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School that has a nice/caring environment?

(16 Posts)
Ssunshine13 Fri 13-Apr-18 16:31:18

Hello everyone,

My daughter is shy and introverted especially with foreigners. She went to a state school near our current accomodation last year but I didn't do a lot of check about the school beforehand because the website already showed pictures of plenty students from muslim/ethnic minorities background (we are from a Southeast Asian muslim family). Ofsted school report also says satisfactory (3) rating on its page and so I enrolled her there straight.

We came from outside of UK and just settled last year, so I was rushing to find schools back then. My child spoke only of the basic english knowledge so local terms, slangs or advanced english conversation may have been difficult for her plus her shyness.

She was a bubbly kid during her last school time at our country. But now on the first months in the UK, she showed no signs of problem/sadness although I noticed somedays she became more listless. During the near end of that year, she finally opens up a bit about her peers 'sometimes' picking on her or mocking her. After the start of Year 9 spring term, she went full breakdown one monday morning and cried about all of the bullying they did to her from the start of day 1. I started contacting the pastoral care and discussed the matter to staff a few times. They did warn the bullies and tried to ensure me although my child keep saying otherwise about the situation (the teacher ignores bullying in class, people are rowdy but no one can stop them etc). I still tell her to go to school everyday, but she always cried before going to school and begs at me to stay at home. I couldn't let her always stay at home too, for educational reason.

My last straw is when she cried for 1 week straight after waking up and I started making appointment with a therapist for her. She was never heavily bullied before nor receive discrimination.

We need to stay here until at least 2 more years and I think it would be better if she went to a school somewhere else.

If you know about schools that gave your children nice/caring perspective or schools that are truly concerned for students mental health, I'd like you to share it with me.

We live in London area and It's preferable for schools from those areas. It's not about GCSE results or grades anymore, I only wish for my child's happiness and social health.

Thank you.

1busybee Fri 13-Apr-18 16:38:16

Sorry to hear about your daughter. I think you need to be more specific about the area of London that you live in as London is huge and there are many schools which would be out of area for her. If you move her I would say do it ASAP as she is going to have to choose gcse etc

sayatidaknama Fri 13-Apr-18 17:11:51

Whereabouts are you in London?

Davros Fri 13-Apr-18 19:35:04

How terrible. Let us know where you are and if state or independent is preferred?

Ssunshine13 Fri 20-Apr-18 07:59:12

We live near King's Cross, so anything that could be reached by tube of victoria/picadilly/northern/bakerloo line is alright. It's maximum 20km from St.Pancras station.

AgonyBeetle Fri 20-Apr-18 09:30:02

Parliament Hill school in Camden/Kentish town has v good pastoral care. Highbury Fields also has a goos reputation as a caring school.

Both are all-girls comprehensives with good academics and big ethnic mix. .

Dontblameitontheboogie Sat 21-Apr-18 00:04:08

When you say she's shy and introverted, "especially with foreigners", given that you say you only settled here last year, do you mean that she's uncomfortable in a predominantly white/British environment, or that she has a problem being in a class with non-whites?

Dontblameitontheboogie Sat 21-Apr-18 00:07:27

"My daughter is shy and introverted especially with foreigners."

Looking at that again, and WTF!?! Please explain what you mean by this as I can't think of any explanations that aren't deeply racist. I'm surprised that you got any replies tbh, and that your post hasn't been pulled!

Fifthtimelucky Sat 21-Apr-18 06:09:57

I can well understand that a 13/14 year old with only basic English would feel shy and introverted around people she couldn't properly understand. I'm sure I would feel the same.

I don't have any practical suggestions about schools as I don't know the area, but I'd try and get some intensive language support as a priority.

Good luck. It sounds like a horrible situation for her to be in.

AgonyBeetle Sat 21-Apr-18 08:29:53

Looking at that again, and WTF!?! Please explain what you mean by this as I can't think of any explanations that aren't deeply racist. I'm surprised that you got any replies tbh, and that your post hasn't been pulled!

If you read the OP it’s clear that the family are not from a UK background and don’t have English as a first language, so you might want to check yourself before calling for a pile-on.

I’m assuming the OP meant her dd’s shyness is exacerbated by being surrounded by being in a cultural, ethnic and linguistic minority, which is unsurprising, really.

I repeat the suggestion of looking at Highbury Fields and Parliament Hill as schools with big ethnic and cultural mixes, with a nurturing atmosphere and very good pastoral care.

Davros Sun 22-Apr-18 10:02:48

I don't think she'd get into Highbury Fields or Parli from Kings X but it might be worth a try. Would you go independent?

AgonyBeetle Sun 22-Apr-18 13:51:47

For y7 admission prob not, but if it’s an in-year application and they have spaces, they have to offer the place to anyone who applies.

Parli def have spaces in y9. Highbury fields is a bit smaller so may be less likely, but it’s still a very mobile population and not an insanely sought-after school, so there’s got to be a good chance.

Ssunshine13 Tue 24-Apr-18 07:47:31

She has problems with the non-white students, apparently. I'm not trying to be racist but most of the kids that have well background (most of them are whites) acted more nicer to her, but they are quite uncommon in the school.
The head of year explained that most of students come from Somali/Bangladesh working class and some of their parents still do traditional culture parenting (arranged marriages, physical disciplines, etc) so it may affect the children mentalities.

Ssunshine13 Tue 24-Apr-18 07:53:51

We thought dd's language skill is enough to engage in conversations with her peers, but in reality we came across some new slang words that are quite difficult to understand at first, also unusual pronounciation/use of word. My dd doesn't swear and was very polite but her environment made her the way she is now so I'm very concerned. I apologize if it sounded racist

Ssunshine13 Wed 25-Apr-18 06:57:56

I've looked through Parliament and it seems decent. However, the google review said they have narcotic problems? I knew that some of google reviews are untrue but this would be a great deal if it is.

AgonyBeetle Wed 25-Apr-18 10:32:30

I've looked through Parliament and it seems decent. However, the google review said they have narcotic problems? I knew that some of google reviews are untrue but this would be a great deal if it is.

I've had two children go through this school (one currently in Y9) and have not heard a whisper about this. Like all inner-London schools they have their share of dc from difficult backgrounds, but the extent of drug-taking my dc have encountered has been limited to a few rebels drinking and/or smoking on the Heath after school.

It's very much an environment where girls of all personality types who want to do well at school can thrive.

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