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am i exhibiting pfb tendencies or aibr?

(29 Posts)
stitch Tue 26-Aug-08 12:57:39

do i take ds to school in car? or let him take bus? if he takes the school bus, he leaves the house before seven, and wontbe back till after six. if i take him, then he leaves at half seven, and we will hopefully have the oppurtunity to have conversations both then, and on the way back. we should be home by half four, five at the latest...
i also have two other kids, so driving him is not the easy option. i just think an eleven hour day will be too much for an eleven year old, plus i will be completely cut out of his life.
suggestions please

stitch Tue 26-Aug-08 12:58:21

its a 13 mile round trip. in the car this morning, no school traffic, it took us an hour.

Anna8888 Tue 26-Aug-08 12:59:07

Is this a school bus or a public bus?

Anna8888 Tue 26-Aug-08 12:59:34

Can I ask why you are sending him to a school so far from home?

pigleto Tue 26-Aug-08 12:59:57

give the bus a try. he might make friends.

ThatBigGermanPrison Tue 26-Aug-08 13:00:48

11 hour day too long, I'd take him in the car, and if that isn't feasible I'd move him to a school closer to home. I'd be wrecked after an 11 hour day, never mind a child.

Anna8888 Tue 26-Aug-08 13:01:20

I took a bus a long way to school at 11 (to a grammar school, so far from the nearest school from home) and I would never ever want my children to do it - I got so incredibly tired I think the benefits of a good school were lost on me.

stitch Tue 26-Aug-08 13:02:24

its a school bus. will pick him up ten to fifteen minutes walk away from our house, but knowing him, i may well be having to drop him to the stop [sigh]
why he is going to a school so far from home..... need several threads to answer that question [sigh] in a nutshell, it seems to be the most suitable school for him

MatNanPlus Tue 26-Aug-08 13:02:57

What would DS like to do?

Are any of his friends on the bus?

Any possiblity of car share?

Or if DS wants to use the bus why not try till Oct half term then reassess.

Could you do a split week of bus & car?

Aimsmum Tue 26-Aug-08 13:03:12

Message withdrawn

Anna8888 Tue 26-Aug-08 13:06:15

Could he not take the bus in the morning and you pick him up in the evening, or vice versa?

stitch Tue 26-Aug-08 13:07:17

the car will be very difficult for me, with the younger kids, and driving back this morning, i just could no t believe that i was volunteering to do this. but i think it would be better for him.
the point about making friends on the bus is a valid one. but does it cancel out how tired he will become?
and if he isnt doing an afterschool club, then he will have to hand around the school for almost an hour before he can get it home. in a few years time, he will be able to take the train, if he wants to, but right now, the local bus isnt an option. too many changes
not sure what to do

stitch Tue 26-Aug-08 13:08:36

okie, i;ll call the school and find out if we can do a split.

ThatBigGermanPrison Tue 26-Aug-08 13:08:54

let him get the bus in the morning then, as is hard work for you, and collect him in the evening when it will make a big difference, timewise.

elkiedee Tue 26-Aug-08 13:10:33

It seems a long way to send your child, but if that's your decision, another option would be to just drive him one way. Perhaps send him in on the bus and pick him up, then he'll get home much earlier from what you've said. Or just pick up some days.

elkiedee Tue 26-Aug-08 13:12:00

Cross post, lots of people have made the same sort of suggestion I did.

MrsMattie Tue 26-Aug-08 13:12:02

What does your son want to do? I would have hated my mum driving me to and from secondary school!

christywhisty Tue 26-Aug-08 13:53:27

Why can't he take the train now?
My DS just going into yr8 takes the train to school only takes 8 minutes as opposed to nearly an hour on the bus.

Spoo Tue 26-Aug-08 13:57:55

I used to catch the school coach to school. Great way to socialise and cath up on a few zzs or homework!!! I also did an 11 hour day and it didn't knacker me I was very used to it.

stitch Tue 26-Aug-08 14:13:14

well, i have spoken tot he school, and it seems i will be able to leave it till next week till i have to decide. also, i think i will find out what he really wants, and this week of induction should give us both a reasonable idea.
the train is a viable option. i need to find out how much it costs. but i think i may be being a bit pfb about him taking public transport on his own. sill really , as he has been making his own way to primary school since the summer term of year five

curleyshirley Tue 26-Aug-08 14:14:36

Same as spoo - I used to catch the coach to school, left home about 7am and got home about 5pm. I loved it, was time for finishing off homework in the mornings, eating breakfast etc...and for socialising in the evenings. People at my shcool who didnt get the coach used to feel quite envy of those on coaches!

roisin Tue 26-Aug-08 14:41:39

That is a long day and I do understand your hesitations, but I think my starting point would be to try the school bus and see how it goes. Otherwise to investigate the train.

My ds1 (11) will be taking public service bus to school from September, but it's only a short journey - about 3 miles I think (and we don't have heavy traffic round here grin), and there are buses every 20 mins. He's cool about it and so are we.

stitch Tue 26-Aug-08 16:36:14

well, we had a lovely long chat in the car on the way back. just as i envisaged. but he wants to take the bus.. sad i have spoken to the school, and they say i can do a mix, as long as they know precisely which days he wont be using the school bus.
so after all the palava, and heartache, its sorted.

Neeerly3 Tue 26-Aug-08 16:44:20

doh, was just about to post about my own 11 - 18 year old experience of a bus journey, but you are sorted....well done

stitch Tue 26-Aug-08 16:46:00

neerly3, please tell me. i havent put anything in writing yet, and no cheques have been sent yet either.
everything can be changed grin

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