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Year 9 DD demotivated - what to do?

(10 Posts)
Walkingtheplank Tue 16-Feb-21 18:27:07

DD is in year 9. She's a bright girl. To put in context her school forecast grades for GCSE are mostly 8s, all of her aspirational grades are 9s.

Up to now she has been super motivated/diligent. A bit disorganised but pulls it together when necessary.

She has been very unmotivated during lockdown. Her half term grades weren't great and it seems that she hasn't been handing in some work. I did send an email to Head of Year who told us not to worry and that she'd have a word at the start of the new half term.

When we talked about her report last week she totally accepted the marks, said she hadn't been working hard enough and would get a plan together to catch up over half term.

We're now on Tuesday of half term. No plan yet and by all accounts she has no intention to do so, despite the plan being her idea.

She is also at peak teenager stage, totally belligerent, dismissive, has it harder than anyone else.

So, what do we do? I dont know if I'm being too harsh or not firm enough. What I dont want is for her to let things slip so much that she cant get back to where she should be.

Any advice from wiser parents would be appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
StopAtTheRedLight Sun 21-Feb-21 23:36:43

Bump. Same situation. Do I have two accounts???

lpsandmore Mon 22-Feb-21 06:45:46

She is probably exhausted and overwhelmed. Not sure how it went for you OP but I would personally make the plan with her or even let her take half term off completely. You don't want her burnt out before GCSE and tbh all the kids are absolutely exhausted. It's been a year of self teaching and self motivating for them. For your DD it's Y8 and now Y9 she is losing. I would sit down and help her wrote out a plan that will work and is something you can check and incentivise her to actually do.

Porcupineintherough Mon 22-Feb-21 08:01:56

I agree with @Ipsandmore. My Y8 has also fallen behind and was planning to work through half term to catch up. I'm only letting him do a couple of days because he's exhausted and needs a break . Burnt out is a very real possibility.

BonnesVacances Mon 22-Feb-21 08:12:10

Speak to her tutor and HoY. Lay off the pressure. She won't be the only one falling behind due to low motivation and teachers will already have a plan to help students catch up next year.

It's really hard for DC atm. A lot of their adolescent developmental needs aren't being met during lockdown and not going to school in person. They have little autonomy or personal agency, reduced physical activity. They need peer support and contact and are missing out on that too.

The most important thing to know is that it's still possible to do it with low motivation. It just means you need an external motivator such as a reward, rather than it coming from within. But it's completely normal for motivation levels to be low now and teachers will be aware.

piefacedClique Mon 22-Feb-21 08:17:21

Just get her to do what you can.... concentrate on the core subjects... and I say that as a teacher. We will meet them where they are when they return.... pupils are going to be at a number of different stages... some will have excelled in lockdown having thrives without the usual classroom disruptions and others will have done little... some will have done nothing at all! I’m a good and nutrition teacher.... some are highly motivated.... others haven’t even viewed the assignments or turned up for a live lesson, others access work when it suits. I get it... I feel their pain! Online learning is exhausting and draining and her actions are completely to be expected. Has she made her option choices already?

lpsandmore Mon 22-Feb-21 08:28:50

Just to add, we've gone back to having a sticker chart with my Y8 DD. I made one that looks quite grown up on excel and I'm paying her 20p for every sticker on it. She's loved it! I'm sure she wouldnt tell her friends but there's something very satisfying about ticking something and getting a monetary reward when you're 13!

Walkingtheplank Mon 22-Feb-21 22:02:54

I hadn't realised anyone had replied!

DD did get a plan together and she's told me that she caught up with most of her work. Not sure that her motivation is any better (why would it be?)

I take on board what everyone says about not pushing too hard and that a vital part of her adolescence has been lost. It's all so sad.

OP’s posts: |
sansou Tue 23-Feb-21 14:46:04

Similar scenario here. Taking more than a cursory look at actual work has unearthed the fact that not an awful lot has been done. Words have been had and tension caused. They’ve already started the gcse syllabus for the sciences. It’s rubbish all around. I don’t have the time to mico manage. School return in March can’t come soon enough.

whataboutbob Tue 23-Feb-21 14:48:38

I feel the same, v bright y9 DS can barely bring himself to switch his computer on. I’m so relieved re schools re-opening, yet I don’t believe all kids will bounce back to where they were at pre Covid. It’s going to take time to re build skills and confidence which have been eroded.

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