Hi, I have name-changed in an attempt to keep this anonymous. I badly need advice please as I'm unable to decide. Apologies for the long post!
My son, age 11, has just been offered places at two boys-only schools for secondary, when he's 13. One is day, a 25 minute walk away from where we live. The other is full boarding, a 40 minute drive away from us. The schools are equal in reputation - the day one is a bit more academic but the boarding one is also academically great, just a bit of a broader intake. Both schools have good extra-curricular/sports facilities so that is pretty much equal too.
The main issue is whether or not to board. My son is completely happy either way - he loves the idea of boarding but he also is happy to continue life as now, at day school. I work but DH works from home so childcare isn't a problem. DS is sociable with plenty of friends, isn't at all sporty and spends all the time he is allowed on the computer playing games with his mates.
I can't work out which would be a better choice for him. At boarding school he would be with his peers all the time and given lots of extracurricular opportunities, but the school allows pupils a lot of independence - I've heard that sometimes boys retreat to their rooms and game online in their spare time, avoiding the activities on offer. And as he's not sporty, the additional time allocated for sport may not be a benefit.
However, if he's at day school, I can imagine his time at home would degenerate into a constant shouting match as I try to get him offline and into real life. I'm worried our relationship will suffer - we're not great at discipline and he's very strong-willed, so he might be happier benefiting from the skill of a wise housemaster who's more experienced with tricky teenagers than we are. At the moment home can be a bit of a battlefield at times.
If he boards, he'll hopefully make good friends with the boys in his house and enjoy having them around the whole time for company, as opposed to going home each night to do homework on his own. But then in the holidays his boarding-school friends would all go away back to their homes (we live in the country), whereas if he stays at day school they'd still be nearby and he could meet up with them easily.
Any advice welcome - with a plea for this thread not to turn into an ideological boarding/day discussion. I'm neutral either way: my daughter is staying at home for secondary whereas I think boarding might really suit my son. So I'd be grateful if we could stick to which option you think might be best in this particular case.
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Secondary education
Boarding or day: which is better in this particular case?
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Boardingorday · 08/07/2020 18:44
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