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Move to independent for yr 10

(17 Posts)
Soffy Sat 01-Feb-20 14:00:44

Dd is currently in yr 9 at the local comprehensive school. Shes middle set and needs constant supervision to get her to do her homework. Maths and English are particularly problematic. Her current predicted grades are a 4 in maths from a 6 last year and english a 5 when previously a 6/7 She has some learning difficulties, seen by an educational psychologist who said her processing speed was very low. Shes constantly saying she struggles to keep up, but I also find her lazy when trying to get her to do homework.

Theres a lot of low level behaviour issues in her class, one of her teachers even told me how bad her class is and that he felt sorry for her confused.They mix the groups up in September, but given her predicted grades I cant see much changing in terms of who else is in her class

. We have found an independent school that may have space from the summer term of year 9. I feel she would benefit from smaller classes , hopefully better behaviour and a fresh start. Its local so she can keep her friends (she has lovely friends which is a bit of a pull). Would you do it? Or will we still have the same problems ?

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Pipandmum Sat 01-Feb-20 14:07:50

If you can afford it and she's on board then do it. But there's no gaurantee she will do better - she sits the exam and has to put the effort in.
It is hard to keep up friendships in different school and may there be some resentment? But she is bound to make new friends.
If the psychologist says she has low processing what extra help will the new (or current) school provide? And are you sure its laziness and not this that is affecting her homework?

Soffy Sat 01-Feb-20 14:16:39

Thank you. We're not going to force her but we are hopibg she will be convinced after the trial day. I honestly think shes lazy blush the processing wont help but getting her to anything is a battle

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Soffy Sat 01-Feb-20 14:19:44

The current school havent helped her at all with the low processing. They are meant to give her handouts so she doesnt need to copy, but they dont always. She was meant to get 25% extra time for exams but they left her off the list . We are yet to have a proper talk with the new school but they are known for being quite good with SEN and aren't selective so tend to have more kids with issues I suspect.

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LIZS Sat 01-Feb-20 14:26:24

You need to be sure that the proposed school can and will offer her additional support to meet her needs. Small classes ( not always the case when you have an options based timetable) will mot in themselves resolve her issues. And yes there may still be disruption and distraction in class.

LIZS Sat 01-Feb-20 14:30:05

She is not "lazy" by the way, she has encountered barriers and probably no longer believes it is worth the effort to try.

Soffy Sat 01-Feb-20 14:33:35

I think I'm probably in the best position to say if she's lazy.

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missyB1 Sat 01-Feb-20 14:41:38

Do it is my advice, we didn’t and then regretted it. My middle ds was very much like your dd and had the processing issue too. We had an offer of a place at a lovely local independent school with good learning support, but his state school talked us into staying with them, they insisted they could support him. With hindsight we should definitely have moved him.

missyB1 Sat 01-Feb-20 14:42:59

Oh and rather than lazy try to think of it as demotivated - which I probably would be too in her circumstances.

Soffy Sat 01-Feb-20 14:45:15

Thank you.

I get frustrated with her. She needs to do her maths revision and has found every excuse known to man today to avoid it. I have to sit with her to get her to do anything. So annoying.

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TeenPlusTwenties Sat 01-Feb-20 19:06:35

You do need to consider a couple of extra things
- will she be able to do the option subjects she wants to do
- when does the new school start GCSE syllabus? Our school starts science in y9. If there is a mismatch this could cause problems.

Malmontar Sat 01-Feb-20 19:21:25

If you have the money than I don't see the problem. However don't underestimate how disruptive entitled rich kids can be. There's plenty of low level disruption in private schools, however disruption does seem to decrease closer to GCSEs in all schools. Your daughter sounds overwhelmed and demotivated and a move to a school with children with higher aspirations may raise hers, or cripple her.

Soffy Sat 01-Feb-20 21:45:53

I've emailed the school exactly those questions @Teenplustwenties

You've hit the nail on the head @malmontar. I managed to get her to agree to do some maths homework without a fight today. We can afford independent school for a few years. It's just that the money could also be put to use on lowering our mortgage or going into our pension and I'm not 100% sure it's worth going into school fees instead. £18k per year post tax is alot of money when you can get free education. It's just working out what the value is . My hope would be better support, time to explain things as she is constantly telling me she puts her hand up but gets ignored and control over the class. There just appears to be no consequence for bad behaviour.

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MarchingFrogs Sat 01-Feb-20 21:54:58

What is the indie going to do to cure her laziness? Has someone there put forward a plan for this?

Malmontar Sat 01-Feb-20 21:58:08

Would it be possible to get her a couple of tutors for a while? Say one in maths and one in science or English. That would cost you roughly £60 per week depending on where you are and could potentially help her a lot. Tutoring helps lots of children like your daughter process the information in a calmer environment and can often lead to moving sets with the higher ones often being calmer. Remember the lower sets often get the bad behaviour because they are full of demotivated kids who by Y9 think they're idiots with no hope so give up on themselves. It can be really overwhelming not knowing what's going on, our DD is in Y7 so younger but we were having similar issues until she got the support she needed and now actually tries. I used to call her lazy and get sooo frustrated that she wouldn't even open a practise paper.

I would honestly have a think about the tutoring before committing to anything as it really is such a huge financial commitment that's not guaranteed to work.

Jano69 Sat 01-Feb-20 23:02:18

I agree with LIZS, she's come across barriers, and feels the effort's too much. Probably not lazy.... just frustrated and in need of a confidence boost.

Soffy Sun 02-Feb-20 07:48:03

That's a very good point @Marchingfrogs.

I have wondered about tutors @Malmontar , but she already has one for maths and her predicted grade has dropped! So I dont think that's a cure all either. The tutor is great but an hour a week will only do so much.

I agree she has come across barriers, but she is also lazy. She always has been , even in primary. However , I take on board the processing problems have probably had a big part in this. She also has regular anxiety attacks when she cant follow what's going on. She says she feels hot inside and wants to run out of the class. She doesn't run out and the teacher will be unaware. I have told the school as she also ended up seeing CAMHS who wrote a report. I just want to find a school that can give her a bit more time to understand things.

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