Advanced search

I think my child has ADHD but there’s something I’m unsure about

(20 Posts)
FoxyDog1234 Tue 30-Oct-18 17:58:49

Ever since a young age my child has been quiet and shy at home and in school . In primary we never had any problems with DD minus a few arguments with a certain teacher. In year 8 of secondary school She started getting lots of c3 detentions for her behaviour in class and she’s gradually getting worse . She’s told me she’s feels like she has all the symptoms and her friends think that Too. She’s gradually getting worse and worse.I get phone call after phone call about her not focusing , shouting out ,arguing. , talking and distracting others . I have researched and it says ADHD symptoms should show through her whole life in this case she’s been acting this way for nearly a year and when I ask her she tells me she gets easily distracted .I found ONE post where it says ADHD can develop in adolescence like this case but I’m not sure . Her teachers mostly sit her at the front so they can constantly tell her to turn around or stop talking and check how much work she’s done without distracting others . She’s also constantly doing those stupid Fortnite dances to her friends in lessons when she gets the chance . I think it’s ADHD but I’m not sure .She also always hands her homework in on time despite it taking her forever . I think the online homework tracker they use helps her keep on track though.shes also very forgetful and quite ‘lazy’ yet when she’s in the mood will clean a whole house out of rubbish or scream songs and dance about. Any advice on whether it’s ADHD?

OP’s posts: |
Sweetnhappy1 Tue 30-Oct-18 18:22:36

Chronic sleep deprivation can present like ADHD, how is her sleep?

Angharad07 Tue 30-Oct-18 18:35:19

The excitement and drama of puberty can change someone’s behaviour, it sounds a bit like she’s showing off. It’s a nice little topic for her and her friends to discuss and fawn over but it is the type of condition adolescents might gossip about, in truth it takes a qualified psychologist to make a diagnosis.

ADHD is cognitive behavioural disorder that is present or detectable from early childhood. There may have been symptoms of ADHD that were missed when she was a child. There are also some bizarre behaviours that indicate ADHD, such as getting up from the dinner table abruptly and walking off without explanation (a behaviour that lead to my partner’s diagnosis as an adult haha). ADHD also has quite a few comorbidities with ASD. From the sounds of your description alone (there may be more info that might indicate ADHD), it doesn’t sound like she has ADHD. From my memory, there were lots of young, popular, school girls in my year who behaved like your DD. Sometimes it’s just a phase that kids go through as hormones at that age are quite hard to cope with. I’d keep an eye on it, particularly if she starts showing further difficulties with organisation. Ask yourself, how well can she follow instructions (even simple), how good is her short term memory- does she often forget things? Could she pack her own suitcase for a holiday with ease?

AtiaoftheJulii Tue 30-Oct-18 18:56:38

When my DD went for a medical diagnosis of ADHD, the Dr (think he was a psychiatrist?) gave me a long list of questions, and they were all about her behaviour when she was under 12.

Sounds more likely that there's something else going on?

Livingloving Tue 30-Oct-18 18:59:39

Puberty? Lots of young people change quite drastically in year 8/9.

Crusoe Tue 30-Oct-18 19:06:50

I have a son with ADHD. I really, really think there would have been indicators before this. ADHD seems unlikely to me.

FoxyDog1234 Tue 30-Oct-18 19:10:55

Yes she never ever gets any sleep , she’s awake till god knows what time 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP’s posts: |
FoxyDog1234 Tue 30-Oct-18 19:13:24

I pack her suitcase for her as she does forget most things , her head of year who used to teach her has told me about her inability to follow through on instructions , same at home . When I tell her to get her breakfast out of the microwave I’ll come and ask her if she’s had it 20 mins later and she will tell me she’s forgot

OP’s posts: |
Flyingarcher Tue 30-Oct-18 19:16:21

Lack of sleep can cause this plus hormones. An ADHD child is fairly obvious earlier on. If she hasn't displayed impulsive behaviours earlier, then you are right to question.

FoxyDog1234 Tue 30-Oct-18 19:22:38

That’s the thing , she displays most if not all symptoms now but never before . I questioned whether she has had inattention type and this was missed and she’s now got the hyperactivity type ? She’s always been forgetful and has had many temper tantrums throughout her younger years and social awkwardness

OP’s posts: |
PooFlower Tue 30-Oct-18 19:29:48

I always felt there was 'something' with my dd from an early age. But, she was 'fine' in primary school and ok at home so I just hoped she would grow out of it.

Fast forward to year 7. She had a terrible transition to high school with behaviour like you describe.
I wish I had got her assessed then but wasn't aware of the process and school never mentioned ADHD.
At the end of year 8 she began to have crippling anxiety leading to school refusal. I asked school about the possibility of ADHD and they told me to see the g.p and ask for a paeds referral.

