What do i do :-(

(8 Posts)
kitkat1989 Wed 30-Sep-15 21:13:18

Ive been with dh for 7 years, married for 2, ttc since april. I love dh so much, i still find him attractive, he takes care of me, were comfortable with each other.
One problem... There is no passion in our relationship anymore, and the sex is very disappointing. Dh has never been romantic very much but since we bought our house last year has stopped completely. I'm a girly girl and like cheesy movies and i cant stop thinking i want a bit of that fairytaleness, even if its just a date!

The sex is very much over and done with, i have tried to show him what i like over and over again, but he just doesnt grasp it. I can count on one hand how many times hes 'gone down there', and the amount of orgasms iv had in 7 years. The deed is always over within 10 minutes tops, and he very rarely kisses me or even looks at me, normally just over my shoulder like hes concentrating. He has never once orgasmed whilst ive been on top. And when were done he cant relax at all, literally within 30 seconds of him getting there he will get up and go to the bathroom to 'clean himself up', which in turn makes me feel even worse for wanting to relish in the afterglow. Weve never had that out of breath wow that was amazing, or the needing to stop in the middle for a drink or falling asleep cuddling naked.

I sound like a terrible wife. I need to reiterate that I love my husband dearly, and he is a fantastic husband and i couldnt imagine spending my life with anyone else, i just miss that passion :-(

OP’s posts: |
mrstweefromtweesville Wed 30-Sep-15 23:10:28

Excuse me asking but have you ever wondered about his sexual orientation?

honeyh365 Wed 30-Sep-15 23:21:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeyh365 Wed 30-Sep-15 23:24:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitkat1989 Thu 01-Oct-15 07:37:05

Its been for a couple years i guess but more so since ttc. Haha no iv never wondered about that. I think his main thing is that hdle only slept with one person before me. Generally the 10 minutes does include foreplay yea.

The cleaning up thing is cos hes a bit of a germ freak and i know that but i still feel crappy about it.

OP’s posts: |
honeyh365 Thu 01-Oct-15 09:44:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pocketsaviour Sun 04-Oct-15 16:41:20

If things were better in the beginning and he was making sure you were enjoying it as much as he was, then it sounds like he's simply got lazy.

I think you need to sit down and talk to him plainly, out of bed, when you're both calm and relaxed (but not drunk.) For him to have only given you oral a handful of times throughout your relationship is just fucking shocking to me.


LuluJakey1 Sun 11-Oct-15 17:52:47

Is this a dealbreaker for you? I ask because it would be for me. I have been with DH 7 years and married for 6. The physical affection and sex is a big deal for us. I agree with 365 that 10 min quickies are fine occasionally but loving sex sounds like what you are missing.

Is he loving and affectionate apart from sex. I think that would be telling. It sounds like sex just scratches an itch for him and is not about you at all. The gazy, kissing, passion and cuddling bits are the closeness that come from sex and love.

If he can't feel that I think you have got a big problem with him. Do you want to spend your life feeling unloved? You have to answer the question to yourself because if you can not live like this and can not talk to him and he won't change, you have to make a decision

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