Advanced search

year 11 daughter struggling so much

(104 Posts)
sorrelli Sat 21-Dec-19 09:30:40

To cut a long story short, there have been extenuating circumstances which have meant that my daughter hasn't received much learning support until now, I have been unable to give it and have trusted that she would make good progress. She is well behaved, on time and the teachers say a lovely girl.

Her mock results were absolutely shocking, they were never amazing but they have plummeted, we have both suffered from depression and are getting our lives in order but she is not academic.

I have taken time off work to get better and help her focus. With mostly 1's 2's and 3's over 9 subjects I am now very worried she will not get in to sixth form.

The time we have left will basically be me teaching her all the content from scratch and revising. I am afraid her teachers are not interested in helping, they seem focused entirely on the higher sets getting them the results they want.

So the dilemma lies as follows: do we concentrate on the subjects she enjoys and likely to get highest results: History, Geography, French and English or mainly Maths, Science and English.

Her sixth form subjects rely mainly on Science, English and Maths.

However she is weaker on Maths and Science currently scoring a 1, yes a 1 but requiring a 4/5 to get into sixth form.

Please help me, what do I focus on with her?

OP’s posts: |
Darbs76 Sun 12-Jan-20 19:34:16

Sounds like you’ve both had a tough time. Might be worth exploring some other option for post 16, maybe a course which doesn’t require high grades. Don’t panic yet though, lots of time still

AMxx Fri 10-Jan-20 21:01:59

@sorrelli Please don't lose heart it is never too late. I moved schools every 1-3 years my entire education, including between different country curriculum and was told many times over I'd fail (as were my siblings). At A level they said that I'd never pass as I was doing 2 of them in a year only. I had 3 A's and D in Maths AS ( based on my ability / complete lack of interest in Maths, for me that was a success!). My teachers were also uninterested to say the least.

A tutor who is willing to help teach her how to learn in whatever way is most effective for her (if that makes sense) will be more help than a tutor trying to cram. There are some very effective techniques out there, it is about finding what works!

sorrelli Fri 10-Jan-20 19:35:14

I loved reading your mind splurge. Thanks so much that’s really encouraging! Since I wrote this post she has been working hard and realised she didn’t know how to revise^effectively at all before.

It’s great to hear of others experiences of overcoming. I’m glad she doesn’t need to do degrees for it. She has a real calming way and very mature, despite not being booksmart up until now she is very smart in other ways. Thanks again

OP’s posts: |
sorrelli Fri 10-Jan-20 19:33:56


OP’s posts: |
sorrelli Fri 10-Jan-20 19:33:26

@Namenic so important what you’ve mentioned, her confidence hit rock bottom so it’s vital I keep her bolstered up with praise for trying hard now.

OP’s posts: |
sorrelli Fri 10-Jan-20 19:31:29

@treesawyer That seems like a good approach, all your suggestions greatly appreciated and taken on board. I’ll update this post in August

OP’s posts: |
sorrelli Fri 10-Jan-20 19:29:48

Thank you for that, agree. Hopefully she can gain some work experience.

OP’s posts: |
sorrelli Fri 10-Jan-20 19:28:19

I loved reading your mind splurge. Thanks so much that’s really encouraging! Since I wrote this post she has been working hard and realised she didn’t know how to revise^effectively at all before.

It’s great to hear of others experiences of overcoming. I’m glad she doesn’t need to do degrees for it. She has a real calming way and very mature, despite not being booksmart up until now she is very smart in other ways. Thanks again

OP’s posts: |
FranticToddlerMum Mon 23-Dec-19 11:11:20

Definitely get her passes in maths and English. Then focus on her favourite subjects. Good luck OP sounds like you're both on the up and heading in the right direction.

sepsisandAKI Mon 23-Dec-19 08:59:46

Thanks for posting this original thread sorelli My Daugher is in year 10 and didn’t do so well in her science PPE’s. It’s hard supporting them when you’re not really sure where to start. She’s had a maths tutor from Sept and her maths has come on lots. I’m glad you’re getting one. The links other posters have put up are great too. Fingers crossed you can work together to get her what she needs.

Namenic Mon 23-Dec-19 08:18:47

Echo here about gaming it in science. A lot of it is about knowing the key words And definitions: photosynthesis, respiration, bonding, charges particles, collisions.

Namenic Mon 23-Dec-19 08:13:38

Good luck OP! It’s hard with unsupportive school. Does she have memory issues - because Quite a lot of science can be done with repetition. Hopefully with her extra effort she can see the progress she is making in maths and it will become a virtuous cycle where she revises more. Just make sure she knows you notice she is working hard and you are very proud of her for that - no matter what results she gets.

PostNotInHaste Mon 23-Dec-19 07:56:15

I keep going on about gaming it to two captive boys on the school run where they can't escape and have to pretend they are listening

That's a really useful one about examiner's report, had forgotten about that.

TreeSwayer Mon 23-Dec-19 07:32:01

It would help for resources if we knew which exam boards English, Maths and Science come under.

So YouTube which she can watch whilst getting dressed, brushing teeth etc and speed the video up to either 1.5 or 1.75 and see if she can still understand it.

Mr Bruff for English
FreeScienceLessons for AQA Science (also Primrose Kitten)

For English lang, Ds had 3 ready to go stories that were generic enough to fit the titles of The Secret, or The Choice (Wjec/Eduqas exam board) and he could just change a location or setting as he struggled with lang a lot. He had shown these to his teacher beforehand and got her marks on them etc.

I also completely agree with the PP who said put it all in an email to school confirming what was said about dropping subjects etc so they cannot ever deny the conversation.

My son had a child in his year who they felt would benefit from resitting the year to give him the best chance for GCSE success, they also had a couple of children who sat 6 GCSEs but had to keep Maths, English and Science so they clearly dropped some subjects.

