Anal Between Men

(16 Posts)
GenuineSexQuestion Thu 09-Jul-15 23:24:33

This is a genuine question.....I didn't post on the other anal sex thread because it has moved on somewhat, but I am curious (being a woman) if it takes two men so long to warm up, get prepared and do they need to use lube and butt plugs?

The answer is surely yes, but it seems that all this prep is only talked about with regards to women....

OP’s posts: |
Ashwinder Thu 09-Jul-15 23:31:31

Yes of course preparation is required. Why would you think otherwise? A quick Google of gay sex basics would have told you.

Men don't have self lubricating arseholes any more than women do.

GenuineSexQuestion Fri 10-Jul-15 00:02:29

As I said, the answer is surely yes, but why is this never mentioned....maybe it's another way of pointing out women's inadequacies?
That they can't just take it 'up the bum' without the bloke having to do all the work first.

OP’s posts: |
DioneTheDiabolist Fri 10-Jul-15 01:45:58

I have had anal sex with a few partners. All have sensitively done the prep, it's an enjoyable aspect of foreplay.

Is your DP insinuating that this part of the process makes you (or all women) "inadequate" OP?

UnsolvedMystery Fri 10-Jul-15 10:04:56

I don't think it's obvious because it's not a subject that most people give much thought to. How the hell would a straight woman know how gay men have sex? When gay men seek casual sex, do they carry lube and dildos around with them?
When a straight couple decide to try anal sex, most don't know how to go about it because it's hard to find good quality unbiased information about it.

BackToTheCaveman Fri 10-Jul-15 11:49:24

When discussing the subject on TV, Stephen Fry said gay men have a lot less anal sex than people generally think. In fact some couples rarely have anal sex.

GenuineSexQuestion Sat 11-Jul-15 00:06:19

Dione no, nothing to do with my husband. I mentioned the inadequacies of women because so many of these threads seem to be about women being coerced.

Unsolved....that is exactly what I mean.....not exactly easy for a quickie or one night stand!

Caveman....That's interesting, I wonder in that case, why heterosexual couples bother with anal sex when PIV is so much more straightforward!

OP’s posts: |


travertine Sat 11-Jul-15 00:14:09

Back I was going to say exactly the same thing. From all I have read (about anal) it is something not partaken that much. Understandby. Just because you are attracted to men doesn't mean you want something shoved your bum any more than women or straight men do. Really hate that assumption. An anus is an anus.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 11-Jul-15 00:16:16

I have seen some women on the threads here say they don't really like it, but I have seen few claim they were made to feel "inadequate" because they didn't enjoy it.

You ask why het couples bother with it. I bother with it because I find it intensely enjoyable. But not everyone does, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. I know a few gay men who tried it, didn't like it and don't do it.

travertine Sat 11-Jul-15 00:18:13

genuine I agree, more hassle. I do it (probably not popular opinion) because he loves it. And that makes me happy.I enjoy it too but it wouldn't be my first choice and I would be perfectly happy if we never did it again.

YonicScrewdriver Sat 11-Jul-15 10:08:18

It's possible to buy small sachets or tubes of lube, and ONSes usually happen at someone's place, right? So I'd've thought lube is accessible if wanted, or the couple pick something else to do.

BackToTheCaveman Sat 11-Jul-15 10:33:33

Genuine - I wonder in that case, why heterosexual couples bother with anal sex when PIV is so much more straightforward!

Good question, From me ( a man) I believe it is part dominance/control thing. Not too heavy but a slight element of being on top (metaphorically), so don't all start flaming me. Partly visual and partly sensation. Anal does feel different to PIV.

YonicScrewdriver Sat 11-Jul-15 10:40:58

OP, you could say that about other forms of sex though - why have PIV when you could have manual or oral without pregnancy risk and with very low STD risk.

MrsTedCrilly Sat 11-Jul-15 12:35:15

I think some people need prep and some don't, both men and women. Probably more to do with penis size? I love it occasionally but there is no foreplay needed, just lube up and go slowly. Gay friends and my gay brother are pretty open about their exploits and have never mentioned lots of prep..

UnsolvedMystery Sat 11-Jul-15 23:01:23

I am aware that not all gay men have anal sex, but many do - a lot more than het couples. Some casual encounters will not be in someone's home, some will be outside. That's where the preparation seems unlikely.
I can only assume that the regularity and amount of anal sex you have, the easier it becomes. I do enjoy anal, but it's an occasional thing, so preparation is important every time.

WallyBantersJunkBox Sun 12-Jul-15 22:48:35

I've asked a friend and there are of course preparations.

From frozen Crisco balls inserted into the anal passage to melt, to different lubricants on the market and numbing lotions and sprays.

I don't know if poppers are still on these let in the UK. However I remember the smell being very prevalent in a few day clubs I went to. They were used as a muscle relaxant.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in