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Is it ever acceptable???

(45 Posts)
RemmersMum Sat 05-May-18 09:26:39

Is it ever acceptable for a teacher to call a student a t**t ? For all intense purposes, why not go for full hog and use the C word or is t**t now an acceptable expletive???? 16 year old DS is by no means perfect but the dictionary provides plenty of alternative expressions that can be used if the teacher wishes to express his annoyance with DS actions.
I'm not sure whether it's worth taking umbrage with the teacher involved for his poor choice of language or tell DS not to be and idiot in future and let it go.
Thoughts?

OP’s posts: |
colditz Sat 05-May-18 09:28:19

Well, people are going to say no, ur poor bbby etc but honestly, how much of a twat was he being that he drove a teacher to that language? He must have been a fairly massive twat.

NommyChompers Sat 05-May-18 09:28:24

I’d let it go tbh. I’m sure no lasting damage has been done

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Sat 05-May-18 09:29:42

It’s in our staff code of conduct that we can’t use bad language around students.

PurpleDaisies Sat 05-May-18 09:30:12

It’s irrelevant how much of a twat the ds was being. It isn’t acceptable to call students names. It’s unprofessional and unnecessary.

felicitythemangyfox Sat 05-May-18 09:32:51

Not ideal but if it's a one off and he really was being one..

noblegiraffe Sat 05-May-18 09:35:44

No, not acceptable, however I do know that people often think it is a bit like ‘twit’ and are mortified when they find out it’s not.

CrumbliestFlakiest Sat 05-May-18 09:42:11

I was about to say the same as @noblegiraffe . But to answer your question, no i don't think staff should call children names. Your son should have been removed from the situation before the teacher got so agitated.

Your son's behaviour sounds as though it was unacceptable though. I hope you are working with the school to improve it. This presumably would not have happened if your son had been behaving properly.

colditz Sat 05-May-18 09:46:46

Your son should have been removed from the situation before the teacher got so agitated.

He absolutely should have been BUT he's 16 and it's entirely possible that he's the biggest person in the building. What do you do what someone bigger than you won't do what you say?

Homemadehopeful Sat 05-May-18 09:51:32

My sister is a primary head and several years ago a TA in foundation stage said twat in front of the children (she didn't call a child one) When challenged on it the TA explained she thought it was a cross between twit and prat grin She was an older woman though, I'm sure most younger people would know the meaning!

Donthate Sat 05-May-18 09:52:37

As a teacher in FE I’m guessing he was being a twat but the teacher shouldn’t have said it. Complain if you want. Teacher might get disciplined. At our place very likely they would be sacked. Unless they get excellent results every year. Then they are untouchable.

CrumbliestFlakiest Sat 05-May-18 09:55:46

@colditz a senior member of staff such as a head of year or a member of SLT should have come to the classroom. If the boy still wouldn't move (rare, usually other SEN involved) then the rest of the class should be moved and parents should be called.

You need to provide a dignified way out for the student. Shouting at them often just makes them dig heels in.

Smeddum Sat 05-May-18 09:58:55

I wouldn’t consider twat a swear word tbh. And it would entirely depend on the situation, if it was used to humiliate your DS for no reason - go batshit. If he was being a twat - tell him to sort his behaviour and leave it with the teacher.

My mum used to call my dad a twat until I explained what it meant, she was mortified blush

colditz Sat 05-May-18 10:00:10

I would be deeply saddened if someone lost their job over this.

I know it's certainly not acceptable to swear at a student but the student is 16, not 6, and although i would like to have a word if someone swore at my 15 year old, if I thought someone might get sacked I would keep my mouth shut and tell him to stop being a twat if he doesn't want someone to call him one.

mither Sat 05-May-18 10:01:23

Did he say twat or tit?

ineedamoreadultieradult Sat 05-May-18 10:04:04

He is 16 and was probably being a twat. I think at this age you can deal with swear words without your mum having to raise it with the school.

lljkk Sat 05-May-18 10:29:54

If my 16yo was called this I'd be strongly inclined to think they fully deserved it.

okdok Sat 05-May-18 10:32:33

Let it go fgs.

RemmersMum Sat 05-May-18 10:44:09

DS generally gets good grades and his reports never indicate any behavior that is an issue - by me acknowledging he is not perfect does not mean he is a classroom hooligan, disruptive or a trouble maker! If he was, perhaps I would not be so annoyed. He was being a bit of a show off out of class.
On reflection there is the chance that the teacher (older) does not know it's meaning. If a school demands a certain level of behavior from students, I think it is only fair that parents can have the same expectation of teachers.
That said, I have had my moan and will leave it at that and not make a major out of a minor.
Have a fab weekend

OP’s posts: |
MarchingFrogs Sat 05-May-18 11:37:27

The British usage of the word as meaning 'someone behaving foolishly' certainly well predates here its use (?an American import) as a slang term for female genitalia. I am in my late fifties and grew up with it being a synonym for 'idiot', rather than for 'c**t'. If the teacher had really meant to offend as a response to annoying behaviour, he might have used the latter word - but I suspect that actually, he wouldn't, not least because that was not the message he wished to convey?

Personally, I might be tempted to have a word with the teacher concerned, but more from the angle that if he really isn't aware of the modern understanding of the meaning of the word, he might inadvertently find himself in serious trouble sometime soon.

Especially if the school turned out to have a policy of instant dismissal for swearing...

AuntieStella Sat 05-May-18 12:29:40

I've just looked it up in OED- the word has been around and meaning genitalia since before US was founded!

So yes, I think it should come under whatever swearing policy the school has.

(Assuming he's not misheard 'Prat' or is being a bit naughty about 'twit')

CalF123 Sat 05-May-18 12:37:06

You should be focusing on the behaviour of your DS instead of a very minor swear word being used.

AlexanderHamilton Sat 05-May-18 12:39:51

I was in my mid twenties before I knew that it had any meaning other than a fish or someone being an idiot.

If Ds (14) complained his teacher said he was a twat I’d say “well were you being” although I would contact school to remind them that due to his asd a teacher using that language would mean Ds would see it as acceptable in all situations as he can’t differentiate.

bookmum08 Sat 05-May-18 12:42:35

I have never heard it being used as a word for lady bits. I only know it as a slightly ruder version of twit!!
(in my 40s btw)

RowenaDedalus Sat 05-May-18 12:43:28

I mean the teacher definitely should not have used such language at all, but I have only had a few occasions in my career where have I considered swearing at a child (never ever ever have, and I am always very polite to them) but they have always been being total dickheads when I've been pushed to that moment! Luckily I've never done it. I've wanted to so much though!!

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