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Really worried about situation at dd's new school.

(4 Posts)
BlueCows Tue 10-Oct-17 18:32:00

She moved school for sixth form. Seemed to settle in really well, made friends, etc. Which was a relief as she'd been bullied a bit at her old school.

Then a boy asked her out. She was thrilled, really liked him. They met up a few times after school. Then they were meant to go to pizza express last weekend and he pulled out citing family commitment which had been sprung on him. Fair enough. Dd by now had been warned about him by a few girls saying he was a player and dd should be careful.

The evening she had been meant to be meeting him she met s female friend in town and they saw him on a bench snogging his ex girlfriend. He doesn't know dd saw him.

She ignores his snapchats all weekend which get progressively nastier, him asking her what her fucking problem is, etc.

So yesterday/today dd has told some of her new female friends what he did. They all seem to be siding with dd and are up in arms about his behaviour. She's also just told me that one time they met out of school he "tried to finger me", stuck his hand up her skirt, she tries to pull back and said to stop it and he wouldn't and she had to push him off. That was the last time she saw him out of school thankfully. She told the girls at school about this and now that has got round the sixth form.

So he marches up to her in the common room today and is shouting at her for daring to tell people stuff. I'm guessing he was denying everything but didn't mention anything specifically. His ex girlfriend who I guess is now his girlfriend again is also in sixth form. They walk off together.

Dd is crying by now and some of her friends are trying to comfort her. He comes back in, sees dd crying and gets his new girlfriend on a sofa opposite her and they start a lengthy and very full on snogging/groping session right in front of dd.

I feel I ought to support dd in reporting him for sexual assault if she wishes to, though she hasn't mentioned this. I don't know if I ouhght to ask her if she wants to. But then it's her word against his, people will say she's after revenge after been dumped so no good will come of it apart from her name been dragged through the mud. Kids turning against her, etc. But I'm angry that at 16yo she learns that blokes can do this and they get away with it. But I know she won't be believed. But I'm angry at myself for thinking like this.

Hufflepuff719 Tue 10-Oct-17 18:43:41

It's completely unacceptable that he has been messaging DD in a nasty way and shouting at her. This is threatening behaviour.

I would tell the school about his threatening and nasty behaviour.

I would also report him for sexual assault. If you don't report him, he may go on to force himself into more girls.

BlueCows Tue 10-Oct-17 19:15:20

Thanks. Yes I think talking to the school about his nasty messages, etc is called for. Really not sure about reporting a sexual assault though.

admission Wed 11-Oct-17 16:12:29

The pupil's behaviour in school in the common room is where you and your daughter need to start. It is totally out of order and the school should be ensuring that such groping etc does not take place. There are plenty of witnesses and the school should take appropriate action.
Unfortunately the rest of your post is much more difficult to prove and almost invariably is going to come down to a slanging match of he said / she said. I am not sure that this is going to be of benefit to your daughter to pursue unless you go to the police over assault but even then it is not going to be easy to prove.
Your daughter has been given a lesson in how poor the behaviour of others can be. She does appear to have handled it well and I think that your support and the support of her friends is far more valuable longer term than taking it further with this despicable person.

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