoon Thu 02-Jun-16 23:45:31

Don't worry OP, this is the most joyless sex forum ever.

Haha!! grin
It really is, isn't it?!!

Eekaman Fri 03-Jun-16 01:13:14

I can't think of an injury I've suffered, but I remember inflicting one;

We'd been out for a meal, a dance, drinking, having fun, lots of playful touches, getting more adventurous in the taxi home - you know how it is.

Got home, opened the front door, pulling each others clothes off, started going upstairs and well, she was pretty much naked by then and we didn't make it all the way upstairs before commencing...

The next day she had this big red welt on the bridge of her nose, right between her eyes. I'm like, whats happened here? Apparently it was a carpet burn. sad

LuluJakey1 Fri 03-Jun-16 23:25:01

DH and I were having a bit of a thrash around during sex at PILs one night. We have the attic floor of the house to ourselves so weren't being particularly careful. We sort of rolled over and just slid off the bed onto the floor, pulling the duvet off the bed which caught in the lead of a bedside lamp and pulled that off the table. The metal base hit DH in the face and we woke up PIL on the floor below. Cue MIL shouting up the stairs 'Is everything alright?' Me answering 'Yes, fine. Just knocked something over' while DH lay on the floor swearing in pain. He had a bump and red mark on his cheek the next day at breakfast, which he explained away by he had been getting up to go to the loo and tripped over the lead and banged his face on the bedside table.We still had sex though grin

summerdreams Sun 05-Jun-16 00:27:39

Today I have a big purple bruise on my inner thigh after a drunker shag last night. No idea what it actually was that caused it blush

HermioneWeasley Sun 05-Jun-16 19:47:37

I was wearing bracelet with charms on it and it cut into my palm quite badly during a particularly vigorous shag (it got trapped under my hand and my hands were taking most of my weight). I was delighted with my sex injury.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 05-Jun-16 23:07:05

LOL @ joyless sex forumgrin

It really is!

Ineedmorelemonpledge Mon 06-Jun-16 10:40:00

Once in a hotel with STBXH we slipped between the two beds which were pushed together and I bent in half with him on top. Could barely make it out the next day.

Clitoral beard graze seems to be my current plight. blush

wantmorenow Mon 06-Jun-16 22:30:22

First time swinging with another chap plus me and my BF. Everything going beautifully, sexy, respectful and my BF was playing with me whilst I gave the other guy a BJ. Got somewhat carried away and when I orgasmed I 'bit' him. Was completely involuntary and was mortified. Apologised profusely and he was so sweet about it. Put it down to inexperience and nerves and getting carried away. Lovely guy and he deserved better!! Still have a giggle about my faux pas!

Notsoaccidentproneanymore Mon 06-Jun-16 22:46:34

Fresh chillies - should really remember handling them before getting down to business. Dh and I didn't have sex that night!

Oldraver Tue 07-Jun-16 22:47:39

I once had a lady who had very lovely but long and sharp nails...she was a bit enthusiastic and managed to slice me about a cm down from mky clit

Took ages to heal

BatLetRat Tue 07-Jun-16 22:59:03

Oh dear smorgasboard .. You sound fun! Not!

I will never understand the posters who lurk in here purely to pour scorn on anything remotely titilating. It's very odd

Toffeelatteplease Wed 08-Jun-16 07:34:32

Strings of coil got caught on DP penis and pulled the coil out.

Most amusing thing was that I had had such a good time I didn't notice the excruciating pain (or the blood) until a few minutes after.

Do I win on worst sex injury ever?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 08-Jun-16 08:33:09

Batlet - I agree, it's very odd. I can think of at least 3 posters who you can practically see pursing their lips and crossing their arms in disgust. You'd think they'd just give the place a miss if it's not their thing!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 08-Jun-16 08:40:33

Toffee - ouch!!shockgrin

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