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Moving school wwyd?

(11 Posts)
beachysandy81 Fri 10-May-19 14:44:27

I have a son in Year 7. Since he started he has been bullied by one boy. The school have not taken our concerns seriously and my son has been getting into trouble for reacting to him. Previously, my son had been so good - not one bad mark or punishment the whole time at primary.

My son is doing well in all aspects of school apart from this but it is affecting his daily life and he doesn't want to go in. He does have a lot of friends there and is relatively popular. He finds the lessons really disruptive and there are a lot of classes where the teachers have no control. My son finds this really boring as he likes to work and doesn't muck around in class. Everything he does is commented on negatively by his bully so he feels like he can never relax. The bully tries to humiliate him all the time and none of his friends ever seem to stick up for him.

Anyway, I am worried my son will lose his enthusiasm for learning with all of this going on. Plus I am worried about his safety as the boy bullying him seems almost obsessed with him and does a lot of weird things to try to get him into trouble. On top of this he did something quite dangerous to my son, but because my son reacted they got exactly the same punishment.

The only local school that has a place does not have a great Ofsted (better than the current school's one that went into special measures after my son started). However, I went to see it and I loved it. It was calm and orderly, it's a mixed school which would suit my son better and they had amazing GCSE results last year (but this is the first year of this). We didn't consider this school before as it is a bit of a pain to get to and his current school is local, lots of friends were going there and at the time seemed to be OK.

I feel he would be better in that environment but he would have no friends there at all and I am worried that would really upset my son. No idea what to do. I am taking him to look next week to see what he thinks. If he doesn't want to move what do I do? Do I still send him? I don't want to ruin his life (by taking him away from his friends) but feel I have done that a bit sending him where I did.

Someone please advise me, I can't see the wood for the trees. Feeling like a bad parent.

OP’s posts: |
malmontar Fri 10-May-19 15:00:17

I’d move him personally. I had a friend who paid one boy £0.20p per day for 5 years to leave her alone. This may sound funny and we used to laugh at her but she was petrified of him and he did bully her. Bullying happens, especially to previously bullied children but if the new school handles it better than I’d move him ASAP before this person chisels at his self esteem more. There’s a recent thread on here about a mum who was in your situation at the beginning of y7 and they moved their daughter, getting her personality back within weeks.

RedSheep73 Fri 10-May-19 16:22:04

What does your son think? He's old enough to have a say, surely?

twilightcafe Fri 10-May-19 16:27:36

My gut feeling is that you should move him.
Take him to see the school. Talk about the positives of moving.
Life is too short to spend the next few years being miserable at school.

Marvelendgamekids Fri 10-May-19 17:05:52

If it was the bullying alone, I'd say push on with the school to deal with it.

But it sounds like the school are having other problems anyway.

I moved schools early in year 7, I settled fine at the new school. But what does your son think? Are there any clubs he could go to to meet children from the new school?

Punxsutawney Fri 10-May-19 19:33:20

Definitely move. My Ds is in year 10 and has possible sen. I have tried to encourage him to move schools since year 7, he has always refused because he hates change. I should have made the decision for him. School is still rubbish and gcses are next year, we still haven't ruled out a move even at this late stage as things are so bad.

PineapplesandtheGovernment Fri 10-May-19 20:02:21

I'd take him to visit the school and encourage him to move. It sounds miserable where he is. You could ask the school if they have a system where they pick a nice kid to show him where to go/help him to settle in.

floraloctopus Sat 11-May-19 11:05:59

I'd say move him but only if it is what he wants to do.

Headred Tue 14-May-19 15:41:57

Did you make a decision Beachysandy?

beachysandy81 Thu 16-May-19 12:24:36

Thanks for all the advice. He is going to see the school next week with my husband and then we will see what happens. He actually sounded quite keen to have a look.

I suppose I am worried about us making the choice for him and making a mistake. Though I am not sure we could move him unless he was completely on board anyway. I feel bad as my other child got into a great school which is not an option, so one is receiving an amazing education and the other isn't at all!

OP’s posts: |
SnowyAlpsandPeaks Thu 16-May-19 14:42:05

I moved my son as he was a good student who didn’t misbehave and was picked on by a boy who thought he was a ‘swot’- he’s far from it, just not getting into trouble is the type of kid he is.
We moved him half way through year 8 and he loved his new school. He’s now in his first year at university. It was the best thing we ever done.
Turns out the boys mum and dad were in my year at school. When I found out who they were it was a ‘I’m not surprised’ response.

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