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11+ panic - HELP! Ds wasn’t called for any interviews :(

(184 Posts)
mummy2aPrince09 Fri 17-Jan-20 22:28:11

Hi All, me again!

It has been a horrendous week! We’ve had too many “no’s” from most of the schools ds sat for!

We sat an extensive list of schools due to bursary application.

Ds sat Highgate (no interview)
Hampton (no interview)
Habs (no interview)
Merchant Taylors (still waiting but lost hope)
At Albans (no 2nd interview call back)
Latymer upper (still waiting)
Epsom
Reeds

Ds has had 4 rejections already. He was sure he got in for St Albans but just received a no from them too! They said apparently in the past years his score would’ve been fine but this year there a higher number of more academic applicants! When we got a no from Hamptons, Highgate and habs we were upset but knew deep down it was a push... but St Albans has come as a shock!
So basically After no from St Albans I’m quite sure merchants and Latymer is impossible... so what now?

We didn’t want to go to Epsom or reeds to be honest as it’s in the south and my sister lives in Hertfordshire and being a single disable mother I need her support.

But now I don’t know what will be... where will ds go? What should I do? All the exams have been taken! Please help. My tenancy is ending here in Acton and I don’t want ds to go to independent as he’s been in prep and being a young Carer things are already a bit stressful on him.

Please can someone advise me.. what can I do? Can I appeal? What’s the next process is nowhere is offered?

OP’s posts: |
Autumnnightsaredrawingin Fri 17-Jan-20 22:40:05

So sorry to hear this. Is there an option to go to a prep school until 13 and do the 13+? Hampton have an entry at 13? Is it worth ringing round some prep schools and see if they have any spaces? I hope it all works out and don’t lose hope, Merchant Taylor’s May still come through?

willothewispa Fri 17-Jan-20 22:43:32

Why don't you look at non selective schools and stop putting this pressure on yourself and your son? Eight entrance exams is excessive and if he's not getting interviews then maybe they aren't the sort of schools that will suit him ?

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis Fri 17-Jan-20 22:51:12

State school?
Why are you putting your child through this?

mummy2aPrince09 Fri 17-Jan-20 22:55:07

Ds has been in prep so I’m not sure how he’d adjust in state, and I’ve missed state deadlines. I also need to move as contract to this flat is ending and the plan was to move closer to where he gets a place.

In practice papers he was scoring 80% and above. His prep was happy with the schools we applied to but I don’t know what went wrong!
13+ at Hampton isn’t possible as he already done 11+ and can only do 1.

Are there any 12+ schools?

OP’s posts: |
Shimy Fri 17-Jan-20 23:11:57

Berkhamsted school is in Hertfordshire. Academically suitable for a wider range of abilities than the aforementioned schools and gets good results.

Sweetnhappy1 Fri 17-Jan-20 23:17:03

Fulham Prep now have a senior school, it's worth a look. West Brompton station on the Overground connects to Herts.

QGMum Fri 17-Jan-20 23:23:09

As your ds is at a prep school they should be making sure that he has a senior school place at an independent school. This is their job. If the worst happens and he ends up with no offers then the head at your school should hit the phones for late applications to other less over subscribed schools.

Also you can still make late application to state schools and if you move close to a school you are very likely to get a place.

Remember you only need one offer, so fingers crossed Merchant Taylor's comes good.

ballsdeep Fri 17-Jan-20 23:25:16

Your poor son. What terrible pressure to be put under at such a young age.

MarchingFrogs Fri 17-Jan-20 23:32:23

If you are moving soon, as soon as you have got a new address, put in a late application for as many state secondary schools as your DS can reasonably get to, within the limit - ?6 if you are Iin a London borough - of your CAF (definitely including one for which he will be near the top of the waiting list as soon as there is some movement towards the end of March, as initially you may be allocated a place at a school you didn't list). Try to get to see the schools first, although some may not facilitate random visits outside their set open evenings / mornings.

Then at least your DS will have a school to go to in September, if you don't get anything on the private sector. Making sure that he receives full time education, suitable for his age and ability etc is your responsibility as his parent, but your LA is obliged to find him a school place if you opt to discharge your responsibility by asking them to do this (as, of course, 90+% of parents do). Home education is another legitimate option, but takes quite a lot of organising at secondary level, one would imagine.

mummy2aPrince09 Fri 17-Jan-20 23:37:07

Do you think the bursary application is making an impact on the decisions of not to call him back?

