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School Trips

(66 Posts)
Maranello55 Sun 22-Jul-18 19:40:32

I would like to ask the community on the following unfolding scenario for everyones opinions.

I have two boys at Secondary school just finishing Years 7 and 8, and several weeks ago parents were sent a letter advising of an upcoming skiing trip next year. Both boys want to go, so I paid the deposit 20 mins after they opened up the system for taking deposits ! Job done I thought. All sorted.

But no....apparently....a few days ago parents are advised that because of an influx of applications that children will be selected at random to go on the trip, in some "Thanos" (for anyone who has seen Avengers : Infinity War) style random selection system. Needless to say one boy has been selected, and one boy has been told he cannot go. I do not think it right or fair when my payment was made immediately (I must have been one of the first) and I am now told that one boy cannot go. I do not find this fair at all. I also think it unacceptable to split a pair of siblings. Imagine you are a 12 year old boy and your brother and best friend have been accepted to go on the trip and you have been told you cannot go.

I personally think that this could have a longer term detrimental effect and that he will now resent anything to do with his schooling if the situation is not resolved.

What does everyone else think ?

OP’s posts: |
noblegiraffe Sun 22-Jul-18 19:44:40

I think you tell the disappointed sibling ‘better luck next time’ and apply for the ski trip again next year, but only for him.

First come first served is a terrible way to run school trip applications and they would have been better to do names out of a hat from the outset.

SillySillySausage Sun 22-Jul-18 19:45:32

I think it is probably the fairest way to do it really. Otherwise parents who aren't able to pay within 20 minutes etc are at a disadvantage. They may be at work or in hospital or not have enough money until payday etc. It's unfortunate one child got a place and the other didn't. Could you maybe ask that neither go this year and instead ask if both can go next year?

titchy Sun 22-Jul-18 19:52:18

* I personally think that this could have a longer term detrimental effect and that he will now resent anything to do with his schooling if the situation is not resolved.*

That's ridiculous unless they're conjoined. hmm

Ones going, the other will go in a year or two or three.

Maranello55 Sun 22-Jul-18 19:57:33

They are very close to one another. They do everything together.

And the following year trip is 3 times the price of this coming years trip due to where it is. So there is a massive payment difference on the following years trip.

OP’s posts: |
Maranello55 Sun 22-Jul-18 19:58:19

I did think about that, but the payment difference is 3x more expensive for the following years trip

OP’s posts: |
Maranello55 Sun 22-Jul-18 20:00:32

I do agree there should have been a better way of doing it. Poorly organised. But when you are told there are limited places, you think well I best get my skates on and get the deposit paid to ensure both places are secured.

OP’s posts: |
OddBoots Sun 22-Jul-18 20:04:12

If you don't want them split will the school refund you if your other son gives up his space?

intuition Sun 22-Jul-18 20:07:08

I sent both my son so a ski trip together and MASSIVELY regretted it!! The whole prospect of both my DSs being on a flight, in a resort, on a coach and think 'OMG. what if they die together. I'd be absolutely devastated!! Why oh why did I put all my eggs in one basket!!

It's a blessing, trust me!!

Tinlegs Sun 22-Jul-18 20:11:50

PGL offer really good ski trips. Might be an option for your son. He could do his own thing, make new friends etc. Could be presented as an opportunity. Or pull the one out who got in and send them both to PGL.

RedSkyLastNight Sun 22-Jul-18 20:28:56

My DC would consider it a bonus if they didn't have to both go on the same school trip. I'd imagine that most teenage siblings would either react like that or not be that bothered. I can't imagine too many would be deeply upset about not being able to go together.
(hopefully there is at least a notion of anyone who didn't get in this year, having priority for next year's trip??)

TeenTimesTwo Sun 22-Jul-18 20:48:00

Pull the selected one out of the trip.

I agree that first come first served is not good. It should be 'apply by X date, if over subscribed we will pull names out of a hat'.

FreshEyre Sun 22-Jul-18 22:12:40

I personally think that this could have a longer term detrimental effect and that he will now resent anything to do with his schooling if the situation is not resolved.

I'm sorry but this seems like a massive overreaction. Yes, it's disappointing but schools just can't win when they manage oversubscribed trips. Time to teach a bit about resilience, 'the luck of the draw' and that sometimes life doesn't seem fair.

