Sharing sexual secrets

(11 Posts)
Ladylola73 Mon 16-Nov-15 08:42:45

N/c for this but long time poster

My ex and I have a very amicable relationship, he is still my best friend and we talk nearly everyday, the split is fairly new but I don't see the friendship going away.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit low as he has left me and not a great deal of self esteem but I got chatting to a guy over the week and I ended up in his home on Saturday and I stayed over, the sex was mind blowing and we only napped through the night before playing again all night.

Anyway, I saw my ex yesterday as he dropped the kids off and he asked if I was ok, I was feeling a little shamed of my actions and I blurted it out to him. He listened , comforted me and we had a little talk about it and the safety of telling someone where I was next time.

Last night, he rings me and asked me all about what happened, he is very turned on at the thought of what I did and would like me to share the details, it was something we had talked about when we were a couple and a fantasy of mine (but only a fantasy until the weekend - stranger sex).

I felt uncomfortable so I said no, but this morning I have rung him and asked that he makes time for me to talk later and he says he can't wait for me to tell him about it.

Is it wrong to want to share what happened? I wouldn't tell the guys name or anything that could out him.

OP’s posts: |
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Mon 16-Nov-15 08:48:50

Uh
If your relationship has ended with the ex you shouldn't do anything sexual with him. It would be really silly.
If you want the ex back then by all
Means. But don't confuse a semi-relationship with a sexual element for friendship because it's not.

flanjabelle Mon 16-Nov-15 08:56:42

Are you doing this because you find it a turn on and a bit of fun, or are you desperate to keep his attention on you now you have split up?

I'm sorry but it sounds a bit like your ex wants to have his cake and eat it. He wants to be single and free of commitment but wants sexual gratification from you. That's not particularly nice. This isnt something that is happening within the 'safety' of a committed relationship, and that makes me feel that it is rather unbalanced. I have concerns over why you are consenting to this, and fear that it is to keep him close to you, rather than it being for your enjoyment.

Think carefully op, don't leave yourself vulnerable to more pain.

Ladylola73 Mon 16-Nov-15 12:48:00

I know that we won't get back together and it's really the last thing I want, he truly is my best friend and we talk about lots of things daily, it's almost like being in a relationship but not living together.

Don't get me wrong if I was to share with him the details of the evening I would get something out of it too, but as for actually sleeping with my ex again, no I don't think that would work.

OP’s posts: |
mummymeister Mon 16-Nov-15 16:26:25

don't do this ladylola73 - really seriously don't do this. this is not something that you do with your ex. it might be something you do if you are in a relationship and the other person encourages stranger sex that you agree to but not this.

you are literally leading yourself up a path where every weekend he will badger you for info on your sex life and your relationship, your friendship, with him will become nothing more than a wankfest.

speak to him tonight and tell him that what you did was wrong and it was oversharing and that you wont talk about this or any other sexual encounter you have again in the future.

pocketsaviour Tue 17-Nov-15 18:49:45

I agree with PPs, this is a baaaad idea. There are multiple things that could go wrong. Not least, he asks you to sleep with him, you say no, he suddenly decides that you're an immoral slut and he's going to tell your family and friends about your encounter(s).

I know you'll say "he's my best friend, he would never do that." But you don't know that. I've had a couple of friends who've had bad experiences with this sort of thing. One friend had her ex ended up sending a video of her masturbating to multiple people, including her boss, her elderly parents, and her child's teacher. She would also have said "He would never do that."

OddlyLogical Tue 17-Nov-15 21:17:47

I don't understand why you would even entertain this.
You don't want to get back with your ex and you don't want to sleep with him, why on earth would you want to discuss anything about your sex life with him?
It's not fair on either of you and it's not fair on any future partners of yours.

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DrMorbius Tue 17-Nov-15 21:53:14

So you are going to describe hot sex (in a slow husky voice) down the phone, to your ex while he wanks himself. Are you using a premium rate line?

ScrambledEggAndToast Tue 17-Nov-15 22:15:52

Sorry OP but if he considered you to be his best friend (as you describe him), then he wouldn't have dumped you.

Don't do this. It'll just end up lowering your self esteem which won't be nice. How will you feel if he sleeps with someone next week and wants to describe it to you? And what about he he gets a new girlfriend? Will these 'wank chats' still continue?

chumbler Sun 22-Nov-15 07:25:28

Hah sorry seem to be the only person who thinks you should go for it! You're both adults, if you both want to then go ahead!

Stoneagemum Sun 22-Nov-15 07:35:40

What ever you do now could be used in a custody battle later.
Don't do anything you wouldn't be prepared to stand up in court and admit.

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