My orgasm has disappeared! How can I get it back

(6 Posts)
WhereOhWhereHasItGone Tue 05-Jan-16 13:45:16

Hi all

I've name changed because I'm very identifiable on this site.

Briefly, I was with my ex for 26 years, never ever had a problem having an orgasm through sex or otherwise. I separated from him at the beginning of last year and then went through a very difficult divorce during the year. I have recently met a new man and started having sex with him.

He does everything right but I just can't come! I have a couple of times through oral but not through PIV and I really want to. I think he's starting to become a bit fixated on making me come which I can see will start to add pressure to me (and him).

I'm 45 so wondering if menopausal things are happening. I tried to masturbate the other day and failed to come then too (admittedly was disturbed by both the cat and my ds). I've not failed to orgasm through masturbation otherwise.

Any solutions? Any ideas? What can I try? I really don't want this to become an issue and I just want to have an orgasm with lovely new man.

I'm hoping it's just a psychological issue and will resolve itself, but any pointers would be helpful.

Thanks

OP’s posts: |
Goodbetterbest Tue 05-Jan-16 22:45:17

There was a thread on this a while ago in this topic. One of the suggestions was a vit B12 supplement - which I started to take. I don't know if it helped but I had put a bit of weight on too so losing a few pounds made a difference I think. Seems to be back to normal now smile

naughtyjezebel Tue 05-Jan-16 22:49:56

Maybe ask your doctor to give you a check. I caught Chlamydia last year and for about 3 months afterwards I couldn't fully orgasm. As though the nerve endings in my clitorus had been damaged. Maybe just have a chat with your doctor.

WhereOhWhereHasItGone Wed 06-Jan-16 21:21:25

Thanks everyone

I'll try the vitb12, thanks for the suggestion and look through the threads on this topic.

I haven't put on weight recently.

I've also started doing lots of pelvic floor exercises in the hope that can help.

I think I'll just experiment on my own a bit too maybe.

OP’s posts: |
Goodbetterbest Thu 07-Jan-16 18:25:55

Other things I'd suggest is take your time - it can often just be a slow burner. And vibrators are great, but I think can make you less sensitive sometimes. So worth trying one if you haven't already, but not every time if you see what I mean. Ann summers have one in the sale guarenteed to succeed apparently!

WhereOhWhereHasItGone Thu 07-Jan-16 19:27:20

Right I've ascertained I'm fine on my own (without vibrator), so presumably that means it's not a hormonal problem?

Maybe it's just a case of relaxing and taking the pressure off me. and sorting out the position. etc

I was always fine in any position before, but maybe need to focus on different postions too?

OP’s posts: |

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