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Dont like any schools

(19 Posts)
maltloaf Sat 27-Sep-08 23:05:57

I have visited the two secondary schools and i do not want child to go to either have been a sobbing mess all weekend what do i do

Tortington Sat 27-Sep-08 23:07:21

what can you do?

fryalot Sat 27-Sep-08 23:08:23

are there only two possible schools? There may be another option that is further away and you may have to drive him/her there, but it may be a viable option.

What do you dislike about the schools you have seen? Are they so bad that they have no redeeming features whatsoever?

Can you HE?

We need more details before we can really help, I suspect...

maltloaf Sat 27-Sep-08 23:14:52

One is large city comp that does not have a brill reputation it wasnt that bad at visit the other is a bus ride so worried about safety of meeting other children in diff uniform it was also extremly reginemted and did not leave any room 4 the kids to be creative

fryalot Sat 27-Sep-08 23:17:24

if you liked the comp at your visit, you could try sending your lo there.

Reputations can go back literally yeeeeeears and the school could have changed beyond all recognition since it got that reputation.

If the other one was preferable but further away and the only thing that worries you is the journey, could you either drive him/her there yourself, or do a car pool with a couple of other parents in a similar position?

3littlefrogs Sat 27-Sep-08 23:17:25

Are you sure there are only 2 schools? It seems very limited - I suppose it depends where you live though.

I HATE this business of secondary transfer. sad

gagarin Sat 27-Sep-08 23:17:52

where does your dc want to go? That might help you feel more settled.

maltloaf Sat 27-Sep-08 23:29:42

Only two schools with a chance i said 4 years i would not send them to it and i feel i have let them down sending here dc has not been that interested but because the primary school took them 4 a day before we did any visits dc said that one child top of class and keen to learn and i dont want them getting spoiled now thinking of moving will schools let u transfer

magentadreamer Sat 27-Sep-08 23:37:40

You can transfer if the school you want has a place.

kiddiz Sat 27-Sep-08 23:45:43

I remember being shown around one prospective high school for my ds by the head girl and deputy head girl. The deputy spent the whole tour texting on her mobile and the head girl couldn't answer any of my questions and was chewing gum!! I , maybe wrongly, assumed they would have chosen their best students to represent the school so it didn't bode well for the rest!
Our first stop on the tour was the detention rooms in the plural!! Yes they needed more than one room for detention. Can't say I would have been keen to show them to prospective parents at all but certainly not first!!
We also were shown the part of the building that had been condemned because of asbestos and the extremely litter ridden playgrounds where the head girl stopped chewing long enough to inform us that they had a litter collecting rota !!!!!!!!!
Ds did not attend that school which was, curiously, situated in one of the more affluent areas of the city.

You have my sympathy... moving schools is very stressful and you certainly don't have the choices the government like to make you think you do.

HonoriaGlossop Sat 27-Sep-08 23:46:13

I am amazed at how many people have any choice! In our small town we are in one catchment area only - one school, no choice.

I would look into the transferring idea once you're in - often kids do leave, move on etc and places come up. you can be on as many waiting lists as you want I think.

stitch Sat 27-Sep-08 23:48:31

if you dont like the schools in your area, and private isnt an option, then other than moving, sitting down and sobbing is your only option.
sad i'm not being nasty, just truthful

kiddiz Sat 27-Sep-08 23:52:13 reality you don't really have a choice where I live. The best schools fill up on catchment area pupils who place it as their 1st choice. The schools that have places available after that are probably the ones that you wouldn't choose for your child to go to.

kiddiz Sat 27-Sep-08 23:53:29

So if you don't happen to live in the catchment area of your preferred choice then your stuffed!

maltloaf Sun 28-Sep-08 00:03:07

Maybe i need a reality check i think i am in denial and all the playground gossip is driving me mad wi th moms saying they will not send theirs but i do not c an alternative it just seems to b the done thing to slag off the local school they do bus lots of kids in from a deprived area has anyone got a place in yr8 at a good one

stitch Sun 28-Sep-08 00:08:54

i used to teach in a school where i would never in a million years have sent my ds. so we moved. fortunately for us, at that time, it was an option. now it isnt.
ignore the parental gossip. slagging people adn organisations off is an activity that has roots in boredom. your child will do well, or not, depending on how you are at home.

findtheriver Sun 28-Sep-08 11:28:27

I agree with stitch that the last thing you need to do is listen to gossip. It's true that the gossip mongers are doing it because they have nothing better to do. It's a negative spiral too - you talk a school down, and it then becomes almost impossible to believe it can be a good place.

TBH, I think this whole secondary thing has become a nightmare. Let's be honest - how many of us really had any choice when we were kids? Most people I know just got sent to their local school, often without any prior visit, or transition programme. My first day at secondary school was the first time I'd set foot in the place!!

Actually, my position was slightly different - I lived in an area where grammar schools were being phased out, and a new comp was set up. However I was in the last cohort to sit the 11 plus, I passed and was offered one of the last places at the grammar. My parents declined it and sent me to the comp as my elder brother had 'failed' the 11 plus and was there, and they wanted us all at the same school. So, in retrospect, I was not even at a comprehensive really as nearly all those who 'passed' the 11 plus would have been at the grammar.

I did fine. Incidentally, both my siblings (11 plus 'failures'!!) and went to University, as I did, so all this bolleaux about having to be at a top school to get to Uni is crap.

At the end of the day, most people are restricted in choice anyway. Some people can afford private, but hell, that's 7% of kids so hardly the real world. And many of us who can afford private choose not to anyway.

Supportive home environment is a big factor. Stop being weepy or your kids will feel the school is a poor choice. Feel positive and chances are they will be fine.

maltloaf Sun 28-Sep-08 16:12:20

Thanks for all the advice i feel a bit more positive now i am going to call the local comp about how they deal with the top set which my child in when the form gone i can relax i

cory Sun 28-Sep-08 16:23:37

About this bus ride thing- is it a genuine fact that the area where you live is so unsafe that going on a bus in school uniform is taking your life into your hands? Not denying that there are such areas- but it might help if you made it clear to us what the statistics are in your particular patch. Do kids regularly get beaten up on the buses? Or is this your perception based on the media?

In our (fairly large and no problem free) city, most kids expect to use local buses once they start Yr 7; that's just the way it is. I go to work on one of these buses; the kids are well audible (head-clutching emoticon) but I have seen no real violence and have never heard that this is a big problem.

The local comp may well be better than it is painted; impossible to know really.

In any case, your kids need to have a cheerful positive home environment with reasonable expectations of them from you, more than they need the latest in educational technology.

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