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School says my son must cut his hair or be excluded

(253 Posts)
alexis52 Fri 13-Mar-20 10:04:58

I have 2 children 1boy aged11 1 girl aged 14. They both go to that same school but recently they have a new head master who changed some of the uniform policy's. to begin with they were good changes like skirts can't be shorter than the knee and ties had to come down to the stomach but then he changed the hair policies. This did not effect my daughter because she fell into all the categories but it did effect my son. His hair is about an inch or so past his shoulder, the head said that boys hair must not come over The colour and I got an email telling me to cut his hair. I have refused to cut his hair and long hair doesn't effect his work because he ties it up for certain classes like PE and cookery and doesn't play with it. The school have now threatened that if I don't cut his hair soon he will be excluded .

OP’s posts: |
zafferana Fri 13-Mar-20 10:08:10

So your DS will be excluded from school Are you okay with that? I'd just cut his fucking hair myself, but it's your choice. Uniform is there to make everyone look the same. Jewellery, hair, etc has to be safe and practical and everyone has to abide by the same rules. Will it harm your DS to cut his hair? No. He has the rest of his life to look exactly the way he wants. If your DD's hair was blue and you'd been told it had to be a natural shade would you be making a stand about that too?

Serenschintte Fri 13-Mar-20 10:09:33

Well I would say hair color isn’t a hill to die on. Get his hair cut- maybe you can find a compromise style that he and you are happy with and school will accept.
When my DH started out in work post Uni one of the things mentioned in his first appraisal was that he wasn’t smart enough. So he had to up his game - if he wanted to continue in his job. Which he did as it had a career path, was interesting and would lead to more opportunities and a better standard of living. Which it has. No so different from school if you can work hard and apply yourself.

Clangus00 Fri 13-Mar-20 10:10:30

If it’s school policy then it’s school policy.
NOT that I agree with it, but this will teach him that it’s important to follow rules. If school exclude him, I doubt you’ll be able to do anything about it.
Either meet with the head and plead your son’s case, or get his hair cut.

Throughabushbackwards Fri 13-Mar-20 10:10:59

I'd be fired from my job if my hair wasn't styled in line with our professional dress code. It's a valuable life lesson to have to comply with such rules so I think you'd best tell your child he has to cut his hair.

Merename Fri 13-Mar-20 10:11:25

It wasn’t quite clear in your post, but is the rule on length of hair different for girls and boys? If so I would be making a firm but polite point to the head about sex discrimination. If it’s the same for everyone then cut the hair, it’s just school rules.

Thesearmsofmine Fri 13-Mar-20 10:12:24

Do girls have to have short hair too?

ArkAtEee Fri 13-Mar-20 10:15:57

Surely this is discriminatory? Some people have long hair for cultural reasons. I wouldn't force him to cut his hair if it's otherwise tidy, I would be complaining higher up the chain about this.

alexis52 Fri 13-Mar-20 10:16:26

The girls hair can be as long as they like so my daughter has her hair half way down her back and she doesn't tie it up as often as my son

OP’s posts: |
Divebar Fri 13-Mar-20 10:16:56

I agree with Merename... I don’t think it’s reasonable to allow girls to have long hair but not boys. However if the rules are that hair should be tied back at all times ( as in my DDs school) then he should comply with that. Him going in with his hair down is just highlighting how long it is and drawing attention to himself.

Growingboys Fri 13-Mar-20 10:16:58

Just cut his bloody hair.

Ridiculous snowflake nonsense. Poor child.

madcatladyforever Fri 13-Mar-20 10:17:14

There asurely must be some discrimination there. My ex had waist length hair all his life and has never been asked to cut it at work, ever. It was tied up and very neat, usually plaited. I think schools are going too far. They are determined to strip away every ounce of individuality from everybody and I thinks it's time this was challenged.
Schools don't make them stop wearing those disgusting pumps/ballet shoes which wreck their feet for life though.

PragmaticWench Fri 13-Mar-20 10:17:25

If the girls are allowed longer hair then the head is making a sex-based discrimination. I'd tie it back for the entire time your DS is at school and write a letter explaining that you won't be cutting it based purely on your DS' sex.

madcatladyforever Fri 13-Mar-20 10:18:01

Obviously the hair needs to be neatly tied back.

RoLaren Fri 13-Mar-20 10:18:20


Redcrayons Fri 13-Mar-20 10:19:30

Cut his hair or have him excluded? You'd make him miss school for this?
It's a good lesson to learn that sometimes you just have to conform to rules that you don't agree with.

DoubleAction Fri 13-Mar-20 10:20:17

Hmm interesting. I thought only boys' schools had these rules now, as you need to have the same rules for everyone.

I would expect him to have to tie it up at all time though.

Actually, I'd probably be explaining how, wrong as it is, people do judge on appearance and sometimes conforming is in your own best interests.

lanthanum Fri 13-Mar-20 10:22:30

If the rule had been in place last year, would you have opted for a different school? If so, maybe it's worth making a stand about it, as they are disrupting your son's education by forcing a change of school. But if you'd still have opted for this school, then I think you just accept the rule and get the haircut.

eddiemairswife Fri 13-Mar-20 10:23:02

If this rule was not in place when he started at the school, then it should only apply to the children who came after the head was appointed. However all pupils with long hair should have it tied back when in school.

SarahTancredi Fri 13-Mar-20 10:23:42

Sexist bullshit. Nothing wrong with long hair. On boys or girls.

The tie rule is bollocks too. What about tall people?

Thesearmsofmine Fri 13-Mar-20 10:23:48

In that case I would be challenging the rule. Why is ok for girls but not boys? Hair can be long and smart.

mammothtrain Fri 13-Mar-20 10:24:05

If the girls are allowed longer hair then the head is making a sex-based discrimination

^^ this with bells on!!! Id love to see the reactions of posters if it was the other way around and girls weren’t allowed short hair everyone.

Fair enough if it’s past shoulder length they all need it tied up neatly. That should apply to ALL children though.

tinierclanger Fri 13-Mar-20 10:24:32

It’s a discriminatory policy. Fair enough to require it to be tied back but not that it has to be cut. I’d raise it with the board of governors.

I don’t think it’s a valuable lesson to learn that you have to follow rules where they’re unjustified, better to learn to challenge them if they’re wrong. Saying that, I wouldn’t want him excluded over it, but it’s worth arguing it first.

MashedPotatoBrainz Fri 13-Mar-20 10:24:44

Threaten them right back. Tell them that is they exclude him you'll sue them for sex discrimination. Can't believe that in this day and age schools still think they can treat boys and girls differently, based on sexist stereotypes.

Sirzy Fri 13-Mar-20 10:25:47

It should be hair up for all pupils if it is past the collar. Fairer and no room for confusion

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