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3 weeks in at secondary school and my DD has moved tutor groups and classes..she’s devastated

(59 Posts)
Tinkie25 Sat 22-Sep-18 06:04:41

DD came home from school yesterday and told me that her and about 5 other children (who she didn’t know that were in other tutor groups) were told by the HOY that they were moving tutor groups and here is your new timetable. My DD walked out in shock where she looked at her timetable and all her classes have changed too.

She is really devastated and spent the whole evening in tears. She is now away from her best friend and other friends that she made in the first few weeks. She was given no reason for it. (And she was too shocked to ask) She said a new girl has started in the tutor group (last week) and the tutor mentioned he has too many in the group now. DD said she is not struggling in the lessons nor has she found it easy. She took a maths and English test and got very similar scores to her friends in the class.

She was so anxious about starting secondary because a girl in her previous class had bullied her, but luckily she was put in a different tutor group and was never in the same class. Now her new tutor group is with this girl and she’s worrying the classes will probably be the same too☹️

She will also have a later lunch setting, so will not even see her friends for lunch.

There have been no issues with DD since she started, her old tutor even emailed me telling me how pleased she was to have DD in her tutor group as she had looked after a few children who were struggling and being overwhelmed. She really liked her tutor and found her really approachable, she has previously met her new tutor during transition and didn’t like him very much.

I called the school, but there was no answer.

I’ve emailed the HOY asking for the reason DD was moved.

I’m just gutted that my DD appeared to have settled in school and now she’s saying she doesn’t want to go.

Anyone with any secondary experience who can offer any advice.

TIA

OP’s posts: |
PristineCondition Sat 22-Sep-18 06:11:19

Step back
You can comfort and sympathise but It’s 3 weeks in just see how it goes.

DumbledoresApprentice Sat 22-Sep-18 07:38:42

I actually think it’s really poor practice to move a child’s form group and classes without having explained to them and their parents why it is necessary. Kids in my school sometimes move forms but never without talking to the child and parents first.

continuallychargingmyphone Sat 22-Sep-18 07:40:28

I’d say the opposite to pristine actually - this is just the time to step forward. I would politely raise these concerns and ask them to reconsider where she is placed.

bigchris Sat 22-Sep-18 07:43:03

I think that's really bad

I'd ask to speak to someone urgently first thing Monday morning

Penisbeakerismyfavethread Sat 22-Sep-18 07:46:10

Honestly I’m not normally precious about this kind of stuff but as there is a history of bullying I would take her in at 755 on Monday morning and DEMAND to meet with the HOD. Get her moved back ASAP

JellySlice Sat 22-Sep-18 07:50:39

Definitely go in early on Monday and politely, but firmly and assertively, insist upon an explanation. And if you do not agree with the explanation insist that she be swapped back.

Absolutely unacceptable to mess around with a child in this way, especially a potentially vulnerable (because of the bullying) new child who has already settled in so well.

Starlings27 Sat 22-Sep-18 08:02:51

I 100% agree this is not the time to step back. Certainly don’t make a fuss about it to your DD - tell her you’re sure it will be fine once she’s got used to it, she’ll make new friends etc. BUT also definitely talk to the school on Monday and try to get them to reverse the decision, especially stressing the bullying fear. I think it’s terribly bad practice to do this - it’s one thing to move a child at the end of a school year into a new class for the next school year, especially as part of a general reorganisation. But it’s awful to move a new yr 7 three weeks into her secondary school career when she’s just started settling, and make her have to make friends by breaking into already established friendship groups, especially when a girl who previously bullied her is in the new class and will have the “home advantage”, so to speak.

Penguinsetpandas Sat 22-Sep-18 08:09:19

I would let the school know and say she's worried as she is now with a girl that used to bully her at primary. I would ask why its happened, don't think its great practice though could be a good reason for it.

Clankboing Sat 22-Sep-18 08:12:55

Send an email. Look on the website and put in all that you have said in this post. It will be sorted.

montenuit Sat 22-Sep-18 08:25:58

I would be getting onto the school and not letting it drop.

Just because she seemed to be happy, robust and settling well they selected her as one who could cope with a move. (Unless they have another reason, i bet they don't.)

You know she has issues with a girl she is now going to be with - that's reason enough for them to reverse the move. Insist on it.

Trampire Sat 22-Sep-18 08:38:26

That would really upset me too.

I have a dd in Y9 and my ds has just started Secondary 3 weeks ago too.

My dd says that occasionally they might move a single child into or out of their tutor group. However this is a move that has been over a long period of time where the child in question has requested the move.

I'd be gutted for your dd. It's terrible that you've been given no reason, it affects their whole transition.
I would def not take this lying down. Not wooed about kicking up a fuss. This is the one time you should. It doesn't matter it's only 3 weeks in.

Yes, over time they branch out from their first friends but to have such a thing forced upon your dd at this early stage is awful.

Def go to see HOY on Monday. Send emails over the weekend (someone may pick it up very early Mon morning). Mention the bullying. Don't back down.

