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Son excluded from School - private school options?

(24 Posts)
WorriedMumJ Thu 27-Jun-19 17:40:22

My 15 year old has recently been permanently excluded from school and is now attending a pupil referral unit. He is miserable and I can’t convince any new school to take him despite the circumstances around the exclusion - he was attacked by two boys and fought back, but his school said his reaction was too extreme. Has anyone been through this and can offer any advice? Is anyone aware of any private schools in the Midlands that might consider him? I think private would be better as his state school did nothing to help him through the bullying he has endured since year 7. I need somewhere that has really good pastoral care.

OP’s posts: |
BarbarianMum Thu 27-Jun-19 18:00:00

The only way to find out whether a private school will take him is to call them and ask.

I am guessing he's in Y10 now, going into Y11 in Sept. That will make things even more difficult because you may get quite a bit of mismatch bw the GCSE curriculum he's been studying and that of the new school. State schools are esp reluctant to take pupils in Y11 due to this - a private school may be willing to let him retake Y10.

Other options you might consider are home schooling or online schooling then college at 16.

TapasForTwo Thu 27-Jun-19 18:05:17

I'm so sorry this has happened. It just doesn't seem fair that when the bullied child retaliates they get punished while the bullies go free.

BubblesBuddy Thu 27-Jun-19 18:05:19

With his behavoiur and Year 11, I woud be surprised if any private school would take the risk. Usually schools do not permanently exlude for a first pffence unless it was extremely violent. So I assume it was. He might just have to remain miserable im afraid. The PRU might be able to help him for 6th form.

BubblesBuddy Thu 27-Jun-19 18:06:27

Permanent exclusions are not about a bit of retaliation. They are reserved for serious cases of behaviour. Who says the bullies have not been punished?

FamilyOfAliens Thu 27-Jun-19 18:07:29

Your local authority has an obligation to find him another school.

But most short-stay schools (used to be called PRUs) tend to keep a child for a set period before they consider they’re ready to go back into mainstream school.

Speak to the staff at the SSS about how long they think he needs to be there, then ask the team responsible for exclusions in your local authority which schools they’re approaching for a placement.

It’s not your job to approach schools to ask them to take him. I’m surprised none of them has told you that.

alwaysgettingitwrong Fri 19-Jul-19 10:05:36

My son (14) got permanently excluded this week from an academy - we also live in Midlands. He has a few mental health struggles and was thrown out for punching a boy that taunted him. This isn't the first time.

I have tried numerous private schools - all say no way. As he's wants to be an engineer I think I may have a chance to get him into one of the WMG academies in Coventry or Solihull - maybe it's worth looking at a 14+ college?

MaybeDoctor Fri 19-Jul-19 10:38:33

You need to be a squeaky wheel in the ear of the local authority, now, so that there is a chance of a school placement for September.

Also look at state boarding schools? I don't know what the situation is there with regards to LA funding, but they often take pupils who are difficult to place elsewhere.

zafferana Fri 19-Jul-19 10:43:47

I doubt any private schools will want to take the risk as, unlike state schools, they rely on parents paying fees for their product. If they take a disruptive, unruly DC who might cause havoc then they risk parents pulling their DC out. Plus, they rely on decent results to attract new parents to their school, which can only survive if they get enough pupils - this makes them risk averse. The private school my kids go to took a boy who'd been excluded and he caused utter chaos. The parents were all up in arms about it and the school had to ask him to leave. They can't risk their bottom line on the chance of 'saving' one pupil.

ifonly4 Fri 19-Jul-19 11:03:32

My DD has just left a private school, major issues were zero tolerance and they were out.

It might be worth taking a step back and accepting he can't do his GCSEs when planned. Attend referral unit, be a model pupil and resit his present year again. Whether at his present school or a different one, hopefully he'll be away fromt he bullies as well.

I worked at a school previously and know of a pupil who got sent to a referral unit. He approached me about three years later, towering over me (and to be honest with history I was scared). All he wanted to do was tell me he's got into the local comp, was enjoying it, keeping his head down and working hard. So hang in there, it can be done.

bionicnemonic Fri 19-Jul-19 11:08:12

You could see if there is a Quaker school near you - they have excellent pastoral care
ps the Quakers do not tend to 'push' religion, they speak of 'seeing the gold in everyone'

bionicnemonic Fri 19-Jul-19 11:08:28

ha ha not gold, god!

Shplot Fri 19-Jul-19 11:09:33

Have you looked at colleges?
Quite a few in the Midlands will take home educated students from 14 years

bionicnemonic Fri 19-Jul-19 11:11:07

maybe take a look at this one,

blue25 Fri 19-Jul-19 11:14:18

As others say, many schools will not take him into Year 11, so he may have to redo Year 10. Private schools generally don't wnat a child who's been permanently excluded. They just don't need the hassle/risk.

Is he receiving anger management as I assume his reaction was violent?

Bluntness100 Fri 19-Jul-19 11:15:50

Permanent exclusion for a one off event is a really big deal. It must have been very serious indeed.

I think the only thing to do is speak to the private schools near you and ask if they will be willing to take him.

MirrorHope Fri 19-Jul-19 11:26:54

I've heard of a school near Leamington Spa that take children maybe with some extra needs but it's heavily pastoral. I think it's Kingsley School

MirrorHope Fri 19-Jul-19 11:27:55

@bionicnemonic I quite liked seeing the 'gold' in everyone grin

BarbariansMum Fri 19-Jul-19 18:57:20

Maybe now he's no longer being tormented, he wont be violent blue.

ChiaraRimini Fri 19-Jul-19 19:06:56

It will cost you £15K+ a year to go private OP.
this is why some kids end up with home Ed.

Nodressrehearsal Sun 21-Jul-19 21:56:31

Sibford School near Banbury

IsobelRae23 Thu 25-Jul-19 19:30:18

Could you do home Ed, and do the home education programmes available- so he will be sitting in on lessons daily etc. However it will cost you, but is cheaper than private school.

hottropica Thu 24-Oct-19 07:21:21

is there anyone been successful for appeal about exclusion?

lilyfire Thu 24-Oct-19 07:27:12

Would you consider an online school? Somewhere like Interhigh?

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