Talk

Flip

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Secondary education

Do I contact school?

4 replies

FiveMoreMinutesPlease · 19/10/2017 18:04

I’ve accidentally posted this is AIBU so apologies for duplicates.

So DS is in yr7 and moved up with a good bunch of mates. The last few weeks one of these “mates” keeps telling him to f and p off and telling him to go away. DS Is obviously sad about this.
I really want to email the school as he feeling ostracised. I also want to message the mum to give her the heads up. We are friends so I don’t want it to be a complete surprise. Am I doing the right thing? Or should I let it play out and assume it’s boys being boys.

OP posts:

Report

Needmoresleep · 19/10/2017 18:22

I would not contact the mother. She may hear a different version from her DC and it could make matters worse. I would be tempted to write a short email to the form teacher saying there seem to have been a few problems, and could they keep an eye out. But in a low key way so you don't use up capital if it all blows over quickly.

(I once did the latter, and it appeared that the child had "previous", so so the school pounced quickly in the hope of avoiding a repeat of earlier problems. We were a bit surprised but DD was mainly relieved the problem was being dealt with.)

Report

FiveMoreMinutesPlease · 19/10/2017 19:52

That’s sounds good advice. Having talked to DH think I may leave contacting the school until the start of half term in the hope the situation settles down. DH thinks it’s boys establishing a pecking order. I hate school friendships!!

OP posts:

Report

cnn27 · 23/10/2017 10:22

Honestly as a teacher/form tutor, I would take this more seriously than just thinking it's boys being boys. Boys do banter etc. with each other, but telling each other to f/p off and go away isn't banter, it's bullying, and doesn't tend to go away by itself. I would contact the ft and explain concerns.

Report

FiveMoreMinutesPlease · 23/10/2017 19:29

Thanks CNN. My gut instinct is to to do as you say. I know his school is quite hot on tackling these types of things. DS knows it too and doesn’t want his friend to get a detention and cry. However, I’ve pointed out to him that his “friend” doesn’t seem concerned about DS’s feelings.
I work in a school and know how sometimes these things can easily be fixed with just a conversation between all parties. I just don’t want it to make it worse for DS. I want to make it better 😬