Trampire Sat 22-Sep-18 08:39:19

Not wooed? = Don't worry

Witchend Sat 22-Sep-18 10:38:05

I would go in too. At my kids' school they do move tutor groups around-but only at request from the kids involved and with liaison with parents etc.

hestia2018 Sat 22-Sep-18 10:58:07

I would get involved too. At DDs school they only move tutor groups occasionally in consultation with a parent. I think it’s very poor to move her without prior warning or discussion. Moving lessons they do occasionally if a test shows they should be in a higher or lower band, but this would only be for certain subjects eg maths, definitely not all of them! I’d ask school for an explanation. Must be very unsettling for your DD.

noblegiraffe Sat 22-Sep-18 11:00:56

Wow, that’s bonkers. Teachers work so hard to get Y7s to settle into their tutor groups, and to uproot her unexpectedly after 3 weeks is totally unacceptable. To move her into the tutor group with the girl who bullied her just shows how little thought has gone into this.

She is basically being expected to start secondary school afresh with a whole new group of people.

Firstly: she needs to be removed from the tutor group with the bully straight away
Secondly: she needs to be returned to her original group and classes
Thirdly: If the school want to mess around with tutor groups then they need to have a bloody good reason (and they moved a girl into the tutor group so it’s their mistake if the class is too big and your DD shouldn’t be punished for this). They need to make any further changes sensitively, ask if there’s anyone unhappy with their current group (and there will be after 3 weeks) and move those, not random kids who were happy.

ChocolateWombat Sat 22-Sep-18 11:34:25

Email the Form teacher and Head of year and Pastoral Deputy. Raise it as a query rather than complaint. Say that this is what DD has reported, but you are querying it, because it seems hard to believe this is what has happened and hard to believe such a thing would have happened without discussion with yourself and DD first. Be clear it has and is causing distress and so you would like to discuss it and get it sorted as a matter if urgency.

In both email and if you go in, be calm and question firmly rather than ranting or being critical. Insist on explanations and speedy actions, and after any meetings out everything in writing to confirm you you understood has been agreed.

elkiedee Sat 22-Sep-18 11:36:58

Glad to see more sensible responses and advice, including the last post from a teacher (noblegiraffe).

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 22-Sep-18 11:46:44

Please don't email, this is serious enough to go in and have a face to face.

BerriesandLeaves Sat 22-Sep-18 11:47:40

I would send an email this weekend and say she has been moved into her bully's class and you are very concerned and your dd is very unhappy having made friends. Ask for her to be moved back away from her bully and with her new friends

BerriesandLeaves Sat 22-Sep-18 11:51:35

I would expect a call back on Monday to an important email as that would be the case in dd's school, but if not then go in instead

OlderThanAverageforMN Sat 22-Sep-18 12:17:42

Changes in Forms, Tutor Groups or Sets will probably occur regularly throughout your DD's school life, and it will be something she will have to get used to. Having said that, I too, would be unhappy that this has happened so early in Year 7, and even more concerned about the bully. I think your focus should be with the bully issue, and to let the school know the background, and the problems which could arise with your daughter being with this other girl. I would hope the school would be concerned enough about your daughters well-being to acknowledge the problem and either move her back, or move her to another group.

Our school has so many groups it is mind-blowing. They must have very sophisticated timetabling software, but we have: a Form Group for registration and PHSE, a Tutor Group for lessons, and then different sets within that for Maths, English and Languages. They are then mixed again for PE, and mixed again for Art and DT. They also have Houses for special events. Additionally they re-set all of these groups every year!!! The key however is that everyone knows this in advance, and accepts that this is part of the school life.

spinabifidamom Sat 22-Sep-18 12:22:49

This is not appropriate. Politely visit the school on Monday morning to ask to talk with the teacher immediately about this matter.

Treat this as a urgent problem. I think that you should definitely follow up on this. Stick to your guns. Email them first. If no action is taken consider homeschooling her. This is technically poor practice. And this is totally unprofessional unacceptable on the school’s part as well.

Don’t be emotional though. Act calm and levelheaded. If nothing comes of your query raise it with OFSTED. I’m sure that they will probably be interested in what happened. Or the governors.

MrsChollySawcutt Sat 22-Sep-18 12:29:57

My DS just started Y7 this year and I would definitely not be happy to have him moved out of his tutor group at this stage. He has worked hard to build up friendships and get to know people in his classes, why should he have to start all over again in different classes where friendship groups have already started forming?

Send an email to HOY, politely but firmly stating that you are very concerned about the change and want to understand the reasoning behind it. Yours and your DDs preference would be for her to remain in tutor group X for the reasons you have stated above (previous bullying, anxiety about making friends etc). Request an urgent meeting to discuss on Monday morning.

noblegiraffe Sat 22-Sep-18 12:48:38

I would probably email over the weekend with your concerns saying you want an urgent meeting on Monday rather than just turning up as this will give them a chance to formulate a plan before seeing you rather than being caught on the hop.

You need to make it clear that your DD will not be staying in the tutor group with the girl who bullied her, and the best solution will be to return her to her original class. I would also point out that you are concerned that this decision was made with no warning, parents weren’t informed, 3 weeks into an extremely difficult transition time for Y7s.

Normally I would advocate framing it as a query, but if your DD has her new timetable in front of her then it seems clear that this is not a misunderstanding.

Don’t say you’ll be taking it to Ofsted, the school will have a clear complaints procedure which will be listed on their website. If the head of year brings no joy then the next step would probably be the head.

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