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Detention in yr 7 - harsh?

(111 Posts)
SingingGoldfinch Tue 03-Oct-17 15:28:04

Hi - my dd has just started in yr 7. New school, new rules, new friends - all the usual stuff to get her head round. The school has a policy that it doesn't enforce any sanctions in first 2 weeks but then they come into full force. In principle I don't have a problem with that approach - until that is my daughter very genuinely forgot to do a piece of maths homework and landed herself an after school detention. No warning, no lunchtime detention just straight into a full on after school detention. She was beside herself and really anxious about it all weekend - she's always been so conscientious and has never been in any trouble at all at school. She's done the detention now and I've told her we just put it behind us and move on, but my question is do you think this was a little harsh? Others have forgotten homework in other lessons and been let off.

PotteringAlong Tue 03-Oct-17 15:29:25

No. She knew the rules and school were very clear about what would happen. Next time she needs to do get homework.

greystarling Tue 03-Oct-17 15:31:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

permatiredmum Tue 03-Oct-17 15:32:10

Too harsh.After school detentions should be for intentional naughtiness, not a memory slip by a kid still trying to get to get to grips with things.

cottonwoolbrain Tue 03-Oct-17 15:39:09

DD's school give them loads of chances.

For each mistake (e.g. forgetting homework, equipment, lateness etc.) they get a disorganisation mark. For 3 marks they get a demerit and have to see head of year. If they get another 3 marks they get a demerit and a detention then the slate is wiped clean and they try to avoid getting more marks.

This seems a bit fairer than a full on detention for one mistake and probably focuses the mind quite well if you have 4 or 5 disorganisation marks!

ineedamoreadultieradult Tue 03-Oct-17 15:42:37

Full on after school detention seems a bit harsh for 1 forgotten bit of homework but if that's the policy the school has then that's that, lesson learnt. Are you sure there weren't other factors taken into consideration like messing about in class etc.

Dixiechickonhols Tue 03-Oct-17 15:45:45

Seems harsh. I'd look at why it happened with DC and move on eg if DC forgot to write in planner remind to always write it down. DC has a penalty points system, I think forgetting work would be a point. Then 3? points gets a detention. Also yes lots of letting off and gently reminding next time that would be a penalty point.

Lily2007 Tue 03-Oct-17 15:47:35

I think that's very harsh. I think at DDs school its 6 homeworks not done.

SingingGoldfinch Tue 03-Oct-17 15:49:13

Nope - it was definitely just given for homework issue - we had a form to sign for it which clearly said "forgotten homework". She was the only yr 7 there.

The set up at your school sounds more reasonable Cottonwool, especially for year 7s. I fully support clear rules on this but starting secondary is so full on and there is so much for them to learn and organise. There is also the added complication that they have a homework planner which they write in and an online app - most but not all the homework goes online. This is how dd came unstuck.

nobutreally Tue 03-Oct-17 15:52:05

Interesting. Dd (y7) got a detention today for forgetting to take in her homework (she did it; just left it at home). Immediate (short-20 mins??) detention after school - although they got let out early for behaving so well in the detention! She's scarily resilient so was fine with it - although her older brother would have been mortified in year 7.

I am fine with it - homework is important in secondary, getting that clear for year 7s doesn't hurt. But I told both mine that secondary would be strict, and there would be more detentions/no second chances In the way they'd had in primary.

iwouldgoouttonight Tue 03-Oct-17 15:57:10

I think it's too harsh but we're going through similar at DS's school. His friend (also year 7) got a detention for not being able to do some homework on the online app because his login wasn't working and the teachers knew that. DS is getting really anxious and making mistakes he wouldn't normally make because he's scared of getting a detention.

I completely understand they have to have rules and clear consequences, but to me a detention is for deliberately naughty behaviour or consistently forgetting homework, not a one off mistake.

viques Tue 03-Oct-17 16:00:00

But how did a conscientious child "forget" her homework. I am assuming they have a specific homework timetable for each subject, either in a jotter or on line so she should be capable of checking that for herself. It's not as though homework is a new thing for Y7 , most primaries set homework from Y2 . The" new school, new rules" excuse doesn't work since she was the only Y7 who forgot. by all means tell her to move on from it , but don't be too sympathetic, she has learned a lesson the hard way, don't mess with the Maths department!

permatiredmum Tue 03-Oct-17 16:07:26

But how did a conscientious child "forget" her homework

ummm maybe because she is human?

