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How many meet ups with friends a week?

(4 Posts)
Penguinsnpandas Sat 08-Sep-18 20:54:22

DD has just joined a new school. Got invited to hang out at park with 2 girls today and 5 boys also turned up and 1 asked one girl out. DD returns after 4 hours and says she wants to spend all tomorrow with them, Monday go to gym with them, Tuesday go to homework club with them and then from 7.30pm to 8.30pm go to a youth club each week. On the one hand I am delighted she's making friends, on the other thinking we will never see her, not totally happy with "hanging out" and how much going out is reasonable. I will probably say yes to these as she is new but going forward what's typical. She also does 2 clubs a week. Is 12, responsible but will do things to be popular / peer pressure. So how, many meet ups is normal and what restrictions. Thanks. Very safe area. Other girls sound fairly sensible but all have had boyfriends which DD hasn't and don't want her having at 12 though not sure what boyfriend means.

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Penguinsnpandas Sat 08-Sep-18 20:56:02

The club is also on Tuesday. Not sure what happens Wed to Fri. 😂

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RedSkyLastNight Sat 08-Sep-18 22:19:55

Our restrictions are:
- I (or DH) must know where they are
- they must be home for meal times (or if not possible, let us know in advance)
- they must leave sufficient time for homework
- family/other commitments come first e.g. going to the dentist
- no "hanging out" outside once it gets dark (so the onset of autumn/winter will naturally curtail this)
- must be home by 8.30 on school nights (later times on weekends negotiable)

So what your DD is doing sounds very normal!
Having a boyfriend at this age seems to mean that you tell your friends that you like x boy and you sometimes hang out with him!

I would say it's pretty normal for DD (who is 12, in Y8) to "hang out" with friends after school most days - sometimes at school, sometimes in the park, sometimes at someone's house. In Y7 they also tried out a variety of after school clubs, but this petered out pretty quickly - DD now only does 1 after school club though is also involved in music activities which takes up a lot of time prior to concerts etc.

Penguinsnpandas Sat 08-Sep-18 22:41:11

Thanks very much, that's really useful. I am glad the boyfriend thing is fairly innocent, DD seems horrified and was telling me she might need help to say no to boys so should be OK.

She did lots of primary playdates but always an adult present, then year at grammar where no real playdates, was a bit shocked by quantity here though nice. She's pretty good at doing homework though do want family time. Think my parents were very strict and didn't have many playdates and always with an adult.

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