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Secondary education

GCSEs I'm sure they'd all pass! Lighthearted

17 replies

Allthebestnamesareused · 22/06/2017 14:32

An oldie but goodie!

GCSE: Cross-curricular studies for teenagers

Time allowed: 1 hour 45 minutes

Please show your workings.

Mathematics

  1. Three people live in a house. All of those people are over the age of 14. Please explain, with the aid of diagrams, why only one of those people can take the rubbish out.


  1. Josh has started an apprenticeship earning £140 per week. His mobile phone bill this month was £385. How much pay will he have left over?

a) All of it, WTF should he pay his own bill?
b) None of it, he has spent it all on a tattoo

  1. Jane wears a clean shirt to school every day. Jane has six shirts. Explain using Bayes Theorem and taking into account microbiological cross-contamination how likely it is that any given shirt on the floor on Thursday morning will be clean enough to wear to school.


English language and creative writing

  1. "I was like going to the shopping mall and met like Lucy, Dan and like two other people from like school. We went to like Hollisters to get some like T-shirts for Dan and then went to like Primark cos Becky like needs a bikini for her holiday in like Benidorm. We were like starving so we went to like McDonald's to get like some food and met up with like more people from school. We all had like burgers and like chips and some of us had like a drink but some of us didn't have like enough money."


Explain the exact meaning and usage of the word 'like' in the above passage.

  1. Write about an inspirational member of your local community, such as Beth's Mum. Pay particular attention to Beth's Mum's opinions on music, art, politics, fashion sense, physical fitness, financial generosity and liberal parenting policies.


Combined Science

  1. Explain, using the periodic table, why WKD will make you puke.


  1. Explain the physics behind the phrase "It's just gone". You may use any of the following objects to illustrate your theory: an outdoor coat, one rugby boot, school tie, art coursework.


Technology and Computer Science

  1. Explain how you will circumvent the broadband security your moderately techy parents have set up. Use diagrams if necessary.


  1. You have been invited to sleep over at Harvey's house. Your parents wish to communicate with Harvey's parents about this.

(i) Explore and explain the circumstances under which the following items of modern technology would be simultaneously broken in order to prevent this communication from taking place:
a) the telephone - you should include reference to both landline and mobile.
b) email or any other internet-based communication system.
c) carrier pigeon.
(ii) Calculate the probability that, in a relatively small village, your parents already know that Harvey's parents have gone away for the weekend.

Critical Thinking

10. Explain what happens when you use the last of the toilet roll.
a) I put another full roll on the holder.
b) I stuff the full roll behind the back of the holder.
c) I'm going to Nando's with Becky.

Drama and Theatre Studies

11. "The Walking Dead could totally happen."
Discuss the devices used by the writers to support this assertion. Your answer should include reference to themes, tone and setting.

Economics

12. You are in a house alone during the day. How many lights should be switched on and remain on?
a) Those in the room you're in.
b) Those in the room you are about to enter.
c) All of the lights including the fridge light as, though you are able to remove plaster when you slam your bedroom door shut, you can't quite shut the fridge door properly.

Philosophy

13. It's soooo unfair!!!! - discuss.

14. Arthur is 17. His dinner consists of a XXL pizza and there is half a pizza in the box. Discuss whether this is:
a) Half eaten
b) Half uneaten
c) Not enough

For bonus marks:
How much more pizza will it take to fill Arthur up? (10 pts)
Discuss the theoretical concept of "too much bacon" (15 pts)

15. If a mother is speaking and no one is listening, does she still make a sound?
OP posts:
Michaelahpurple · 22/06/2017 14:45
Smile
ScarlettFreestone · 22/06/2017 14:50

I particularly like no 10. Grin

I would submit that the answer to no 15 is that the Mother produces an increasing volume of sound in direct proportion to the number of people ignoring her...

TeenAndTween · 22/06/2017 15:37

Smile
I thought it was going to be on revision procrastination

GCSE I'll do it tomorrow
GCSE simultaneous revision and social media
GCSE X-box

Allthebestnamesareused · 22/06/2017 15:53

I think we all have that "one" in particular we can relate to! I sent it to a friend who has been experiencing "9".

OP posts:
snozzlemaid · 22/06/2017 15:56

As a parent of a 19 and 15 year old, you've just made me cry laughing.

harderandharder2breathe · 22/06/2017 19:28

Not a parent but a Guide leader so I particularly relate to "it's just gone" see also "my mum didn't pack it" and "my mum forgot"

BringOnTheScience · 22/06/2017 20:38

DC2 is sitting this 3 years early and is forecast A*

user1492287253 · 22/06/2017 20:47

oh lord. i love this.

TheDrsDocMartens · 22/06/2017 21:28
Grin
GallicosCats · 23/06/2017 15:41

I like particularly like number 4 like.Grin

lljkk · 23/06/2017 20:16

May be an oldie but I LOVE it.
Especially item 3. Grin
We are pondering a zombies theme activity for a science festival!!

GU24Mum · 23/06/2017 21:16

Brilliant!!

Can I add one to the Psychology section:

"You have taken a week over the deadline to decide whether you want to go on a school holiday. You finally decide that you do and your parent reliably informs the school the following morning. By late evening you "think" you may have changed your mind. Discuss the reasons why your mother's behaviour is exhibiting signs of stress and irritation"

corythatwas · 24/06/2017 10:53
Grin
coldcanary · 24/06/2017 11:03

Explain using diagrams where necessary how the meaning of the sentence 'yes I'm up' changes depending on whether you're actually out of bed or just saying it to stop your mother from telling you to get up for the umpteenth time Angry

Extra points question: when you do drag your arse out of your pit please explain the method used to make a cup of tea and some toast using 75% of the kitchen utensils, 2 work surfaces and the microwave.

minesawine · 25/06/2017 10:28

Analyse the following conversation:

"No she's not my girlfriend, she is just a mate"
"No I don't kiss all my mates, you're weird"
"Why can't I have my mate in my bedroom when you're at work, mum you've got problems"
Smile

SoupDragon · 25/06/2017 10:35

There's an entire thread that these were taken from. I sniggered my way through it earlier this week.

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