SingingGoldfinch Tue 03-Oct-17 16:09:53

She's definitely learnt her lesson the hard way Viques - and I'm not being overly sympathetic. By moving on I also mean learning from it. She is very conscience - but juggling the multiple homework is hard and takes some getting used to. Accidentally missing one doesn't mean she's not conscientious. She's trying really hard but this just slipped through the net. The reason (and appreciate it sounds a bit "dog ate my homework") is that her water bottle had leaked on her planner so she couldn't write it in. I know this is true as have seen the evidence. The homework was not put on the online system. She could obviously have written it down somewhere else and we've talked about that in case a similar situation arises again. Plus, others have forgotten homework in other lessons and been let off so the new school new routine does follow - she was just unlucky with what she forgot compared to others!!

SingingGoldfinch Tue 03-Oct-17 16:11:02

Exactly Permatiredmum! Human, bewildered and anxious about all the new things she's being bombarded with!

iwouldgoouttonight Tue 03-Oct-17 16:11:38

I'm a very conscientious adult and I forgot to bring a bra to change into after I cycled in to work today. People forget things, especially when they're feeling under stress.

PotteringAlong Tue 03-Oct-17 16:13:51

I fully support clear rules on this but starting secondary is so full on and there is so much for them to learn and organise.

Which is why she had a grace period at the start of the year.

isawahatonce Tue 03-Oct-17 16:13:52

I think an after school detention is very harsh for a first offence - she should have at least been allowed to bring it in the next day and then maybe given lunchtime detention if she forgot again. I think of after school detention as being for something very bad. I also just think after school detentions are unfair - it's such a big difference between the child who lives 5 minutes away and walks and the child who lives an hour away and would miss the bus. I'm pretty much on my own on that opinion though.

whatsleep Tue 03-Oct-17 16:14:00

Maybe they don’t do a lunch time detentions. like others have said it’s just following the rules set out to the kids. It doesn’t matter if it was an innocent mistake or a child who intentionally didn’t do it, and the teachers don’t know the children that well yet to make and informed decision as to which category you child fits into. They are setting the boundaries I guess, and she won’t forget again so the punishment has worked. It may feel harsh but they are at high school and have to quickly learn that they need to be responsible for themselves.

Theresnonamesleft Tue 03-Oct-17 16:14:54

Mine did this in the first week. He had completed it just left it at home.
Now, he does his homework and organises himself the night before for the following day.
THere's no discretion, the teacher has to tick online if it's handed in. Not tick, automatic detention.
I don't have a problem. Since the new head took over a few years ago it's gone from a failing school, with a very bad reputation and parents actively avoiding to one of the best in the country.

Witchend Tue 03-Oct-17 16:49:03

It does depend on the school. One local one is miss homework for any reason= automatic detention.
The advantage is that they know exactly what it comes. Of course this does advantage any child whose parent is close enough to the school to drop it off if they realise in time.

My dc's school is less automatic. Most teachers say 2 missed homeworks and the third is a detention. But some are lighter and some it's only one.
I do prefer that because it does allow for the genuine mistake, but I suspect ds when he goes will make most of this and be on 2 missed homeworks before he remembers to do it.

CathyMedici Tue 03-Oct-17 16:55:44

Very harsh.

Middleoftheroad Tue 03-Oct-17 17:01:32

I think its harsh. In my DS first week kids got detention for forgetting PE socks! No two week grace.

My other son's grammar nowhere near as strict as comp.

Detention should be for bigger 'offences' like repeatedly failing to do homework or fighting. Surely it devalues its worth if they're handed out for minor/first time matters?

ChocolateWombat Tue 03-Oct-17 17:03:08

A lot of schools go for a zero tolerance approach. They don't both with little lunchtime detentions but go straight to after school ones and have a clear line of sanctions which are rigidly enforced. They do this because experience suggests it works best and is the best detterant to either poor behaviour or disorganisation.
Yes, it isn't pleasant to have the extent ion, but it certainly focuses the mind for most in a way that other punishments might not. I think the key is that the system is clear. It should be enforced the same by all teachers too, but the reality is that this never quite happens. All kids need to behave as if it will be.

Lots of other schools are not quite so rigid. It's often the independents and the grammars which are not quite so draconian. Perhaps it's because they don't need to be, because behaviour or organisation or whatever is a better standard to start with and they feel the kids can cope with more of a 'shades of grey' approach without chaos descending.

I would agree that an after school detention for 1 forgotten homework is on the harsh side, but I wouldn't dwell on it. It's done now. They probably give out loads and loads and it's not considered as especially big deal. I do think it's important to support the school and not look to wheedle your kid out of a punishment which has been given unless there is a total misunderstanding.

Lunde Tue 03-Oct-17 17:03:08

I got a detention at a similar age for forgetting my lab coat for science. It seemed a bit harsh to me as we were not doing any lab work that lesson but were coping from books. But it was a rule so I did the detention and moved on

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