OP’s posts: |
Techway Fri 17-Jan-20 23:40:29

Have you seen any state schools? What is your preferred area?

I think you need to sort your a accommodation as it is too much pressure on your son.

Ginfordinner Fri 17-Jan-20 23:41:20

Possibly. Is there any way of finding out?

Notcontent Fri 17-Jan-20 23:42:33

You mention that you would need bursary for him. My understanding is that it is very difficult to get a bursary place - because obviously only one or two bursary places would be available, so he would need to perform really well, not just well...

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Fri 17-Jan-20 23:44:49

Where on earth is his prep school in all of this? What does his HT say?

Paribus Fri 17-Jan-20 23:45:11

City for girls has 12+- try ringing City for boys and asking them may be?

willothewispa Fri 17-Jan-20 23:47:55

* Your poor son. What terrible pressure to be put under at such a young age*

My thoughts exactly. Poor boy.

mummy2aPrince09 Fri 17-Jan-20 23:48:36

Today I have sent a strong email out to his headteacher for help as it’s too much now. Yes I really think it’s because of the bursary and ds is not scholarship level.

Moving so fast for me isn’t easy as most landlords don’t accept people on benefits so the search is still on. I feel like I am in a real mess and poor ds thinks he’s not smart enough even though he studied so hard.

OP’s posts: |
mummy2aPrince09 Fri 17-Jan-20 23:51:20

I hadn’t thought about the bursary being a possibility of the rejections until just now when someone mentioned it. On most websites they mention equal opportunity. Hoping next week will be a better one :-/

OP’s posts: |
Ginfordinner Fri 17-Jan-20 23:52:05

I agree that the pressure he must be under is very hard, especially if he is your carer. I think you need to look at state schools as well.

ballsdeep Fri 17-Jan-20 23:55:42

Op I actually feel sick with panic reading this myself so god knows how your son is feeling. Having to sit through exams, interviews and being told at 10 or 11 that he is not good enough. For the love of christ think about what this is going to do to his well being and confidence. You seem desperate to get him into one of these schools and it's clear from posts that he's not going to get in. Put him in a state school and of he's as clever as you think then he will excel there.

lordchipmonk Fri 17-Jan-20 23:57:37

I would start looking at potential late places at decent state schools. If you child is bright and motivated, he will excel wherever he is.

SD1978 Sat 18-Jan-20 00:04:21

If you're not willing to go independent- you need to start looking at state schools. I agree the amount of pressure your son must feel as there has never been a contingency for this scenario must be immense- and the fact that your move to a new area is dependent on his school acceptance, being a carer, and needing to be near to your family for care reasons is a lot of pressure to put on a young boy. maybe it's the bursary thing, maybe it was just a particularly difficult year with many boys achieving high scores. You need to start looking at longer term options for accomodation, securing that, which you e already stated will be hard, and then organising schooling round that. What schools are the other boys going to, I can't imagine all were successful. Do you have pastoral care, social work, or someone who can help you work out the next step? As applying for somewhere to live sounds like it needs to be the highest priority right now. It does sound tough, and hope your son isn't too upset.

Dearover Sat 18-Jan-20 00:10:04

Your poor DS has suffered a real blow to his confidence. Please think carefully about putting him through anymore stressful applications. His prep school background with have given him such a strong foundation. You say that he won't be able to adjust to a state school, but why ever not? It actually sounds as though you have little choice.

My DD has always been state educated. She doesn't have a perfect string of GCSE results, but it hasn't held her back from receiving an offer for Oxford this week at a college with a majority of privately educated students. Your DS has already proved he is willing to work hard, but it sounds as though he is worrying about letting you down. Please take the pressure off, reduce the risk of him having a long commute each day, find a new home where you can be secure and apply to state schools as soon as you move.

Clymene Sat 18-Jan-20 00:13:48

Why can't he just go to a state school? You're setting him up to feel like a failure. He can't be more than just 11. It's a terrible pressure to put on a child so young

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