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helping DS to do bag

(10 Posts)
mistermister Tue 22-Sep-09 22:44:17

Please help - feel so bad as my friend has slated me - my DS (year 8) always prepares his rucksack for the next day - and I always double check it for him (at his request) as I know he's a worrier and he'd be mortified to be told off should he forget anything (although I've obviously told him it is the serial "offenders" teachers are probably more interested in!). My friend says I shouldn't double check it and now I just feel really bad. But my DS is very sensitive and different to her DCs - I only ever double check it once he has gone to bed, so that it's not a big issue. I did try once to say I won' t check it and I'm sure it won't matter if something's not there and he was so worried. Other than that, he's confident and happy in every way, just likes to do things properly! Any help/advice/support much appreciated. THX smile

differentID Tue 22-Sep-09 22:47:22

if he's been doing it correctly for a year and a week or so, I think you could stop checking.
lie and tell him you did.

webwiz Wed 23-Sep-09 09:41:50

My DS is just the same (see Year 8 thread!) - I don't see the problem with checking his bag just to give him some reassurance if you don't mind doing it. I had stopped checking for my two DDs by the time they were a few weeks into year 7 but DS is different. I bet your friend does some things with her DCs that you would shockat.

AMumInScotland Wed 23-Sep-09 10:14:22

If he wants you to check it for him, why are you "only doing it after he's gone to bed"?

I think it would be better in the longer term for you to check his process - ie make sure he has a good sensible plan for working out what he needs - some form of timetable, and/or a plan about how he stores things.

Once you are both happy with that, you shouldn't need to check that he has followed it correctly every time.

scaryteacher Wed 23-Sep-09 12:19:51

My ds packs his in theory before bed, but I double check it most mornings, as I don't want to have to rush to school with things he's forgotten.

Boys do need help with this - it was always the boys in my tutor group and classes who forgot things like pencil cases and planners.

I am now at the point of letting ds take the consequences of forgetting things, especially when it's his lunch card as that would focus his brain a bit!

englishpatient Wed 23-Sep-09 12:20:22

I think it doesn't matter at all what your friend thinks about it - if that's what you and your DS are comfortable with, it's your decision.

I would guess he will probably gain confidence so he doesn't want you to do it eventually.

mistermister Wed 23-Sep-09 13:05:00

Thanks to each and every one of your replies - they are all really constructive and made me feel a LOT better!! Also, it was nice to hear from some actual teachers who didn't slate me!! Thanks, Webwiz, will check out the thread on y8s!! I must say, my DS is very organised with homework/works hard in class,e tc.... and that is great. And Webwiz, yes I am sure I can think of a couple of things to do with my friend (she's very nice but so bossy)! but I wouldn't dream of saying anything - life's too short!! Thank you again - look forward to looking at Y8 thread. wink

mistermister Wed 23-Sep-09 13:05:51

Meant to say a separate thanks to englishpatient - never thought of it so logically - yes, if it works for us, I suppose that's all that matters. Thank you so much.

englishpatient Wed 23-Sep-09 13:34:49

Have a DD in yr 8 myself, so can sympathise with wanting to help but at the same time not do too much.

snorkie Wed 23-Sep-09 21:33:27

I'm amazed you have the first idea of what should be in their bags on any day! I can't see it's a big deal to check it though if that's what he's comfortable with - He'll stop wanting you rummaging through his stuff before much longer in any case.

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