She is now in year 10 and beig assessed for ADHD. It has taken such a long time and missing most of year 9 in school has slowed the process.

I would have gone private but there is nowhere local and she won't travel due to phobias.

Read up on ADHD in girls.
Think back to her earlier childhood.
Was she a daydreamer, Badly organised, constantly losing or breaking things, very untidy bedroom, constantly chatting. Interrupting during conversation, pacing round class, fidgety, popular but mothered by friends, problems within friendships e.g petty arguments, does she lack understanding in certain areas.
In girls ADHD can sometimes be primarily inattentive.
It is worth getting her checked out.

My dd is suffering terribly with her mental health. I believe it is due to something undiagnosed. An early diagnosis may have helped prevent a lot of her problems.

There are some good online checklists that can give an indication. You could try one and take it to your g.p if it scores high.

Superduper13 Tue 30-Oct-18 19:38:58

I agree with @PooFlower, adhd can present differently in girls. However , if you think her development as a younger child was typical then it’s unlikely to be adhd.

Sweetnhappy1 Tue 30-Oct-18 20:33:05

Honestly, sorting out the lack of sleep (I know this is much easier said than done) can lead to a massive improvement in behaviour (hormones aside). No phones upstairs, no screens for a couple of hours before bed, a decent amount of physical exercise in the day, mindfulness techniques etc can all help.

Some kids are diagnosed with ADHD when actually they are chronically sleep deprived. Conversely kids with ADHD often struggle to sleep. Either way sleep is the key.

Sweetnhappy1 Tue 30-Oct-18 20:36:17

This is quite an interesting read:

Perhaps not the mouth breathing bit but where she talks about ADHD

extrastrongmints Tue 30-Oct-18 20:39:29

ADHD can present differently in girls, leading to it being missed.
Predominantly inattentive also presents differently to combined or hyperactive/impulsive, which can also lead to it being missed.
Mild adhd can go undiagnosed for years until rising organisational demands and behavioural expectations eventually lead a child to fail to cope at secondary or even university, having been fine earlier in a more structured environment with lower demands.
Adhd and high ability can mask each other because the child uses their high ability to compensate for poor concentration.
I'd suggest you need an assessment.

MaisyPops Tue 30-Oct-18 20:53:59

It can present differently in girls so could be missed.
Equally puberty can do weird things to secondary students and they can be totally different people overnight, stay that way for a month or so and then change again

Another angle to consider if there's any self labelling or Dr Google going on within peer grouls is how many kids go through a phase of seeking some label or other so you'll have groups of peers decide they think they have or are x y z or validate each other's self diagnosed from a list of traits online. There's also been random spikes at different points in recent years (I don't want to say trend as that's the wrong word) for self identifying with whichever learning difficulty or mental health condition happens to be the flavour of the month. I'm not in any way shape or form minimising actual mental health conditions by the way. I'm just saying these are things I've seen as a secondary form tutor.

Personally, I'd watch and see (and not get drawn into that chat with DC either) Sometimes puberty brings out some boundary pushing. I wouldn't assume a couple of C3s plus some lists online mean there's a send need. If you end up with bigger concerns speak to the SENDCo about assessment.

FoxyDog1234 Wed 31-Oct-18 10:24:16

I don’t think in any way my child would be self -labelling as shes not really one for attention but I’m not sure

OP’s posts: |
MaisyPops Wed 31-Oct-18 10:39:04

I didn't mean she would be. It's just every now and then you get groups of students who self label having read things online etc.
Some it's more of a way of making sense of themselves (e.g other people behave like me) others it can be attention, soemtimes its curiosity and novelty that wears off, others it's just a thing that happens.
I only mentioned it because it's something i've seen.

Personally I'd watch and wait. Nothing in your initial post screams a concern to me and it seems more typical of puberty doing weird things. If you have any more concerns though then ask for an assessment.

FoxyDog1234 Wed 31-Oct-18 11:31:45

Ok thanks x

OP’s posts: |
Floottoot Wed 31-Oct-18 12:15:13

DD was diagnosed at 7, but had shown symptoms since she was born, pretty much.
She didn't really display the HD part in school, more the AD bit.
She's in year 10 now and the hyperactive bit is off the scale at times recently. Puberty definitely changes things.

It could be that your DD has ADHD and it's coming to the fore now. Or it could be that she has some of the related issues, such as working memory issues, executive function difficulties, and the step up in expectations, combined with hormones is causing her behaviour.

Maybe ask to have her assessed for processing, memory etc (more easily measurable things), before seeking assessment for ADHD?

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in