You have a couple of options...
- Neither goes on the trip but they have 'banked' the money for a future trip or holiday
- One goes and one doesn't and the unlucky DS knows that his time will come to do something and he has 'first dibs' next time

SillySillySausage Sun 22-Jul-18 22:22:06

Why are they changing the trip to somewhere loads more expensive next year?

Maranello55 Sun 22-Jul-18 22:36:42

I'm sorry but this seems like a massive overreaction. Yes, it's disappointing but schools just can't win when they manage oversubscribed trips. Time to teach a bit about resilience, 'the luck of the draw' and that sometimes life doesn't seem fair.

No I do not believe I am overreacting at all. If schools do not want to have oversubscribed trips then plan it out better and make parents aware before they pay their money that their is a chance that despite paying a "non-refundable" deposit (they are paying it back as far as I am aware for the rejected son, although I do not know this for sure) that this might happen. No mention was made of this scenario in any of their correspondence.

As far as I am concerned one of my Son's is being disadvantaged of the opportunity which is not fair or equal.

If modern schools want to subscribe to equality and fairness policies then they need to get themselves organised better.

OP’s posts: |
Maranello55 Sun 22-Jul-18 22:37:46

Why are they changing the trip to somewhere loads more expensive next year?

I have no idea. Diversity ?

OP’s posts: |
Wolfiefan Sun 22-Jul-18 22:39:58

It's disappointing but you are overreacting. If it's so awful then don't let either go. The school can only take so many kids. They can't know in advance exactly how many will be interested.

BringOnTheScience Sun 22-Jul-18 22:44:39

A ballot to allocate places is by far the fairest system. You have massively overreacted: it sounds like you all need to learn to cope with disappointment.

MaisyPops Sun 22-Jul-18 22:51:33

Fairly standard.

School trip goes live.
Parents pay a deposit (which is only refundable if the child doesn't get a place)
If oversubscribed then it's random.

Sadly, I'm yet to have been involved with or known of a school trip where at least one parent of a child who missed out hasn't done the same old argue why it's not fair because my child didn't get a place thing.

Soursprout Sun 22-Jul-18 22:53:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreshEyre Sun 22-Jul-18 22:58:41

Maranello No one is suggesting that it isn't disappointing and incredibly frustrating particularly when you were under the impression that it was 'first come first served' but you're not doing anyone any favours by suggesting that this decision is likely to have a long-term impact on your son.

At 12/13 they should be old enough to have a sensible discussion about what's happened and how to deal with it collectively to ensure that both boys have been given a fair opportunity to go on trips at the end of Y11.

MN is full of threads where children aren't selected for end of year awards, sports day events, milk monitor or head shepherd in the nativity. Yes, it's rubbish if you're the one who has missed out but as parents we have to help our children to deal positively with these setbacks and not treat them like the end of the world.

By all means speak to the school and ask whether DS could go on the waiting list for the trip or be given priority for next year but I can't imagine that school are going to withdraw another child's place so that both of your DS can go.

ScattyCharly Sun 22-Jul-18 23:02:43

I’d not send either. Stupid of the school to split a pair of siblings like this.

ScattyCharly Sun 22-Jul-18 23:03:37

Ours isn’t random. It’s first come first served.

clary Sun 22-Jul-18 23:07:55

Yeah standard way of dealing with over subscription.

Poor that they didn't say beforehand, but tbf it's not always easy to tell if a trip will be popular.

I would ask if the second child can go on a waiting list - every trip I have ever run has had people drop out (clash with family wedding, left the school, fell out with mates etc).

BackforGood Sun 22-Jul-18 23:35:50

Totally what NobleGiraffe said in the first reply.

You are completely over reacting.

From the outside, looking in, it would seem - with hindsight - they'd have been better offering it just to one year group in the first place, and there would be fewer disappointed, but there may be reasons I don't know about why they didn't do that. However, if you really have brought up and 11 and 12 yr old who aren't able to be separated from each other hmm then your answer is to withdraw the one who was lucky enough to get a place, from the trip. Does seem a shame for him, but that's up to you if you want to spoil this chance for him.

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