I also helped Ds a lot with English lit and lang plus History to help him get stella exam results, he loves maths and science. Remember to tell your DD that this is a game, you may not like the rules or how to play but you have to know how to get marks on papers (AQA science uses specific terminology) look at the examiner's report for the paper as well as the mark scheme.

Oliversmumsarmy Sun 22-Dec-19 18:50:29

I do get the feeling that your dd is not really taking on board the work involved.

Even when the yr13 girl told her do you think she actually took the boring hard work that was involved on board or is her wanting to do psychology blinding her to what is involved.

Yes to GCSE English and Maths then prioritise the others in how easy she finds them. Then decide which way to go

PostNotInHaste Sun 22-Dec-19 10:39:11

DD went in a very roundabout way, into a creative field first where a good portfolio she had pushed herself to get helped her onto a course . She did year 1 of creative degree which gave a certificate of higher education . She then applied for current degree to go into year 2, they said no.

She didn’t give up and suggested she came and sat a test to show her ability which she did and they agreed to let her on. It was her dogged determination to get to where she wanted to that kept her going . She has failed Maths 3 times but going to have another go as knows it it will become an issue at some point.

Obviously different field to your DD but point being sometimes things happen in roundabout way. As others have said you don’t need a Psychology degree to do counselling and maturity and life experience play a big would be good for her to have a look locally and see what voluntary work might be available to her. Might not be directly relevant at the moment but hopefully get her a foot in the door somewhere and who knows where it might lead.

QuiteGood Sun 22-Dec-19 10:33:22

I completed 2 thirds of training to become a counsellor but stopped when pregnant. It really wasn't that academic. Lots of private therapists set up their own practice. You just need to make sure your course is accredited by one of the regulatory bodies. Plus there are lots of third sector organisations that will refer to you, provided you meet the criteria. Anxiety UK being one.

Most counselling courses won't let you onto the course beneath a certain age & will want to see some sort of work (voluntary or paid) in a related field too.

Sooverthemill Sun 22-Dec-19 10:24:23

Most counsellors I know did a non relate to degree then voluntary work then Masters/PhD in order to work as a psychotherapist/ therapist. Every one of them ( two in family and three friends) got a 1st in their undergraduate degree even those who didn't do a PhD. It's highly competitive and very academic. She may not want to be a psychotherapist but a different sort of counsellor but those are also highly competitive and require significant academic input as well as reciting therapy alongside it. It's an excellent career choice but DD will need a lot more life experience before she knows if she is suited to the work

QuiteGood Sun 22-Dec-19 10:21:01

She really doesn't need to have a psychology degree to become a therapist. Most counsellors haven't. Clinical psychologists and for example a cognitive behavioural therapist do different things. She might very well enjoy the latter as much. CBT therapists still earn up to £50 an hour.

I might be wrong but I was under the impression that after the psychology degree an MA is needed and more besides that too. So to become a clinical psychologist, especially in nhs, it's a long and competitive path.

If your daughter fundamentally wants to help others there are loads of jobs that can give her the same sort of satisfaction but with less academic routes. I had a long career working with homeless people, for example. I had a degree but in a totally unrelated field.

Best of luck anyway. My eldest is in 6th form now. I didn't know what his gcse results would be like because they were all over the shop previously. I told him to focus on the ones he wanted to do at A level & forget the rest. He did have tutoring too. Anyway he ended up with 7s and 8s in those subjects after being 3 grades lower at mocks. The others were mostly 5s with a 3 & a 4. In those 4 months he really upped his game. He basically revised via Seneca & refused to write things down or postcards etc. It obviously did the trick.
Is the food nutrition likely to be harder for her to achieve than say French? Maybe prioritise some of the less important GCSES just in order to get the numbers up.

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble. It's a bit of a mind splurge. Year 11 can be a very stressful year and you just want to get them over the next hurdle & roughly in the zone of where they want to be. For me it was into sixth form in his school because he's so shy, I was really concerned for his social life if he had to go somewhere he didn't know anyone.

sorrelli Sun 22-Dec-19 10:15:41

thank you and yes very good to know that with the right attitude post gcse there are options and ways to success as is the case of your daughter, now doing a degree.

OP’s posts: |
PostNotInHaste Sun 22-Dec-19 09:40:39

That’s helps a fair bit that she gets it. I do feel for you, my DD hugely struggled with GCSE and scrapped 4. She is now doumg a language degree and has been teaching Englis via Skype but got where she is in a roundabout way. 6th form was not straightforward.

sorrelli Sun 22-Dec-19 09:29:19


Yes, one of her best friends in Year 13 has shown her exactly what's required and that it is not easy. At this moment, I doubt whether she will get the 5 in Science to do the a-level. Some other friends of hers did the BTEC Applied Science which is also useful /relevant for psychology.

OP’s posts: |
sorrelli Sun 22-Dec-19 09:26:37

@LISZ I've looked it up and apparently a 'conversion course' as opposed to degree would suffice as a start but to fully qualify a degree is needed if wishing to progress on to a psychology counselling career as it is becoming increasingly competitive. I'll keep looking up alternative routes, thank you.

OP’s posts: |
PostNotInHaste Sun 22-Dec-19 08:52:58

There are counselling qualifications which might suit her better. I know this might seem a silly question but does she actually understand what Psychology A level consists of? I’ve known a few who have started it within a very skewed understanding of what it is?

Does she get that there are lots of names and dates to remember, that she will need to present her facts in a logical manner, explain theories and evaluate them , need to get to grips with and understand statistic and will cover very little that will relate to counselling ?

LIZS Sun 22-Dec-19 08:42:07

I think there are alternative routes into counselling,other than traditional degree.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in