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Is this deceitful, and if not, what do we do?(10 Posts)
Hi, I have a DS who is finishing year 11 (GCSEs) this year and expected to do well.
The issue is sixth forms. He is supposed to be in education and training next year, but I am seriously thinking about relocating (to the southern hemisphere), in Jan/Feb 2020.
However all the sixth forms I have mentioned this to do not want to take him, because he won't finish the course (whether it is A Levels or performing arts courses (which he also has an interest in)).
I don't particularly want him sitting and doing nothing from end of GCSEs until, say, February, and think it would be useful for him to start something.
Is it deceitful not to mention this to any potential sixth form/further education college? He might be taking the place of somebody who will finish the course, and some options might involve group work, which might disadvantage the group. So I can see why they would not be keen.
But otherwise I get the sense that nobody will want to take him.
What should I do?
Not deceitful at all, “seriously thinking” about something doesn’t mean it’s definite and like you say, he has to do something during that period.
As you say in your post - you are seriously thinking - not definately going - i would let your son go into schooling - if you relocate then so be it - but if not, then at least he is in 6th form. If he decided to continue and complete his studies he could well stay behind and join you a few months later. This opens all options to you - whereas if he doesnt study and you dont go, then he will have let months of studying slip by
How is that coming up in conversation?
It probably is disadvantaging him, for all the reasons you mention, but it doesn't feel like there is a natural way that could come up in conversation. Plenty of kids will leave during the course, for different countries and house moves and a whole variety of reasons. If you had an actual plan to move, it would be more deceitful, but it sounds like it's a pretty vague plan for a year away right now so I'd just stop mentioning it. There's no guarantee he won't finish the course right now.
Sign him up for A-levels then mention relocation only when it's a definite thing.
Oh no definitely don't mention it again to the sixth forms. He needs to be studying and it's possibly it might not happen in that time even if you really want it to! As PP said plenty of kids will leave the courses for all sorts of reasons! Get him in! You never know you may all still be here at the end of his course.
Well I suppose it was coming up in conversation because I was trying to work out if there were better or worse options.
For example, given that he might start a totally different course when we move (eg a science track A level equivalent), maybe it would be sensible to let him do performing arts if I see it as short term.
Or, some of the performing arts options are one year long (diplomas, followed by a second year extended diploma), maybe it is better for him to get 2/3 the way through a diploma, than part of the first year of A Levels. Also a lot of the performing arts are continuously assessed, while of course A Levels are linear, and there isn't much motivation to try if you have a pretty good idea that you will not be able to see it through.
I was trying to get a sense of these from the sixth forms, and they clearly didn't like the sound of it at all.
Any thoughts on Mumsnet about which courses are best if one might be only short term?
As people say, we might not move, but if the odds are on us doing so, then it might be better to have DS in something in which he would be motivated anyway (performing arts, he does this extra-curricular now), than A Levels, where he will have nothing to show for it. But if we don't move, I think we would want to then shift to A Levels (although I guess that could be after the full year, if he got a diploma)
I would suggest a BTec Extended Diploma, as long as the college does the 90 credit Diploma in the first year. That way, by June he'd have the equivalent of 1 1/2 A levels, and if he did the full Extended Diploma the year after, he'd have the equivalent of 3 A Levels.
Think maybe I should start a new thread with this question, as I realise I am now asking a different question from the one in the heading
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