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Son made a mess of Year 12

(12 Posts)
user400 Sat 19-May-18 20:04:00

Hello all

My son is certain he has failed his AS levels and I hate to say this but I think he is right. I don't actually know why he was hardly ever in but his attendance up until recently was 65%.

In previous years his attendance never dropped below 90%, he does suffer from anxiety and he has claimed he has felt depressed and stressed over his a levels but I think he just talked himself into it and made it worse by not turning up to school 35% of the time he was meant to be there.

The school have been very supportive of him, they've tolerated him being off loads despite them having no legal obligation to let him continue in their school, they even allowed him to go home during his frees so he could study but he done no such thing, he just came home and done nothing all year.

He is a very intelligent person, he got 5 As 2Bs and 1 C in his GCSEs. Last year he only started revising the night before his exams and managed to come out with those results so he thought he could do the same with ASs and he sat two exams last week and only started revising a few days before, now he knows he hasn't done as well as he could have done and is annoyed at himself for being so silly, despite his dad and I as well as teachers constantly telling him to revise months beforehand.

He is now saying he realises the massive mistake he has made and that he knows he will pay for it in his poor results. He says he feels really down because he won't have any nice results to look forward to in August and that he really regrets his attitude this year.

I've reassured him that he can always repeat Year 12 or he can carry on into Year 13 but repeat some of the papers next summer, he now realises that he's created himself a lot more work next year for no reason. He has said that he would find it difficult repeating a year as he would be a year below his friends.

I don't know how else to reassure him, its not that he's not capable, he just didn't put any effort in this year at all. He has said he recognises that it's his fault but he keeps moaning on about how he's so annoyed at himself and that he's really disappointed that he will get bad results despite being told that he can repeat them

OP’s posts: |
annandale Sat 19-May-18 20:07:57

What's done is done. I would try to focus his thoughts on his possible options, given that he doesn't actually know how he's done yet. It would be good to think about who he needs to talk to at the school to discuss resits, whether it might help to see his GP if his anxiety is a real struggle at the moment, and what he's going to do if he's actually done quite well, plus what he would do if he's done very well. Also, options for the summer, would he like to get a job?

In the end they're only exams and they are a means to an end, not an end in themselves. He's more than young enough for a lot of false starts.

LIZS Sat 19-May-18 20:09:58

Depends on the subject but most AS no longer contribute to A2 results. However with those gcse results and sporadic attendance is he really committed to 6th form. Would a change to college, an apprenticeship or different exams perhaps be better!

user400 Sat 19-May-18 20:17:11

Hi yes I think deep down he would be devastated if he left school altogether, I think regarding the attendance he just wanted to push his luck because his excuse was "I'm above compulsory school age and I don't have to be here so I'm going to go in when I please "

He now realises he was very wrong and has said that he will wise up and put more effort in next year

OP’s posts: |
TheFrendo Sat 19-May-18 22:52:26

What GCSE grades did he get in the subjects he is doing at A level?

AJPTaylor Sun 20-May-18 06:43:31

Every student who cruises through gcse hits this at some point.
Have you spoken to the school? Has he? I think that is your next step. Especially whilst he is in repentant mood. My knowledge of as/a2 is out of date so wont offer advice but you need a plan.

BeesKnees9 Sun 20-May-18 07:11:12

I have been here OP. GCSEs were fine and I got good grades, and presumed I could get away with minimal effort/revision at college too. My results for AS were C, D,E and U. I almost left college, it was the first time I had really failed anything dramatically! The college i was at let me continue onto A2. I worked my butt off and got A* B B in the end and went on to university.

It’s not the end of the world, and like PP said most AS levels don’t count towards the final grade now anyway. To answer your question, it sounds like you have said all the right things anyway but the wait till results will be a long one. Just keep reassuring him there are options out there and life isn’t doomed!

physicskate Sun 20-May-18 08:52:56

He hasn't made mistakes if he learns from his 'failures' (great or small). This can be recovered if he actually changes his attitude and behaviour.

While AS grades in reformed subjects are automatically reported to any university he applies to, it makes a great story of how he learned from his mistakes and his A2 grades better reflect his attitude to study/ he has figured out what he wants to do for his next steps and has re-committed himself... good to mention at interviews as everyone roots for the underdog!

noblegiraffe Sun 20-May-18 10:32:19

He’s not the first and he won’t be the last. However, I wouldn’t tolerate continual moaning about how he’s going to get poor results when you have apparently been endlessly patient and encouraging.

A brisk ‘snap out of it, what’s done is done and now you’ll just have to deal with it, so no more navel-gazing’. He’ll be starting Y13 work once exams are over, if he really is going to change and put more effort in, he needs to start now. If he’s going to be going to the school in August to beg to be allowed to stay on courses, it’s not going to wash if he spent June and July slacking off as well. So he needs to crack on.

ScrubTheDecks Sun 20-May-18 21:19:03

What noblegirafffe said!

He’s used his Get Out of Jail Free card in that the A level
Exams next year will cover this year’s work as well and his AS results won’t count towards A level grades. He needs to buckle down right now, as noblegirafffe says, and not flop around between now and the end of term saying ‘the exams are over, nothing important going on’. Once the exams are over, they will be starting A2. He needs to start as he means to go on!

Good luck!

Snowysky20009 Sun 27-May-18 13:46:40

OP don't know if you will read this as it's over a week old. However I was doing 3 A-Levels, predicted ABB. Had a massive 'I'm going to fail' month and ignored my teachers pleas of stay because you will pass. I dropped my A-Levels and changed to a B-Tec course. Obviously this meant I repeated year 12. It was ok. I knew the other kids anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. So if he does repeat, tell him it's not as bad as he imagines. On the plus side, he'll be popularly in class as he'll have covered the work once already!

mookinsx Thu 31-May-18 20:03:14

He can resist and this attitude will push him to do better. All his friends will be at Uni or in a gap year and he will still be paying.
He can look into an apprenticeship.
Then he will be earning and having to take responsibility look on the website for some courses he may wish to consider

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